CmdrSlander
Member
In this thread we will pick workaday, boring, old or weak firearms and describe them in the most sensational terms, as if we were members of the mainstream media.
To begin:
To begin:
Fun Thread: Describe a Mundane Gun as a Panicked Journalist Would
- Thread starter CmdrSlander
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tyeo098
Member
This assault weapon is not regulated by ANY laws due to its 'age'
It it capabile of EITHER firing an over .50" caliber solid lead ball (bigger than the 50 cal imploding bullet sniper rifle the military uses) or an even more deadly combination of smaller pellets and a large ball. The ranvenous gun lobby calls this "buck and ball" to make it sound like it has a hunting purpose for hunting 'bucks' (male deer).
It it capabile of EITHER firing an over .50" caliber solid lead ball (bigger than the 50 cal imploding bullet sniper rifle the military uses) or an even more deadly combination of smaller pellets and a large ball. The ranvenous gun lobby calls this "buck and ball" to make it sound like it has a hunting purpose for hunting 'bucks' (male deer).
The Ruger .22 pistol shown above:
The matte, stainless steel finish of the type favored by gangsters and Sonny Crockett, combined with the extended, high velocity barrel, along with sights that are known for their uncanny accuracy, makes this the perfect urban assault weapon. Deadly accuracy combined with concealable stealth and durability. This type of weapon has really only one purpose...
The matte, stainless steel finish of the type favored by gangsters and Sonny Crockett, combined with the extended, high velocity barrel, along with sights that are known for their uncanny accuracy, makes this the perfect urban assault weapon. Deadly accuracy combined with concealable stealth and durability. This type of weapon has really only one purpose...
XD Fan
Member
Very amusing.
JRH6856
Member
tyeo098 failed to mention that when the older assault weapon was in common use as a military weapon, buck and ball was a favored load because of the horrific and devastating wounds it inflicted.
Dangerous Tactical Pistol
This high velocity easily concealable pistol does not set off metal detectors and could used to cause mayhem with the nations air fleet. This very pistol is used by the air force as a survival pistol for their highly trained pilots. Of course, the Navy doesn't need it because they have real aviators who can land on a pitching deck in the middle of the night.
This high velocity easily concealable pistol does not set off metal detectors and could used to cause mayhem with the nations air fleet. This very pistol is used by the air force as a survival pistol for their highly trained pilots. Of course, the Navy doesn't need it because they have real aviators who can land on a pitching deck in the middle of the night.
This is a military grade weapon of war only suited to the battlefield, it can shoot down airliners and go through tanks. Nobody needs one of these spinning ammo clip magazines holding dozens of deadly high powered rounds with a shoulder thingee that comes up.
If it saves just one child we need to ban use and ownership and do a background check on anyone even thinking of owning one of these tools of murder. Banning them is just not enough, we need to check everyone's background just in case they might find one on the street. The streets have become rivers of blood where no child is ever safe.
Anyone even thinking of a weapon of any type is plainly a nazi, racist, and an enemy of all the good the state can do for us. Do it for the children and let the state save us!
If it saves just one child we need to ban use and ownership and do a background check on anyone even thinking of owning one of these tools of murder. Banning them is just not enough, we need to check everyone's background just in case they might find one on the street. The streets have become rivers of blood where no child is ever safe.
Anyone even thinking of a weapon of any type is plainly a nazi, racist, and an enemy of all the good the state can do for us. Do it for the children and let the state save us!
bushmaster1313
Member
Black
Concealable
Hold more than 7 rounds total
Fire as fast as you can pull the trigger.
Used by myriads of uniformed cops.
Both sport the dreaded tactical T-grip
Grip thingy on the Centennial goes in and out
Humpback has thumb activated semi-concealed hammer
Cylinder latch on side goes back and forth
Two military style features (Concealed Hammer plus Hammer Shroud)
A favorite of General Nguyen Loan
Select Fire allows a two round burst with a single pull of the triggers
Overall length less than 36 inches
Barrel length less than 20 inches
Combat style front and rear sights
Two prominent pistol grips extending below the action
Independent mechanisms allows for two handed firing
Two rotating cylinders:
I live in a border state to New York, so please don't tell Andrew
Concealable
Hold more than 7 rounds total
Fire as fast as you can pull the trigger.
Used by myriads of uniformed cops.
Both sport the dreaded tactical T-grip
Grip thingy on the Centennial goes in and out
Humpback has thumb activated semi-concealed hammer
Cylinder latch on side goes back and forth
Two military style features (Concealed Hammer plus Hammer Shroud)
A favorite of General Nguyen Loan
Select Fire allows a two round burst with a single pull of the triggers
Overall length less than 36 inches
Barrel length less than 20 inches
Combat style front and rear sights
Two prominent pistol grips extending below the action
Independent mechanisms allows for two handed firing
Two rotating cylinders:
I live in a border state to New York, so please don't tell Andrew
Fishslayer
Member
"Deadly military style high powered sniper rifle!"
"Deadly military style automatic assault rifle!"
"HUNDREDS of rounds of deadly custom made ammunition!"
"OVER A THOUSAND rounds of deadly high powered military style ammunition in assault clips!"
"Deadly military style automatic assault rifle!"
"HUNDREDS of rounds of deadly custom made ammunition!"
"OVER A THOUSAND rounds of deadly high powered military style ammunition in assault clips!"
This very accurate, high capacity, semi-automatic rifle has been causing mayhem for many years in rural areas. It's favored by many marksman and snipers alike. Capable of 14 rounds of continuous fire before reloading it is quite deadly. It is well balanced for faster follow up shots or for acquiring a new unsuspecting target faster. It can be totally customized with folding stocks, and aftermarket optics increasing its lethality. Feared by so many innocent victims and their families. And loved by so many bloodthirsty killers. This weapon should be banned and all currently owned should be confiscated.......
The Marlin Model 60.
The Marlin Model 60.
digsigs226
Member
Okay, I'll bite:
The shooter used a rapid fire Glock semi-automatic pistol that is a favorite of mass shooters, and is capable of accepting a deadly ultra capacity 33 round magazine for wholesale slaughter. The Glock fires a brutally lethal imploding 10mm bullet that is so powerful, that even the FBI rejected it for there service weapons.
The shooter used a rapid fire Glock semi-automatic pistol that is a favorite of mass shooters, and is capable of accepting a deadly ultra capacity 33 round magazine for wholesale slaughter. The Glock fires a brutally lethal imploding 10mm bullet that is so powerful, that even the FBI rejected it for there service weapons.
okiewita40
Member
OK I will try and jump in on this.
This massive weapon of war is capable of firing a multitude of different ammunition options. This weapon has been used by all the branches of the military. And is redily converted back into it's military configuration.
It is so powerful that just the sound of chambering a round in this weapon strikes fear in the hearts of millions. Can shot a single heavy prjectile or one that can kill several people all at once.
Thus I give you all the 12 guage shotgun.
This massive weapon of war is capable of firing a multitude of different ammunition options. This weapon has been used by all the branches of the military. And is redily converted back into it's military configuration.
It is so powerful that just the sound of chambering a round in this weapon strikes fear in the hearts of millions. Can shot a single heavy prjectile or one that can kill several people all at once.
Thus I give you all the 12 guage shotgun.
krameranzac
Member
Dear god will nobody think of the children! Ban them all
CmdrSlander
Member
Fires a .46 caliber bullet at approximately the same velocity as the already deadly .45 ACP round, known for it's devastating military power.
Can kill out to 150 yards, well beyond the range any self respecting hunter would shoot. Only "death snipers" shoot at such range.
Can fire a devastating 20 shots in approximately 30 seconds.
No smoke signature, and almost totally silent, capable of clandestine killing, a technique favored by assassins.
Relative light weight, at approximately 10 lbs, is the same approximate weight of military rifles in use. No civilian would need such light weight, only criminals.
The Girandoni air rifle.
Oh wait, this rifle actually exists and was designed in 1779, and used by the Austrian Army from 1780 to 1815.
But the 2nd amendment was ratified in 1791.
But, but, but, that would mean that this rifle existed when the 2nd Amendment was written! But that makes no sense! The founders only meant for single shot muskets to be included, not THIS repeating weapon! Right? No?
OMG! Does that mean that Piers, and Mikey Moore and Feinstein and all those people that say the 2A was meant for muskets are idiots?
Yes. Yes it does...
Can kill out to 150 yards, well beyond the range any self respecting hunter would shoot. Only "death snipers" shoot at such range.
Can fire a devastating 20 shots in approximately 30 seconds.
No smoke signature, and almost totally silent, capable of clandestine killing, a technique favored by assassins.
Relative light weight, at approximately 10 lbs, is the same approximate weight of military rifles in use. No civilian would need such light weight, only criminals.
The Girandoni air rifle.
Oh wait, this rifle actually exists and was designed in 1779, and used by the Austrian Army from 1780 to 1815.
But the 2nd amendment was ratified in 1791.
But, but, but, that would mean that this rifle existed when the 2nd Amendment was written! But that makes no sense! The founders only meant for single shot muskets to be included, not THIS repeating weapon! Right? No?
OMG! Does that mean that Piers, and Mikey Moore and Feinstein and all those people that say the 2A was meant for muskets are idiots?
Yes. Yes it does...
Fishslayer
Member
I finally heard it on the "news". I am NOT making this up. "On the scene" reporter describing what happened...
"The officer drew his...umm... uh...ummm... drew his uh... Glock service revolver..."
Oy vey...
eeek!
Okay, breaking the rules here a bit -- this isn't a gun -- but as an exercise in rhetoric . . .
These insidious devices routinely pass airport security unnoticed. MILLIONS of them are carried daily by SCHOOL CHILDREN.
Will operate continuously for DAYS without reloading.
Weighs less than two ounces, and is SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED to be concealed in ANY POCKET!
Utterly silent in operation.
"Tactical" matte-black finish renders it nearly invisible, along with its LCD display, which gives off no light to reveal its position.
Calculates calibers, trajectories and muzzle velocities to up to EIGHT DECIMAL PLACES!
Okay, breaking the rules here a bit -- this isn't a gun -- but as an exercise in rhetoric . . .
These insidious devices routinely pass airport security unnoticed. MILLIONS of them are carried daily by SCHOOL CHILDREN.
Will operate continuously for DAYS without reloading.
Weighs less than two ounces, and is SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED to be concealed in ANY POCKET!
Utterly silent in operation.
"Tactical" matte-black finish renders it nearly invisible, along with its LCD display, which gives off no light to reveal its position.
Calculates calibers, trajectories and muzzle velocities to up to EIGHT DECIMAL PLACES!
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ccsniper
member
I agree! Ban the children!!!
BeerSleeper
Member
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2010
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- 688
Wall full of assault sodas. Double action assault sodas have two modes of operation. In single action operation, it kills by obesity, double action kills by obesity and diabetes.
Sugar free models available in single action only, cancer by carcinogenic artificial sweeteners.
Available in standard capacity 6 packs, and high capacity cases (12 to 24 capacity).
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doc540
Member
Assassin's choice fires MULTIPLE times using only thumb and forefinger.
Ultimate concealed weapon can be discretely carried within the human sigmoid colon
Ear-piercing report causes immediate flinching, temporary disorientation and long term hearing loss
Projectiles manufactured from deadly lead and travel in excess of a thousand feet per second. That's over three football fields!
DeadMoneyDrew
Member
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2013
- Messages
- 265
"While searching the man's home, investigators found a weapons locker and an amassed arsenal of over 1000 rounds of ammunition."
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