OK, maybe I have all this wrong, but isn't where a short-barreled revolver ends up putting the round
VERY DEPENDENT on the interacton of the rotating recoil toque on the shooter's hand/wrist???
I'm thinking that the only thing one changes with the powder/bullet changes is the velocity, timing, and accleration given to the line of the extended barrel centerline at the moment the bullet is leaving the muzzle. One person's point of impact may be very different from anothers' with the same load if I am correct.
I have used 3.0 grains of Win231 with 158 grain SWC in .38 spc in very light snubbies, and it was much more fun. I have even gone down to 2.7 grains and verified that (in my gun atleast!@!!!!!) they still left the barrel going 450 fps, enough energy to prove they had enough to make it through the barrel without trouble.
If the shooter doesn't like recoil (and I'm with you there) then the only solution is a lower mass bullet going at a lower velocity in a heavier gun (whichever of those you have control over), since momentum is mass * velocity. A very light charge in a .38 spc may be acceptable to the user, and sure, it isn't going to do as much damage to the perpetrator, but at least it is something the victim is WILLING TO USE!!!! Any bullet lucky enough to strike the heart is going to have a really bad effect on the recipient, same for one to the eye or forehead.