Conceal carry etiquette in someone's home

Ok one more added dimension to this question -- suppose you're visiting a friend for a few days and staying overnight in their house. They have children. What is your course of action? Do you bring your safe with you? Leave it in your luggage? Storing in the car might work but what if you didn't drive?

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Is this really a concern? If you're awake, chances are you're dressed, and it can be on you. If you're lying down for the night, one presumes that's not someplace their kids will be directly accessing your belongings. In other words: Say goodnight, go to your assigned bedroom/sleeping area, close the door, go to sleep.

Even with my own kids, in a hotel room or whatever, I can unload the gun, put it in the bedside drawer next to my pillow, and don't sit up all night worried they might get it out, load it, and shoot someone.

A lockable case is nice for lots of reasons, though.

If I had friends over at my house, I would EXPECT them to carry. But since I don't have people over or visit anywhere its a moot point.

. Joespapa
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Join Date: March 14, 2013
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I'll bet I'm the only "gun-guy" in the world that has a problem with this. Don't really have a good explanation except that I don't want anyone in my home who thinks they need a gun in my home. Would NEVER walk into friends home carrying.....family is a different matter....not logical I guess, just me.

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I bet Manson's "helter skelter" victims thought that!


You don't get into my home unless I TRUST YOU TO CARRY!!!!

Don't really have a good explanation except that I don't want anyone in my home who thinks they need a gun in my home.

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I don't want anyone in my neighborhood, mall, church, bar, school, park, gas station/convenience store, doctor's office, courthouse, grocery store, or any other social setting, who thinks they NEED a gun there.

And I won't go anywhere, myself (except the range) where I think I'll NEED a gun.


But guns are nice to have those few times you DIDN'T think you'd need one. And then, I'd rather everyone did have them.

I dont tell and if they mind I leave never to return.

They don't have to know and if they find out by some weird chance......how good is the friendship again?

Sam1911 said:

I carry everywhere I legally can. I don't talk about it with anyone.

It is not rude -- at all -- to be armed.

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This is how I handle it.

Looking at it logically, there is a certain level of implied trust involved when you invite somebody into your home, anyway.

I'm not going to handle it, it's not going to leave the holster, some people never even know I had/have it.

Joespapa said:

I'll bet I'm the only "gun-guy" in the world that has a problem with this. Don't really have a good explanation except that I don't want anyone in my home who thinks they need a gun in my home. Would NEVER walk into friends home carrying.....family is a different matter....not logical I guess, just me.

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I don't have a crystal ball. I can not predict when I will or will not need something, including a firearm. Just like a person might need a 'home defense' firearm when they are home, somebody who is visiting my need a defensive firearm while they are visiting.

There is also the matter of what to do with it when you go into their house. Do you handle the loaded gun in your car in the driveway (or wherever) in order to leave it in the car, then handle it to put it back on when you leave? What the heck is the point in that?

Question: Do you leave pocket knives at home/in the car when you visit somebody's home?

Blackbeard said:

Ok one more added dimension to this question -- suppose you're visiting a friend for a few days and staying overnight in their house. They have children. What is your course of action? Do you bring your safe with you? Leave it in your luggage? Storing in the car might work but what if you didn't drive?

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I either do what I normally do, which is set it right next to where I am sleeping in its holster, with the added step of putting my 'real pants' on as soon as I get up so that I can holster up and have it on me at all times.

or

I bring my small traveling safe (like I use when checking at the airport) and lock it in that when necessary.

If the law does not require that I mention it, I don't.

On a macro level, I find myself more on the side of “I carry everywhere I legally can”. However, on a more micro level, I don’t think it’s so black and white. If I’m going to a friend’s house that I know/suspect is anti-gun or is at least wary about having a gun in their home, I won’t carry (even If I've never specifically been told not to carry). My friendship with certain people is much more important to me than not being able to carry for the few hours I’m in their home.

Sam1911 said:

Is this really a concern? If you're awake, chances are you're dressed, and it can be on you. If you're lying down for the night, one presumes that's not someplace their kids will be directly accessing your belongings. In other words: Say goodnight, go to your assigned bedroom/sleeping area, close the door, go to sleep.

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Warp said:

I either do what I normally do, which is set it right next to where I am sleeping in its holster, with the added step of putting my 'real pants' on as soon as I get up so that I can holster up and have it on me at all times.

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I'll have to be honest, these answers are very bothersome. If my friends were that casual with their firearms around my children, I wouldn't let them in my house nor would I expect my friends to let me back in their house if I did the same. When there are young kids in a house (and especially a household that is not familiar with guns or does not know I have one with me) my gun is either on me or locked away. I expect the same from my guests (if I'm not aware they have a firearm). I would never presume that a child won't ever walk into a room in the middle of the night. When you are sleeping, YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL OF YOUR FIREARM. If you're in somebody else's house, YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL OF YOUR ENVIRONMENT. Put those two together with young kids, you have a recipe for disaster. Your comfort level with your kids in your home is your business. Your comfort level with someone else's kids in their home? That's not for you to decide.

Good thing I didn't decide it then.

PS: NoVA Shooter, the word "young" was not used in this thread until your post (#36).

Joespapa said:

I'll bet I'm the only "gun-guy" in the world that has a problem with this. Don't really have a good explanation except that I don't want anyone in my home who thinks they need a gun in my home. Would NEVER walk into friends home carrying.....family is a different matter....not logical I guess, just me.

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So, you figure your home is immune to burglary and home invasion? That your guests are immune to assault and robbery while walking unarmed between your home and their car? Or do you take on personal responsibility for their safety when you force them to disarm? This rather sounds like those people who only carry when they "know" they might need it.

I don't dispute an individual's right to control access to their private property. I have anti gun relatives and I lock my gun in a car vault when I visit. It's their right not to have a gun in their home if that's their wish. I just wanted to point out some of the effects of your no gun policy.

Don't ask don't tell LOL!

Out of sight out of mind... yeah I personally don't have an issue with carry in someone else's house without them knowing it. I wouldn't care at all if someone was lawfully doing them same in my house, and I know while people are different, I choose not to associate myself with folks who would be offended if they somehow found out.

Joespapa said:

I'll bet I'm the only "gun-guy" in the world that has a problem with this. Don't really have a good explanation except that I don't want anyone in my home who thinks they need a gun in my home. Would NEVER walk into friends home carrying.....family is a different matter....not logical I guess, just me.

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What about from the car to your home? Or the bus stop to your home? (That one would mean their home to your home)
Unless you provide a safe means of securing that firearm once in your home, you are also requiring them to be disarmed in those places too.
Most accidents happen holstering/unholstering/loading/unloading. By requiring such you are increasing the risk.
A gun left unattended in a car is at risk of being stolen by a criminal and used in a crime. By requiring your gun carrying friends to do so, you are inviting such an incident.

Really, I see pretty much every viewpoint here.
In my case, it generally comes down to two situations.
It's only me and one or two other people, and we would probably be more surprised if no one was armed.
Or it's me and a dozen or more people, and there are too many people hugging or roughhousing to have anything with metal pressed against me. In this case, it's more than likely that there are enough pocket or table knives, cheap but sharp decorative weapons, solid musical instruments, or plain old bottles around that anything short of a SWAT raid would just result in some defensive form of a football riot.

I generally carry in most friends houses if it's a quick visit. None of them are overly anti, and my gun is always in my holster and out of sight.
I always travel with a Nano safe. I got into that habit when my daughter came along. Also, when visiting my mother in law for the holidays, I had to be mindful of my brother in laws stepsons potentially getting curious. My wife and I slept in a room that was also where the kids would play video games.

Don't really have a good explanation except that I don't want anyone in my home who thinks they need a gun in my home.

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I wish we all we fortunate enough to foresee the future and know whether or not being armed would be necessary. I'd like to think I didn't NEED to be armed anywhere, but Murphy's Law says that the one time you aren't carrying is the one time it will be necessary. I know my friends....but I don't know their maids...their neighbors....their girl/boyfriends, etc.... Just because I dont perceive YOU as a threat doesn't mean I cannot be threatened by something or someone in your domain.

suppose you're visiting a friend for a few days and staying overnight in their house. They have children. What is your course of action?

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Since the gun is normally always on or near my body, it hasn't been an issue. However, I normally bring a spare lockbox with me now, like the ones I have in each vehicle. They're barely larger than a full-size auto. I lock my meds in it, and it's a relatively safe place for the gun if I'm not wearing it.

Warp said:

Good thing I didn't decide it then.

PS: NoVA Shooter, the word "young" was not used in this thread until your post (#36).

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When someone chooses to leave a loaded gun, unsecured, in an environment that is out of their control next to them while they're sleeping with kids around, they have decided, and decided poorly.

Now, you may not have been making a blanket statement about all situations or that you yourself would do so, but even suggesting that it's okay to do so is potentially dangerous and ill-conceived advice that should not go unquestioned.

Also, the question was about kids. Kids come in all ages. Your general statement therefore covers 'young' and 'old' kids and everything in-between. I can't read your mind and assume that your comment was ONLY referring to older kids or kids that have proper instruction/awareness of guns.

mdauben said:

So, you figure your home is immune to burglary and home invasion? That your guests are immune to assault and robbery while walking unarmed between your home and their car? Or do you take on personal responsibility for their safety when you force them to disarm? This rather sounds like those people who only carry when they "know" they might need it.

I don't dispute an individual's right to control access to their private property. I have anti gun relatives and I lock my gun in a car vault when I visit. It's their right not to have a gun in their home if that's their wish. I just wanted to point out some of the effects of your no gun policy.

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Actually I DO take personal responsibility for the safety if any guests in my home . That is the way I was raised.if they don't FEEL safe, they should stay home.

rcmodel said:

Don't ask, Don't tell?

rc

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I just keep quit visit eat and leave.

I am surprised at the folks that struggle with the term "concealed carry". Along with your decision to do so comes the responsibility of keeping your gun out of the hands of anybody else. As adults, we need to figure out a way to do that, just like when in our own homes.

Don't be stupid with a gun, keep it concealed, and unless something really horrible happens nobody will ever know.

And if the absolute worst occurs, I hope they are happy you disregarded their wishes.

i carry in peoples homes all the time. if they do not like it then i will leave and never talk to them again. if they are worried about it then i take that as they are calling me to stupid to handle the gun safely. i am not friends with anyone who is anti-gun. the anti-gun people are to stupid for me to talk to.

I've been legally carrying a gun for forty six years. It's second nature for me to do so yet, inspite of this, I do not carry into another person's home and do not permit anyone to carry into mine.

The only exceptions to this are my sons, whom I trust implicitly.