S&W 500 illegal to CC, don’t know what the laws are in your respective states/city but I have a buddy here in WA that lugs one of those monsters around. I rip on him constantly about how he spends an entire paycheck whenever he goes to the range. defiantly gets my vote for ridiculous.
If the intent is something innocuous, then my suggestion would be a tool of some sort monkey wrench, ball-peen hammer, or socket wrench. Hell one of those cold steal spetsnatz shovels would be nasty as all get out and possibly ok for komiefornia. An easily explainable tool should be ok in most...
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