Heck. The only ammo my local Dick's has had in stock the past two months has been some .380 (which I promptly bought out), some .223, 5.56mm, .40 and .32 ACP. But still no 9mm or .45 ACP.
From a recoil and effective standpoint your two statements are mutually exclusive. Either the rounds are similar in size, recoil and effectiveness or they aren't.
Looking at Federal Premium American Eagle FMJ ammo for both.
A .380 round is roughly 25% less mass (95 grains vs 124 grains)...
Locally, (N.E. Kansas) I'm finding more .380 than anything else. I've picked up over 300 rounds in the past month in .380 and had to leave another 300 rounds on the shelves.
The only other handgun ammo I've seen was 300 rounds of .22LR truncated cone.
I'm also in Kansas, and I've been able to pick up some (20rnds) .380 JHP and (100rnds) .22 truncated cone at Dick's Sporting Goods and 2 x 100 Winchester .380 FMJ at my local Walmart, but it has been very hit or miss.
If you get the chance, hitting your local gun show is a great way for her to get HER hands on a ton on guns. You can then rule out the ones that don't fit her hand, have difficult to operate mag or slide releases or are too hard to rack.
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