Is it rude to ask someone if they are carrying?

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"I really don't think it's rude to ask anything."

When you ask that to the wrong person.....dont be surprised when you regain conciousness.
 
Yeah, take a deep breath -

It's poor sales technique. Nice conversation, things going along, the vendor offers you a holster to try on.

1) you don't micromanage the customer on what article of clothing he needs to take off.

2) if he declines you don't escalate the situation ,,,,
<snip>


I was having trouble figuring out how to write what how I feel..... until I read Tirods reply.



If I decline, I'm a bit 'put off' when/if a sales person wants me to justify my decision.


Call me old fashion but I think its tacky to ask someone what they are wearing underneath their clothes.
 
Like I said, I wasn't really offended by his question.....but it did seem out of place to me......

I also understand why he was asking.....but it seems to me that once I decline ed he should have just ended it.

To me it just seems like a rather personal question to ask someone....my carrying(or lack of carrying) is directly related to my safety.....especially in a crowded place where someone could have overheard.....and at an event where people usually carry a bit of money........it wouldn't be the first time someone wad mugged leaving a gun show.

It's seems to me it would be kind of like asking someone if their house was locked.
 
In many states, if not all states, all weapons must be secured, and concealed carry is not allowed. This may be the reason for the question. If you were breaking the rules, he may not have wanted you at his booth
 
I would say yes it is rude. Even worse is when the acquaintance sweeps your waistline with their hand in search of a gun. I wanted to punch him but just reminded myself that he was an idiot. No cool. :fire:
 
Even worse is when the acquaintance sweeps your waistline with their hand in search of a gun. I wanted to punch him but just reminded myself that he was an idiot. :fire:
You have a lot more restraint than I. Someone who did that to me would be shoved several feet or been on the ground before they knew what happened.

And the sentence "Don't ever touch me again." would be said in a tone that would be unmistakably angry.
 
I think it is rude. Why? Because it is a very personal question. I often try to think of analogies to help explain to some why I think it is rude.

It's kind of like asking someone how much money they make. Actually, I think asking me if I am carrying is more personal than asking if I am wearing boxers or briefs. I have friends I know very well and have known many years who are into firearms and carrying them big time. I will NOT EVER ask them if they are carrying.

I actually spend time thinking about why it is so personal to me (and apparently others). Maybe others can help me gain some insight into that. In the mean time, thank you for not asking me if I am carrying.
 
Hey TruthTellers, What's up with that huge wart on your nose?

Sounded rude to me.

Having got that off my chest, I'm sorry for being rude. Largely I think you are correct.
If you are asking a question that is not demeaning, it's not rude. Are you carrying a gun?
Doesn't sound demeaning to me.
It may not be demeaning, in some circles, but to ask is rude. The reason it's called concealed is just that......so others don't know you're packing. Therefore, it's rude to put someone in a position where they have to A. lie. or B. blow their concealment, or C. tell you that it's none of your friggin' business, making them sound a bit rude (but correct). Just like an earlier post said: "you wouldn't ask someone if they're wearing underwear".
 
It may not be demeaning, in some circles, but to ask is rude. The reason it's called concealed is just that......so others don't know you're packing. Therefore, it's rude to put someone in a position where they have to A. lie. or B. blow their concealment, or C. tell you that it's none of your friggin' business, making them sound a bit rude (but correct). Just like an earlier post said: "you wouldn't ask someone if they're wearing underwear".
D- would be to just ignore the question like you didn't hear it. I've done that when asked stupid questions I wasn't going to answer, just go on to something else.
 
I would never ask anyone that unless we suddenly came under fire and I needed to know if I had any help.
 
I don't like being asked. My GF introduced me to her aunt & uncle a couple weeks ago, at Disneyland of all places. She told them I was a cop. Guess what their first question was...

I gave the vague answer that "I generally carry all the time".

So...what kind of "feedback" did you receive from them? For or against?
 
Sounds rude and sales rep probably didn't have a clue on how to communicate to their potential buyers.
 
I don't know if it's flat out rude, but it is sort of a clueless thing to do.

I have been asked, and for a number of reasons I won't give a straight answer. I usually try to respond with something humorous that doesn't provide any useful information at all.

It IS rude to persist in asking after you've asked once and have been deflected or otherwise been given notice that a straight answer will not be forthcoming.
 
Sounds rude and sales rep probably didn't have a clue on how to communicate to their potential buyers.
I agree with you but something tells me this was probably some older custom holster maker who operates out of his shop and not a firm. I doubt there was a "sales rep" involved.
 
It IS rude to persist in asking after you've asked once and have been deflected or otherwise been given notice that a straight answer will not be forthcoming.
I had to deal with this while on a golf course last weekend. I was playing with a couple of friends and one guy's adult son. The son had a notion to ask me, knowing that I'm a firearms enthusiast. I evaded the question by turning the conversation back to golf. He persisted. One of those guys who doesn't know when to quit. After I stopped and stared at him for a few seconds, his father finally chimed in with a "Quit already" comment. Fortunately, it ended there ... because he was about to get the rudeness lecture.
 
The guy is at a gun show trying to sell holsters (for a gun you might be carrying); what else would he ask?


I tend to agree. In the OP's scenario, the dealer probably was used to folks not wanting to remove their vest/jacket and exposing their CWC weapon. The question probably was meant to keep the conversation/sale going and may have led to the dealer comparing his product to one already being used. The question coming from a stranger on the street tho, would make me wonder what the intentions were.
 
I would have to say in the context of the conversation it could come off as rude. Especially if you do not know the person asking if you are carrying. If he is trying to make a sale. He could word the question, " So when you carry, what position do you holster?" Not flat out ask someone if they are carrying.
 
To my way of thinking, whether or not your carrying is no one elses business. Its poor form to ask. Its akin to asking a person how much money they make. Not directly rude, just none of their business.:scrutiny:
 
"I really don't think it's rude to ask anything."

When you ask that to the wrong person.....dont be surprised when you regain conciousness.

I agree it is rude, but verbal rudeness is never an excuse for physical violence. Aside from a justifiable threat; if you respond to words with violence, don't be surprised if your violence is met by greater violence or a lawsuit.


For the OP, I'd put it as very poor salesmanship in the situation you describe. I'll assume that concealed carry is prohibited by the gunshow promoters (it typically is here) thus leading to his question, but if you aren't interested in stopping to play with his holster, he's gotta accept that. Break eye contact and walk away.

Now, among friends where we already both know the other is most likely carrying, asking what someone is carrying can be perfectly fine if it's on topic.
 
I've had it happen twice.

First time while helping a lady change a flat tire on a mini van. On my back trying to get the tire from underneath the van, she wanted to know if I was a detective? LOL, 70 year old detective!

Second time was open carrying on a hot summer day here in Indiana, fellow asked about open carrying, he was from Florida where its illegal. I explained the Indiana law to him and made a new friend.

Does it both me? Not at all.
 
"I agree it is rude, but verbal rudeness is never an excuse for physical violence. Aside from a justifiable threat; if you respond to words with violence, don't be surprised if your violence is met by greater violence or a lawsuit."

This is the absolute truth!!...but unfortunately...in todays society...too many do..say the wrong things to the wrong people...and violence is the result
 
Looks like I'm the odd man out once again. If someone ever asked me if I was carrying I would take that as an indication that I wasn't doing a very good job of concealing and would probably ask why they asked and respond from there. I just don't see the insult and no you don't need to explain to me why you feel it is an insult. I've already read those posts and still don't get it.

I ran into a rather scantily clad young woman in a sub shop earlier this year who had a rather large rather red Phoenix tattoo with outstretched wings (Ruger logo) just left and a tad below her belly button peaking out above her very low rise jean shorts and a sneaky Pete holster on her right hip. I presumed she was advertising so I asked. She laughed, complimented me on my observation skills and we had a nice chat.

I've seen lots of guys with NRA logos here and there with the ubiquitous "shoot me first" vest. I didn't need to ask and didn't.
 
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...especially if its someone you dont know?

So i was at a gun show today, and i got to chatting with a fellow selling holsters, after a few minutes he hands me a holster and told me to take off my coat and try it on.....well i wasnt terribly interested so i declined, and he says to me "why? are you carrying?"......

and that just struck me as kind of odd......i wasnt what youd call offended....but it just seemed like kind of a rude question to ask someone you dont know...

I haven't been to a gun show yet that didn't have a rule against carrying.

And it's a gun show where you are looking at holsters.

Given the context not rude at all to ask IMO.

"I really don't think it's rude to ask anything."

When you ask that to the wrong person.....dont be surprised when you regain conciousness.

Are you suggesting the lawful concealed carriers would commit an unjustified violent attack on another person because they asked a simple question?

I sincerely hope you would never do or condone such ridiculous actions. I also kind of hope you don't carry.
 
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