I can't really tell much difference in recoil between a good 308 with light bullets and a bad 243 with a heavy bullet and a hot load.
Part of the misery of being beaten up by a gun is the acoustical trauma, the concussion of the muzzle blast.
I didn't always used to be that way. Give me a 416 or a 458. Or even a 338 Win-Mag in a lightweight Husky with a pencil barrel and I was happy as a pig in the proverbial. And I've got the scars in my eyebrow to prove it. Old 3" Nitro shotshells stored in the attic for 40 years ... yeah, they seemed a bit sharp somehow. And badly designed stocks began to take some of the fun out of it.
Then came old age and some changes for me. And here came the popularity of "flash hiders" and muzzle brakes (NOT "breaks"). I detest them. Magnums from a Savage Sriker with a muzzle brake? Even with the best muffs and wax ear plugs, those things hurt my very bones. And I notice everybody gives them a lot of room on the firing line too. I just go up to the clubhouse and read magazines for half an hour. He will be gone by then, but I'm going to shoot for the rest of the day.
I've settled on rifles in the Fireball, Savages, and 30-30 class. The old "thutty-thutty" will kill anything I've ever put crosshairs on, but I've never molested the Great Bears, the Cape Buffalo, or the King of the Kitty Cats. Nor have I "seen the elephant."
The Savage rounds, .300 and .250, and their Improved versions are just fine. More powder = more recoil. More weight of combustion gasses. Conversely, less powder = less recoil, as do lighter bullets.
I'll not perpetuate the common ignorance here by repeating what the gunwriters and gun countermen spread around. They all read the same magazines.
Get a scope with generous eye relief and the thickest, cushiest shotgun sissy-pad you can find, and one of these lighter calibers in a good stock, and life will be better. Now, about that stock ...
Get serious about the stock. Go look at the stuff the skeet, clays, and trap-shooters use. Ask the trap shooters, not the refugee from housewares and appliances standing behind the counter at the gun store. Those old trap shooters have the recoil thing down. They don't just pop a dozen rounds off the bench; they go "200 straight" and they are in fine shape, yukking it up at the clubhouse afterward. And the next day, they do it all over again. And the next, if they have the opportunity. Can you do that with your Stryker pistol in .25 WSSM and a brake?
Their stocks put the recoil straight to the shoulder instead of rotating the comb up into their faces. Their pads are NOT the thin hard Pachmayrs. Look up "Ljutic", (and notice the price!) The combs on their stocks are adjustable to raise their cheekbones above the bore-line, to align their sighting with their elevated ribs (think "scope" and high rings), and they are designed so their recoil pulls the stock away from their cheekbones. That doesn't just happen by accident of fashion; their design is purely intentional. Look at the "Hydro-coil" stocks too. (No, I do not own stock in them.) Got all that? Good.
Now, for your own continuing education, either dig out your Grampaw's Winchester model 37 12-bore, and put a full house load in her. Heck if you don't have a model 37, buy one just for the experience. There is nothing quite like it. They are a great gun; one that you can carry all day long, every day of the season. It's as sweet as a daisy until you have to pull the trigger. With that stock they are worse than a mistreated, ill tempered mule. Worse, because unlike a mule, there is no way to sweet-talk them out of the habit. It does save a lot on ammo though.
With that stock, every time you pull that trigger, something is going to be hurting. It might be fun, but you won't really do much shooting with it. Dead serious now, here's the Call to Manhood. Cancel the temptation to hand that hard-kicker to your wife or children. If you do, you WILL miss the opportunity to cultivate a great shooting buddy in a lifetime of sport. If you pass a hard kicker to someone, you will never know the years of memories you could have made, but missed for a moment of pure meanness.
And you'll never, ever, go "200 straight" with that durned thing, either.