I have a friend with a petite teenage daughter. She shoots a 7-08 with full power loads. She has taken a couple nice muley bucks with it, one at 125 yds, the other at 280. She 'inherited' the rifle from her equally petite mother, who also used it to good effect with full power loads.
One important aspect of recoil sensitivity is proper stock fit. This rifle is a youth-sized stock. A model 70, I think. Both of these ladies have trouble shooting rifles in full sized stocks.
Reduced loads are great for practice and plinking, I use the H4895 reduced loads myself in -06 and .243, but they are not a panacea to fix poor fit. The 7-08 really does not kick very much more than a .243, IMO. It should be easy to shoot by 'most anyone.
I respectfully suggest that if you want a 7-08, buy one to fit yourself, and get your wife a gun that will fit her so that she can learn to shoot it with correct form.