I'm recoil-shy

I find a fatter grip better at spreading the recoil across the width of my palm much better than a narrow grip. Unfortunately most rubber grips are pretty narrow in my hand so often a fat wooden grip is better for me.

I agree 100% or at least that's been my experience. Unless you are shooting something big like a 460 or 500, I've found that proper fitting wood grips are just as recoil absorbing as rubber. I've always wanted a set of "custom built for me" wood grips and I probably piss away more money than the average man, but I can't make myself spend $4-500 for a set of grips.

As some have mentioned the wider the grip the larger the area the recoil is spread over. A second point is that not all rubber grips are made equally. A soft rubber, that feels very good in the hand, and you would think would provide a lot of recoil absorption rarely does. When the guns fires, the frame is taking the momentum transfer from the bullet (ie recoil) and driving in the opposite direction. As it begins it's movement rewards, if the grips are not rigid, the frame accelerates as it compresses the material. A harder rubber will have some give to it, but will shortly begin to recoil with the pistol as the rubber is compressed and now for all intents and purposes rigid on the frame. A soft rubber compresses and compresses as the frame starts moving with some velocity, until it is over compressed and now rock hard at the moment of impact with your hand.

The end result is similar to holding a shotgun or hard kicking centerifle rifle hard in the shoulder, versus loose in the shoulder. The first is a manageable shove, that really doesn't cause discomfort. The latter hurts, often times a lot. There's a reason Pachmeyers and similar grips do well, they have some give to soak up a little energy and provide a minor amount of cushion, but they too soft to where the frame slams into the hand under a layer of rock hard ultra compressed rubber.

This is the same for recoil pads on long guns, but they can be made thick enough to allow for the recoil to not over compress the pad. Pistol grips usually can't.

I had a Charter Arms .357 with Pachmayr Signature grips on it and a Smith M19 with Jordan style grips on it. I enjoyed shooting the Charter more.

I've since gone to Pachmayr's and Hogue's everywhere. I prefer the look of wood but prefer shooting rubber grips.