The Mall Ninja

Status
Not open for further replies.
What? Don't you know I was a 15 year old CIA assasian in Vietnam? I was part of the Phonix project. Honest. I was recruited right out of junior high.

But you know, Gunkid to me made the Mall Ninja look like a stable person. But now, he is in the klink in Oklahoma. Thank the Lord for small wonders.
 
Both these guys were great story tellers. And of course they were not being serious.

That was the best part of the joke, watching some people argue with the guy like he was actually serious.

The ABSOLUTE best parts of the MallNinja threads were the people who took him seriously and tried to lecture him.
 
As much as I enjoyed the Mall Ninja threads, I still like centac's "Coffee Can" more.

Somehow it was just a bit more believable when it came down to honest-to-goodness mall ninjery :D .

Both will live on in internet gun board infamy.
lol.gif
 
As a side note, what does Gordo mean?

:D :D :barf: :D good description.I like hearing mall ninja stuff,the guy that said the above was truly entertaining to say the least.
 
So, for the sake of us new members, Who was gunkid and hwat was centac's coffee can?
 
Gunkid. One of the more controversial figures on the web. I used to sporadically exchange emails with him. He has some radical ideas regarding reloading, suppressors, and post-SHTF survival. John could probably legitimately claim to be the most hated guy on the gunboards. I'll say this much in his defense: Some of the really absurd things you hear attributed to him, like the "assault wheelbarrow," have taken on a life of their own. They are based on things he did say, taken out of context, and then exaggerated through repeated retellings.
 
So, for the sake of us new members, Who was gunkid and hwat was centac's coffee can?

Gunkid was the king of trolls on the gun boards. Do a web search, or search this board, and you'll find lots of good stuff. I believe he is in prison presently, and he was big on suppressors, silenced 22LR as a defensive firearm, and moving all his gear in a wheelbarrow if the fit hit the shan.

I don't know what centac's coffee can is, so someone pipe in if you do.
 
It was a little while back, but from what I recall, centac was a cop who claimed in an L&P thread on search and siezure that anyone with a coffee can in their car was using it to store drugs or drug paraphernalia, and that that possession of such a diabolical container was probable cause for a search of the vehicle.
 
Chris Farley would make an awesome mall ninja.
I could do it. Of course, I'll have to bulk up for the role, as I am an actual, trained permit holder and keep myself in peak physical condition so that I can defend my community from gang-bangers and terrorists. I'll have to take fewer patrols if I'm to lose weight, but hopefully the local LE will be able to keep things in order without me.
 
Gunkid was the king of trolls on the gun boards. Do a web search, or search this board, and you'll find lots of good stuff. I believe he is in prison presently, and he was big on suppressors, silenced 22LR as a defensive firearm, and moving all his gear in a wheelbarrow if the fit hit the shan.

I don't know what centac's coffee can is, so someone pipe in if you do.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but Gunkid's survival plan included turning his "tactical wheelbarrow" over in the Mississippi river and sniping people on the banks with a suppressed .22lr AR from under neath the wheelbarrow as he and it floated down the river. What a loon. :D
 
Correct me if I'm wrong, but Gunkid's survival plan included turning his "tactical wheelbarrow" over in the Mississippi river and sniping people on the banks with a suppressed .22lr AR from under neath the wheelbarrow as he and it floated down the river.

Okay, you're partly wrong. Briefly, the story of the "assault wheelbarrow" was this: Over at Hard Core Talk, in one of its earlier incarnations, John was in one of his many pissing contests with one of the riot nerds who made up the majority of the membership there. The riot nerd was nattering about defending his impregnable house with his Finger-of-God M1-A. Like many riot nerds, he claimed to live in a virtual fortress atop a hill surrounded by hundreds of yards of coverless open country. John's reply was that, if nothing else, he could pretty quickly weld up a moveable piece of cover on a wheelbarrow using stuff commonly found on farms. Not the greatest idea ever, but not the "assault wheelbarrow" that his many detractors have blown it into.
The floating down the river part is more or less correct. John is a big advocate of travelling post-SHTF by river, at night, using an inflatable. Use of the suppressed .22 was also one of his signature bits.
John seems to have a split personality of sorts. His email exchanges with me were always perfectly reasonable in tone and content; completely unlike his often wild-eyed and raving on-line persona. The last I talked with him, over a year ago, his main interests seemed to be focused on things like non-hybrid seeds, wild medicinal herbs, and other TEOTWAWKI subsistance farming/foraging topics.
 
Eleven Mike:

I dont know if you are tactical enough. I mean six glocks? That is very tactical.
Oh, please. If tactical means multiple NDs. I carry a PRE-LOCK, pinned and recessed 10mm S&W revo and a Detective's Special as a BUG. I don't miss and don't waste shots, so reloads are unnecessary.

Edit: I fear I didn't lay on enough satire in this bit - it is my pathetic attempt to create a new kind of gun-toting doofus, who's polar opposite from the mall ninja type, but ends up being just as laughable.
 
Last edited:
One of the more controversial figures on the web. I used to sporadically exchange emails with him. He has some radical ideas regarding reloading, suppressors, and post-SHTF survival. John could probably legitimately claim to be the most hated guy on the gunboards. I'll say this much in his defense: Some of the really absurd things you hear attributed to him, like the "assault wheelbarrow," have taken on a life of their own. They are based on things he did say, taken out of context, and then exaggerated through repeated retellings.

Didn't GunKid get arrested recently, Something stupid like Tax evasion:confused: and when the authorities arrested he had a load of weapons on him? Oh an wasn't he like in his 50's
 
Yeah, he was arrested last June. My linky above is to his mugshot. As I understand it, he was in possession of a buttload of guns and ammunition, as well as some gold, that he allegedly stole from his wife.
 
Yep joe...here goes the story from another gun forum ...credit to Campy Bob..

another delusional militia wacko is arrested and will be out of circulation.

http://www.black-rifles.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=12894

http://newsok.com/article/1881634

Thursday, July 06, 2006
Goodbye Gunkid
Perhaps the most infamous troll of the internet gun world, a true Ferrous Cranus, is being held in jail without bail and faces a complaint of possession of ammunition after a prior felony conviction. According to a federal detention order, John Melvin Davis, AKA Gunkid has past convictions on eight federal offenses and received five separate sentences totaling more than 20 years in prison. Gunkid is suspected of stashing stolen weapons and almost 11,000 bullets stolen from his estranged wife in a Norman, Oklahoma storage unit. He is now is being held in the Oklahoma County jail on a federal complaint, officials said. Bob Troester, a spokesman for the U.S. attorney's office in Oklahoma City, said Davis is likely to face more than the ammunition complaint. He said his office will seek an indictment within 30 days. Gunkid's estranged wife informed the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms that Davis had broken into her Colorado storage unit and stolen "several assault rifles, hand guns, some gold, silver and other ... items." She said Davis had at least eight aliases. Meanwhile, Davis was shacking up with a woman in Oklahoma. She informed officials that Davis made "numerous comments" about not going back to prison, claiming he would "disrupt the economy by poisoning the water supply and knocking out the communication system." The woman also said Davis, who has lived in Oklahoma for only a few months, had begun having packages shipped to her address, including a box of incomplete firearms frames that he planned to sell with directions on how to convert them into functioning weapons.

On June 19, agents raided Davis' mobile house in Oklahoma. Davis was detained after entering a van, and a .22 caliber pistol and several rounds of ammunition were recovered from a canvas bag he'd been carrying. Agents later searched the Norman storage unit and seized a 9 millimeter pistol, a .22 caliber pistol, a .45 caliber pistol, a .223 caliber rifle, a Colt pistol, possible silencers, gun parts and more than 10,900 bullets of various calibers.

John Melvin Davis is well known among internet gunnies as Gunkid, Hardin, Andy, and a hundred other pseudonyms he would use to disrupt gun forums. Gunkid was the inventor of the assault wheelbarrow, the advocate of a "debarked" Chihuahua as an alarm system, and a .223 fired from a 10" barrel as the ultimate weapon, which he claimed was useful up to 300yds, but only when used with a suppressor because Gunkid had a severe flinch when shooting without one. He liked to allude to his magnificent IPSC shooting career. There are no records of his exploits. However, there are complete records of other competitors scores, shot in the time frame he claims to have been a competitor.

Almost every internet gunnie can remember when they first crossed paths with the irrational John Davis, no matter what the subject or where the forum was located. I certainly remember him totally destroying an otherwise great forum that I helped establish years ago. Moderators of well established forums invested much time in recognizing Gunkid when he resurfaced among their members with another name. Regardless of the name he chose, his posts were instantly recognizable for their irrational thought process, capitalization of words that made no sense, and extreme hostility towards any challenge to his delusional knowledge. These were unwavering themes in Gunkid's postings.

So how do we know that John Davis is Gunkid? Like the boogyman, Gunkid is almost a legend that makes one think he cannot die. Gunkid has been tracked across the internet for several years by cyberspace bounty hunters. For some, it was sport. For others, it was a mission. For a few, it is almost depressing that the chase has ended. One thing is certain, John Melvin Davis is Gunkid. There were people who knew exactly who he was, and tried to get him stopped long before he was apprehended by the feds.

Good bye Gunkid, you slimy piece of crap. Good riddance. I hope you get a real nice cellmate.
 
Those Mall Ninji are so cool......

...that I may start telling people that I really am an ex-Mall Ninja. But the details are classified, can't tell you anything, and several court proceedings might result in the perps going free if I told about my exploits.

Bart Noir
Yes, the gas mask is bulky but well worth it.
 
Need help from the salty members of the board

I've got a tech question here, directed only to the genuine operators with boots-on-deck experience. If you're a wannabee, keyboard kommando, or Counterstrike-kiddie, just shut up, listen up, and start learning.

I'll fill you in with a little S2 brief before I get to my question. I'm the CO of a Client Retention / Tactical Loss Prevention response unit at an extremely well-known Upper Midwestern retail location. The corporation which employs us is a household name in the Upper Midwest, and has substantial assets which require constant professional vigilance.

My elite 12-man squad is kitted out with the standards: WileyX/RR5.11/USKeds/Fox/Sebenza, etc. Our primary sidearm is the Heckler und Koch Mark 23 pistol, specifically customized for the unique needs of our mission. I'd love to explain these upgrades for you pro-tech guys out there, but H&K made us sign a confidentiality statement to maintain their trade secrets. It was a give-give situation though; they detached us a full-time H&K armorer to maintain our gear. The operational use and rough training was necessitating our shipping the pistols back to H&K every few months, so this saved time and money for everyone involved. If you've ever worked with H&K's "Special Projects" division, you'll recognize our armorer! He keeps a low profile at a certain vendor cart near the Jamba Juice (hint: those aren't really cellphone accessories...)

Our current go-to rifle for when we "go tactical" is the DSB FAL. I know the civvie nancyboys rave about these online, but my crew is soliciting bids to switch to a better product. They're not bad for plinking and games, but are unsatisfactory for our purposes for several reasons:

1) The lowers are often out of spec, causing fit problems when we mount our PAPCO folding stocks.

2) The FAL design is not sufficiently reliable in the rough environmental stresses we face. Those of you who've lived in the Upper Midwest AO know what I'm talking about! The wX gets ridiculous during our LRRPs of the POV staging lots adjoining the retail operations center, and even more so when we transit to our Motor Pool after liberty-call.

3) The pogues at the DSB front office flat-out refused to upgrade our FALs to the 14" barrel and 5-round burst! We requested on official task-force letterhead, and they sent back some legal-beagle paper-pusher excuse. They simply DO NOT stand behind their product!

In any case, that gives you the overall grasp of our Sit. I hate to leave so much unsaid, but OPSEC...

That said, I've chosen a Bryco as my BUG and "covert ops" carry. Can I buy the Walther PPK Lazer-Trayz laser grips off of eBag and modify them to fit, or should I just use the laser off of my licensed-copy Airsoft FAMAS?
 
Lonestar, thank you for information relating to the end of Gunkid....I had sorta wondered what the deal was with that. I kinda miss said "slimy piece of crap".....his threads were so amusing to read. The tactical floating wheelbarrow was very amusing, though.

CENTAC'S COFFEE CAN: IIRC, he claimed to be a former LEO, and that whenever he would stop a suspect with a coffee can in their car, he would arrest them for drug posession. Either the coffee, or the sweetener stuff, or something, he claimed it was easy to hide drugs in, mixed.

Which is why I never travel without a coffee can, in case Centac is CCWing, and protecting the streets of the sheeple :rolleyes:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top