**Need help. Very IMPORTANT, Involves rape***

1. She needs to get to a clinic/hospital ASAP.

2. The detectives need to do a full investigation.

3. She (probably) needs therapy.

You need to make sure #1 through #3 occur. It will likely necessitate you visiting her for a while.

Get home and get her to a hospital fast. She will need lots of support.

She needs to be seen at a hospital immediately. They will have better rape evidence and treatment ability.
When you say that the police can't do anything, is that because she isn't cooperating? And I do not mean that in an accusatory manner. She is traumatized, she needs help in order to help the police. You need to get to her pronto.

And, no, you are not going to do anything to "bring justice". You will end up in jail before the rapist.
Help her.
Help her help the police.

Yes, hospital is top priority. All of them should have a rape kit they use on victims. This could give evidence to help in the investigation.

I have been through nearly this exact thing. Just be there for her and always be supportive - even if she seems to want unreasonable things. Don't ever doubt her story, tell her you do, or put up with anyone who does (you'd be amazed at how skeptical and uncaring some fools can be when a girl says she has been raped - and this doubt undermines her own sense of dignity and self even more, and is detrimental to how she recovers from the trauma). It will affect her for a long time. Just be there for her.

It is important to find support.

Ask the behavioral branch of the local hospital for suggestions of support groups for such a crisis. In times of crisis it is important to be surrounded by people who understand the nature of the trauma.

Might be worth a follow up to groups such as AA or Al-Anon. I would imagine such a significant event could lead to complete sobriety at all times.

God or your Higher Power never gives you more than you can take. I was fortunate as a young man to have been put into a situation which made me swear to sobriety. It took many more years later to find the correct support for my life.

Considering the nature of our hobby here, it would behoove all of us to stay sharp as a tack at all times. It is the only way we can possibly help one another.

God bless you, yours, and THR.

Like they all said.

Be there for her. Be strong for her. Be her voice of support, sanity, and reason. Be there for and with her as much as she wants you to.

Understand that she may not want you with her all the time and that uncontrolled crying and fear are normal. Don't feel that you have to fix everything. That's what we men do, and its not always the best course. Some things can only be fixed with time.

The best thing you can do is to show he ethat you care and are ready to do whatever she needs you to do.

Forget the vigilante ideas. That only works in movies and in real life would only end up with your a$$ in jail. If you do somehow find out who did it, that information would be very helpful to the police.

Put down the 'puter, pick up the car keys

Drive your but to Houston! The girl needs you right now!

Sort the rest out once you get there.

Good luck buddy.

Get to houston post haste. My fiancie's father passed away right after thanksgiving last november. Michigan Tech made sure she was excused from classes but told me I was not justified in missing class to go home with her. I made the desicion to go anyway and I don't regret that at all, even though I failed 2 classes. Family comes first.

Hospital, yes, QUICKLY.

Their "rape kit" generally includes stuff like, well...to take samples for pathogen tests and DNA evidence, then to try to flush and sterilize the area as best as possible, in case the rapist was carrying something. It also includes a morning-after pill to make sure there's no chance of fertilization/pregnancy.

Also counseling, and all that, which is VERY important. And stay with her.

If you are not already in transit, remember she is not at fault. She is a real victim. She did nothing wrong. Any man to drug a girl in order to do this is not much of a man. She needs you and your understanding now more than ever. All the advice given so far is great, the hospital, detectives, and use an experienced rape counsilor. The rape counsilor can help you to. You need to understand what she is going through. Remember to that her recovery is on her timeframe not yours or anyone else's. Our prayers are with both of you.

I know it's been said before, but...

Hospital ASAP!
DNA sample for the record.
Blood HIV/STDs test, just to be sure.
Plan B pill.

the hospital should provide her with rape counseling, this is very good. tell her not to take a shower, until a kit is taken. go to the club , and ask her friends. ask the club workers, with a picture of her, did they notice any guy with her, or watching her? Describe him. then , anything you find, shove it in the police' face. They have to do more than they have at this point, they are giving this no priority, because it happens so much on big liberal college campuses.

Be there for her. But you'll need to be aware that she is likely going to be seriously leary about being touched by any male at this point. Be VERY counscious of her body language if you want to hug her or make any kind of physical contact. If she looks leary or reserved BACK OFF IMMEDIATELY, and make sure she understands why you are doing so.
Really, make damn sure you are available for her when she feels the need to "unburden" herself. Sooner or later, she's going to be second guessing herself and what happened. When this happens, and it sounds like she's started already, she is going to wind up deciding that somehow it was HER fault that the rape occured. Your job at this point is basically to listen first, then make sure that she knows that YOU know it wasn't her fault.

I think there is something wrong here.. Instead of this person knowing right from wrong - he comes on a gun forum to ask for help.

What did this person hope to gain by this? Probably wanted some red neck with his gun to come over and shoot this assailant (sp).

With the years of experience that I have working in bars as a bouncer in a college town. I can tell you that women do not travel alone. They travel in flocks - like turkeys. In order to call in a turkey, you have to be able to break up the flock. No bunch of women is going to let one of their friends go off with some weirdo - unless they think that he is safe and their friend is safe. It's just the way that it works...

Maybe the police found her story to be unbelieveable.

Until our society changes, and our women folk start acting like ladies. We are going to keep seeing more and more of this.. The females now a days dressing up like whores and prostitutes. That dog don't hunt where I come from. Cover your azz and your breasts and start wearing clothes more appropriate.

The chances of some weirdo slipping her something in her drink is .0002 percent of a chance in 1 million. More than likely the reason why she doesn't want to go to a hospital is because if you gave her a blood test - you will find more in her system than what she is telling.

My other question is - where is the parents at? Why were they not called?
There isn't a real parent in the whole world that would treat their children differently, if their child was raped. All they would care about would be that their child was ok and they would want to love them and take care of them and protect them.
They wouldn't look down on their children because someone physically assaulted them or harmed them - unless they were doing something that they shouldn't have been doing in the first place..

How many times did your parents say to you " I told you not to do this"
I told you so only works sometimes after you find out for yourself that it didn't work in the first place..

Call her parents to come and pick her up. Get her lot's of psychological help and counseling and hope that it never happens again.

***? Are you questioning him/her?


It's people like you that make women not want to report things like this.

The answers to all your questions is YES, and do them NOW!

I will tell you...reporting rape is very trumatic to the woman. The cops are going to be asking if it was consenual (and since she was at a bar....it'll be tougher). You know her...is she up to that?
Date rape drugs are fairly common place. Even valium is enough to relax someone's inhibitions.
Most importantly...call the cops and be there for her!

Good luck to you both!

I'm closing this rather than deleting it.

I did delete some posts.

If yours was one of them: you are on thin ice.

On THR, we do not advocate illegal activities. Nor do we attack other posters.

pax