lanternlad1
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- Joined
- Apr 14, 2007
- Messages
- 770
You have memorized BOTH the Anarchist Cookbook AND the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.
You Know You're a Mall Ninja If...
- Thread starter Geronimo45
- Start date
- Status
SoCalShooter
Member
re:Lupinus
YOu know your a mall ninja when you post this.
YOu know your a mall ninja when you post this.
PercyShelley
Member
- Joined
- Feb 15, 2007
- Messages
- 1,075
Lahti 20mm anti tank rifle.
You'll need thicker trauma plates duct taped on for one of those.
pdowg881
Member
I think someone needs to post a picture of these 5.11 pants. It's the third most talked about item on this forum besides 1911's and 870's.
lee n. field
Member
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2002
- Messages
- 4,311
Doesn't everyone?
BADUNAME13
Member
http://www.lapolicegear.com/5tapa.html
I've got a couple pairs... but I only wear them when I go to the range, all my jeans are dirty, or when I used to ride the Ambulance...
I've got a couple pairs... but I only wear them when I go to the range, all my jeans are dirty, or when I used to ride the Ambulance...
Dixie_Amazon
Member
Visual Aides
this is the funniest post I've ever seen!
I'd like to add that I own a set of tactical steak knives. They have black handles and made of rust-proof stainless steel. I've glued lead wheel weights to them to increase balance for long distance throwing situations.
I'd like to add that I own a set of tactical steak knives. They have black handles and made of rust-proof stainless steel. I've glued lead wheel weights to them to increase balance for long distance throwing situations.
Mall Nijas
Can be spotted and identified merely by " that look " on their faces.
They seem to be angry-young-men who are also highly suspecious of everything and everybody.Plus they seem to be overly anxious and geetery.
They never,ever smile,and are always pissed-off,even if there's nothing to be pissed-off about.They are deffently some sort of a subculture offshoot of a cultish nature and status.I.M.H.O.......they really offer no threat to society whatsoever.They are more dangerous to themselves, than to anybody else.They adore and worship " Jack Bauer " from 24.And they know everything there is to know about SWAT Teams,weapons,knives,guns,optics,surveilance,and the Martial Arts.
The " Lone Wolf with Cub " is their favorite series of movies,and they are able to recite word-for-word many of the sword fight scene dialogues.
Yes....it's true,you can spot the average Mall Nija comeing from a-mile-away....
P.S. It would be hillarious if Hollywood could get a hold of this thread and make like a " National Lampoon " movie from it.Perhaps somebody like Sasha Baron Cohen,[Borat],or Mike Myers could play the part of the Mall Nija defending it from all " clicks " of groups and gangs of teenagers that " Hang-Out " at the local malls all the time .....?
Can be spotted and identified merely by " that look " on their faces.
They seem to be angry-young-men who are also highly suspecious of everything and everybody.Plus they seem to be overly anxious and geetery.
They never,ever smile,and are always pissed-off,even if there's nothing to be pissed-off about.They are deffently some sort of a subculture offshoot of a cultish nature and status.I.M.H.O.......they really offer no threat to society whatsoever.They are more dangerous to themselves, than to anybody else.They adore and worship " Jack Bauer " from 24.And they know everything there is to know about SWAT Teams,weapons,knives,guns,optics,surveilance,and the Martial Arts.
The " Lone Wolf with Cub " is their favorite series of movies,and they are able to recite word-for-word many of the sword fight scene dialogues.
Yes....it's true,you can spot the average Mall Nija comeing from a-mile-away....
P.S. It would be hillarious if Hollywood could get a hold of this thread and make like a " National Lampoon " movie from it.Perhaps somebody like Sasha Baron Cohen,[Borat],or Mike Myers could play the part of the Mall Nija defending it from all " clicks " of groups and gangs of teenagers that " Hang-Out " at the local malls all the time .....?
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sm
member
...your last orgasm was from reading the Sale Ad from the Box Store, and seeing sale prices on : Wheelbarrows, Duct Tape, Gorilla Glue, Black Fabric, Imitation Badges,..
MrPeter
Member
Hey now, let's not get personal here. I could make fun of your bible too.Lebben-B said:
A Mall Nija's idea of a Porn. movie is
" 28 Weeks Later ".
P.S. Just saw this flick yesterday.
It is an AWESOME movie and i highly recommend it to everybody,especially all you Mall Nijas out there.
Great Sniper scenes .
Zombies Rule !
" 28 Weeks Later ".
P.S. Just saw this flick yesterday.
It is an AWESOME movie and i highly recommend it to everybody,especially all you Mall Nijas out there.
Great Sniper scenes .
Zombies Rule !
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ForeignDude
Member
- Joined
- Mar 22, 2006
- Messages
- 133
This Is Hilarious!!!!
I just about busted a gut reading this thread. Keep 'em coming!
I just about busted a gut reading this thread. Keep 'em coming!
TonyStarks
Member
......you purchased a solar powered flashlight from Sharper Image..."just in case"
jerkyman45
Member
Somebody should put out a You might be a mall ninja if... calandar or something. I am sitting here at my computer laughing hysterically, I love these threads.
You might be a mall ninja if...
You have put serious thought into making a tactical assault wheelbarrow.
Your AR holds more flashlights then cartridges.
You can cut a steak with the bayonet you duct taped to your Remington 870.
You have mastered the lost art of Ninjitsu.
You are a mall security guard and feel the need to carry more ammo than Rambo because of those shifty preteen mall rats.
You might be a mall ninja if...
You have put serious thought into making a tactical assault wheelbarrow.
Your AR holds more flashlights then cartridges.
You can cut a steak with the bayonet you duct taped to your Remington 870.
You have mastered the lost art of Ninjitsu.
You are a mall security guard and feel the need to carry more ammo than Rambo because of those shifty preteen mall rats.
sm
member
"We gonna need more ceramic plates!!!!"
I know two things for sure that will defeat a Mall Ninja.
1. Donald Southerland as his Character in Kelly's Heros with his tank.
2. Blues Bros in their auctioned purchased old police squad car on a "Misson from God".
Either one let loose in a Mall.
I know two things for sure that will defeat a Mall Ninja.
1. Donald Southerland as his Character in Kelly's Heros with his tank.
2. Blues Bros in their auctioned purchased old police squad car on a "Misson from God".
Either one let loose in a Mall.
Two Cold Soakers
Member
You might be a mall ninja if..
...having someone rip ducttape off your back is your idea of training.
...having someone rip ducttape off your back is your idea of training.
evan price
Member
Your AR has more crap on it than Batman's utility belt.
You know where every place to buy ammo is in a twelve-block radius. Plus anyplace that sells those jumbo burritos as big as your head. AND you have your GPS set up to plot the easiest path that takes you to all of them. In one trip.
You have one of those mail-order nifty Official CCW badges.
You spit shine your boots by spitting on them, because you haven't been able to touch your feet in years.
You know where every place to buy ammo is in a twelve-block radius. Plus anyplace that sells those jumbo burritos as big as your head. AND you have your GPS set up to plot the easiest path that takes you to all of them. In one trip.
You have one of those mail-order nifty Official CCW badges.
You spit shine your boots by spitting on them, because you haven't been able to touch your feet in years.
As a Mall Nija,
your " Command Center of Operations " is the mall's Public Men's Room.
This is an ideal place because by going there,you draw no suspicion whatsoever from the hordes of yet-uninfected,but soon to be,teenage Zombies.Once these pepubic,hormon-rageing,bratz',become infected,they will be raceing and charging around screaming," Beer,Beer,more Beer !!! ",those that are really ,really gone,will be milling about the ipod stands and the Verizon Cell Phone Shops.
But wait !
Inside your " Command Center " you have strategically placed many clips of spare Sig .357 and 10MM ammo. inside all of the toilet water tanks! Held in place by Tactical Duct Tape !
In the cieling you have cases upon cases of Energy Bars and Gator Aid,orange flavored,of course,in case you must baragaid yourself from the mindless Zombie Teenie Bobbers that have to take a piss !
A Mall Nija's motto is " Always be prepared,you can never have enough of Tactical Duct Tape on hand ! "
your " Command Center of Operations " is the mall's Public Men's Room.
This is an ideal place because by going there,you draw no suspicion whatsoever from the hordes of yet-uninfected,but soon to be,teenage Zombies.Once these pepubic,hormon-rageing,bratz',become infected,they will be raceing and charging around screaming," Beer,Beer,more Beer !!! ",those that are really ,really gone,will be milling about the ipod stands and the Verizon Cell Phone Shops.
But wait !
Inside your " Command Center " you have strategically placed many clips of spare Sig .357 and 10MM ammo. inside all of the toilet water tanks! Held in place by Tactical Duct Tape !
In the cieling you have cases upon cases of Energy Bars and Gator Aid,orange flavored,of course,in case you must baragaid yourself from the mindless Zombie Teenie Bobbers that have to take a piss !
A Mall Nija's motto is " Always be prepared,you can never have enough of Tactical Duct Tape on hand ! "
NCLivingBrit
Member
Hey now, those things are -great- for scratching between your shoulderblades when you're wearing you Sooper Sikret Level XVIII tactical armour (duct tape and fusion power cell included)!
30 cal slob
Member
...this thread pisses you off?
qajaq59
Member
You're a Mall Ninja if......
you even know what the heck a Mall Ninja is.
you even know what the heck a Mall Ninja is.
ATW525
Member
You might be a mall ninja if you find yourself in the men's room drawing your radio from your duty belt and pointing the antenna at the mirror while reciting misquoted Travis Bickle lines from Taxi Driver.
You might be a mall ninja if you spend significant time in the food court of the local shopping mall with the people you delusionally believe are your friends, and you rant about how Mall Security is going to be sorry for laughing you out of the office at your job interview. After all, your question about the application of deadly force to prevent the escape of fleeing shop lifters was perfectly valid.
You might be a mall ninja if you spend the majority of your shift seated on the can with the latest H&K Law Enforcement Catalog and tube of KY jelly.
You might be a mall ninja if you've ever tried to convince teenage girls that mall security has the authority to conduct random strip searches for contraband.
You might be a mall ninja if you've ever fantasized about heroically saving the mall from terrorist attack in true John McClane fashion, while in reality you were still trying to catch your breath after riding the escalator to the second level.
You might be a mall ninja if you've ever had to ask somebody to leave the mall because they were laughing at you.
You might be a mall ninja if management has ever asked you to leave because other people were laughing at you.
You might be a mall ninja if you've ever expressed your desire for a tactical response team on a mall comment card.
You might be a mall ninja if you spend significant time in the food court of the local shopping mall with the people you delusionally believe are your friends, and you rant about how Mall Security is going to be sorry for laughing you out of the office at your job interview. After all, your question about the application of deadly force to prevent the escape of fleeing shop lifters was perfectly valid.
You might be a mall ninja if you spend the majority of your shift seated on the can with the latest H&K Law Enforcement Catalog and tube of KY jelly.
You might be a mall ninja if you've ever tried to convince teenage girls that mall security has the authority to conduct random strip searches for contraband.
You might be a mall ninja if you've ever fantasized about heroically saving the mall from terrorist attack in true John McClane fashion, while in reality you were still trying to catch your breath after riding the escalator to the second level.
You might be a mall ninja if you've ever had to ask somebody to leave the mall because they were laughing at you.
You might be a mall ninja if management has ever asked you to leave because other people were laughing at you.
You might be a mall ninja if you've ever expressed your desire for a tactical response team on a mall comment card.
NCLivingBrit
Member
Unless it's from the guy firing the S&W 500 in the stand next to you and all you have is your standard hearing protection on. Although I reckon one slow hit from that thing would smart some too......
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