how about comedy?
Ok this is when I was very young up in Oregon around a place called Crooked River Ranch, now mind you that this area it is NOT legal to hunt, and to top it off we were on the river, also a big no no.
Now when I say "on the river" I mean "ON the river". I am not talking on the river in a boat, skiff, or any other "approved" flotation device.
As it happens we experienced one of the warmest hunting days in years and it was shorts and tank top weather (that's quite unusual for there anytime) much less swimming weather.
So we start off with the three of us heading out to the river, one of us had an Eastern Oregon bow tag, the other another tag out of area. Now not one of us had a bow, or a legal tag between us but "oh well" says we. We were determined to get out deer! So as we head down to the river and start to climb in our "boats" and by this you must get a visual, one was a rubber ducky raft (no chit), one was a pool raft (the kind you blow up and lay on to get a tan) and the other was a kids miniature dingy (also inflatable) that held barely one person.
So off we go! As we are climbing into the river with our rifles (30-30, .308, .22lr) there comes across a couple of the local residents who stop on the road on a bridge that we had just climbed down from to the river and yells down "do you have to have a fishin license for that too?" In a very sarcastic manner while laughing themselves silly.
So begins our adventure. Well, shortly after bouncing off a few rocks they "flotation devices" start losing air fast and we are going down a swift river and sinking rapidly. After the rubber ducky had given is life and sank to the depths below we then tried to grasp on to the larger raft while the tanning one was quickly giving up it's life. Within minutes all the rafts had sunk and we were floating down the river holding our rifles above the water bouncing repeatedly off rocks and such as we go.
We quickly come to the conclusion that this is no way to hunt deer and need to find the high ground quick. There is a problem though, the banks of the river are lined with the thickest, most densely packed barbed brush you can think of.
After a mile or so and getting tired of white water swimming we decided that we had to get out. So we climb out on a little place that had about a foot of bare ground and decide what to do. Just as we reach the bank my buddy who also happens to be blind in one eye decides he sees a spike and wants the meat. BOOM! Goes the .308 as we both wheel around and ask him *** he is shootin at and explain that he just winged a spike across the river.
The other two of us look at him in a very po'ed manner and say are you going to track that "expletive" thing through the death brush? Well you are now! So we made him go track the deer across the river and after about 45 minutes or so he comes back and says he thinks he knicked it in the rear leg but there was no way to track it. We are quite unhappy as to him not placing his shot right but hey then again he is blind shooting off his weak side soo what are you going to do right? Now you have to realize that when he came back he looked like he got into a fight with a pack of badgers in a bad way.
He was literally dripping blood, there were so many scratches and so much blood that he looked like he had been drug behind a truck on asphalt and left for dead.
He was darn near crying he was in so much pain and we decided at that point we needed to get him some medical attention. But first, we are on the river with about a 300-400 ft hike straight up the walls and have to transgress about a hundred feet of this death brush before we even get there. So by the time we even make it to the wall we have lost the majority of our clothes and are bloodied beyond belief. It now looks like we are escaped convicts that just left a mass murder.
We somehow, still to this day I don't know how, managed to make up up the almost sheer rock walls to a plateau above. As we climb up on the top and sit to rest we look across an open alfalfa field and see what looks like about 200 head of deer!
OMG we say all at once. My buddy with the .308 looks through his scope and tried to isolate a buck, and after about 10 minutes says all be d4mned there aint a buck in the whole friggin heard!
We all can't believe this and hang our head in shame as the god's are just not favoring us today. We manage to limp back to the truck bleeding all the way climb in the old 66 chevy and head for home.
Now within about 2 miles of us leaving there is a what we believe to be a HUGE 8 point buck standing off about a 50 yards from someones house right next to the road
We all look at one another as we pass and say oh hell with it! We whip a u-turn up the road about another quarter mile and come back, and low and behold there is a man standing in the middle of the road with his hand out motioning us to stop.
He then says "I saw you kids staring down my buck and I suggest you leave" we that just tops it! Then lightning quick, my buddy with the .308 whips his rifle out and pops that big ole buck right between the eyes, you should have seen the look on that old codger!
Now you are most likely thinking BS and you are absolutely right! All but the very last sentence is true.