Dear Abby Get Real

BEST part of the whole thing:

I just found out that my husband recently bought a handgun and hid it from me! His reason? "I wanted one." Needless to say, I am furious.

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Denial is funny. She is actually SURPRISED that he hid it from her. lolz

Then the stupid b**** "abby" tells her "your husband should have had enough respect for your feelings to discuss it with you so some ground rules could be established." Hey "abby," you mindless twit, HE TRIED THAT FOR THREE DECADES! The childish whiner who sent you the letter, who you think is so innocent, REFUSED TO NEGOTIATE OR EVEN LISTEN.

All that being said, I'm mad at this guy for not doing this sooner. So is he probably

One thing to be aware of is that both of those "advice" columns get their "advice" wrong ON PURPOSE, in order to generate more letters and hence more columns.

pbearperry said:

Something about this thread really opened up my eyes.I now know why we as a group cannot ever make any headway regarding attacks on our rights.It's because we never seem to stop attacking eachother over the smallest things.I wish we had this passion against the Antis.
No matter what statements someone makes,it ends up a huge argument about what do you mean by that?Oh well.Me thinks we all need to grow thicker skins.

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Realistically, people within the pro-gun community are not always going to agree with one another on any set of issues, any more than any given group of people will agree just because they share a single characteristic. People take a lot of different paths to arrive at their feelings and attitudes about firearms. I don't think it weakens the resolve of the RKBA community to fight for our rights if we sometimes argue over things like how to react if a family member is strongly against firearms.

And, yeah, people here argue a lot ... but these issues are contentious. If we all agreed, there wouldn't be any need for a forum, because everything would be clear already. So, as long as we keep it civil, I think it can be productive.

He really lost this particular battle 34 or 35 years ago.

I was on a first date with a young lady. Strangely enough the subject of guns came up while we were talking on the way to a supper club. She made the comment,"No one will ever bring a firearm into my home." My immediate response was,"Then I'll never cross the threshold of your door." I spoke calmly with a normal tone of voice. The subject changed.

We ate supper and danced for a while. I'm sure she could feel the gun on my right hip during the slow dances.

When I took her home, she invited me in for coffee. I told her that I was armed and would always be armed. She told me to come in anyway. We dated for a few months. When we parted, it wasn't because of guns. Subject never came up again, and several of my guns spent a good bit of time in her house. If a family member-any family member-chooses not to allow guns into their home then that means they choose not to have me in their homes. There is no argument. I simply tell them that it is their right to make that choice, that I respect their right. Then I turn around and leave.

It is anyone's right to set the rules in their house. It is my right to choose not to associate with them. No discussion. No argument. No negotiation. I have no problem whatever with hitting the highway.

When I took her home, she invited me in for coffee. I told her that I was armed and would always be armed. She told me to come in anyway. We dated for a few months. When we parted, it wasn't because of guns. Subject never came up again, and several of my guns spent a good bit of time in her house. If a family member-any family member-chooses not to allow guns into their home then that means they choose not to have me in their homes. There is no argument. I simply tell them that it is their right to make that choice, that I respect their right. Then I turn around and leave.

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Great story.You write well, Byron.Raymond Chandler would approve.Excellent Phillip Marlowe prose.
I could feel my pulse quickening!
And you've got the best handle since Mike Hammer.

Truthfully, if this person has a disagreement with her husband and the only one she can reach out to for advice is a newspaper columnist she has far greater problems than a handgun in the house.

Just my thoughts on the subject.

Selena

Truthfully, if this person has a disagreement with her husband and the only one she can reach out to for advice is a newspaper columnist she has far greater problems than a handgun in the house.

Just my thoughts on the subject.

Selena

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Selena,Dear Abby and Anne Landers stayed in business for almost 50 year's because million's would rather address a famous stranger rather than confront each other.
The human mind is inexplicable in all its complexity.
My gosh,that sounded almost profound!

$500 is a major purchase?

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Like I tell my fiance, its not a purchase, its an investment.

The whole thing is this. She is an anti and he is a now a gun owner. The only thing he has to worry about now is her clubbing or shooting him with his newly acquired tool while he is sleeping. Truth be known, there will probably be a hell of a sale on a firearm real soon. He will get tired of the continuous bitchin' and complaining and he will get rid of the gun and probably start praying for someone to break into his home and relieve him of her nagging. God help us all!!

I've been meaning to read some of Raymond Chandler's work but I've never gotten around to it.

That's not a handle, that's my name.

Thanks for the compliment on my writing.

That's not a handle, that's my name.

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Even better!And this will get you started, Byron.Once you begin, you'll never stop.
I've read every Chandler novel at least 3 times.The all time master.
Los Angeles with Marlowe from 1939 to 1958.The ultimate noir.
And you're very welcome.
P.S. Look at the great quotes.

http://home.comcast.net/~mossrobert/

Haha! Pinstripe, the same sort of thing happened with a friend of mine, except it was a Harley Davidson.

Whenever I would call and he would not be home, his girlfriend would say "He's out riding my engagement ring". He sold the bike a few months later (which he payed for out of his own pocket, not a mutual bank account) to appease her, and she broke it off with him a few months later. Oops!

Guess which he misses more to this day...

This lady obviously has an Irrational fear of guns.
The best advise Abby could give is to Have her husband take her to the range with an instructor who's Knowledgeable About firearms training and have her Actually shoot guns -and discover that guns are nothing to fear anymore than any other tool-!
Fear is a great motivator in women-Be it fear of the kid hurting himself on a bike or hubby getting killed on a motorcycle.
I have taken women to shoot who were very afraid of guns--After they had a chance to shoot they were not afraid.
Same thing with flying-I have taken people for rides in my plane and let them take the controls --Funny thing they start to like it ! Having control takes away the fear.
I agree with writing to the Abby column to discuss this,

What happened to men being men. Has everyone let the femme part be the rulers? Man up, boys and get those dishes cleaned!!!

DEAR UNDER THE GUN: A few come to mind. Before buying the gun, your husband should have had enough respect for your feelings to discuss it with you so some ground rules could be established. It would be interesting to know why, after all these years, he feels so vulnerable that he thinks he needs a gun in the house.

Also, if you haven't already done so, both you and your husband should take a gun safety course as a precaution against an accident. Check with the police department to see where they are offered so you will know how to safely store and handle the weapon.

It goes without saying that your husband should never point the gun at anyone unless he actually intends to use it -- a frightening thought in itself. If your home should be burglarized and the gun stolen, the chances are great that it will be used for criminal activity. If your husband can live with that, then so be it.

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When I was looking into firearms as a hobby, I was told the same thing, but by gun enthusiasts. It really follows this letter pretty well.

- Guns aren't toys
- Teach people living with you the ground rules of gun handling
- Go take a NRA safety course
- Go buy a gun safe, because criminals will break in and take your gun to go on crime sprees.

After reading the actual response, for the most part she was right.

Being a gun owner does have it's problems.When I first got on the Police Force,I was branded as being a gun nut because of my collection of guns.It's funny,some of the guys who made that statement were the first ones to pull their guns and shoot.I had to pull my gun too many times to count,but the bad guy always backed down because I was always poised and confident.There were many times I could have shot and it would have been considered a good shoot,but I always gave the bad guy time to drop it because I knew I was in control.I respect anyone who makes the decision to arm themselves and becomes proficient with that firearm.

"If your home should be burglarized and the gun stolen,the chances are great that it will be used for criminal activity."

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Does anyone have any stats on that?

errr.....doesn't the 'criminal activity' start when then home is being burgled? so, that would make the stats 100%

Compromises could be made.....

concerning ".........major ethical/moral decisions.....' C'mon, guys. What if she has the facts wrong? And what about the lady of the house deciding to go on a year-long rant over this, and keeping "her legs crossed" all that time? Should she complain about the husband's expenditures on escort services? There are many ways to get what one wants, but she has only two: Abby and Tabby. "Nuf sed.

I am with the talk about it before you get married idea. My Father-in-law is a gunsmith, so I'm good. However, my mother, who recently moved in with us, is not a gun person. She sees me care for and secure them, run off to the range for practice, and read everything I can get my hands on regarding safety, mechanics, use and misuse of firearms. She has grown much more comfortable with the concept of RKBA.

Zminer, you must be my evil twin! My wife and daughter ganged up on me about getting a dog, and it was a Husky. The wife has allergies, and Huskies are the only dogs she isn't allergic to. (this one only cost $450). I said never, they kept it up. Now I'm glad we have the dog. BTW, in the years since the dog arrived, so have 5 more guns.

Aran, Yes, $500 is a lot of money to some people. $15/hr x 40 hrs per week = $600 gross, or depending on tax rates, $450-$500 per week take home. Even around here, where housing always has been more affordable than in a lot of areas of the country, it's still hard to get by because $15/hr jobs don't grow on trees.

next time the guy wants something , tell the wife up front and then go out and get it. she was notified and he is happy whats the problem???????????

I really see nothing wrong with Abby's response. She encourages open communication with a spouse about a major purchase and ethical issue. Even though I own many guns, if my wife went out and spent $500 on a gun and hid it from me, I would be pissed as hell.

Selena,Dear Abby and Anne Landers stayed in business for almost 50 year's because million's would rather address a famous stranger rather than confront each other.
The human mind is inexplicable in all its complexity.

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I think the better the better observation is that you can never go broke betting on the foolishness of a certain segment of society. I'd give examples but that would be a political statement.

Selena