Buying a gun for my wife

step one:

My wife is a wonderful young lady. She 24, and she’s gotta be the sweetest, kindest person I’ve ever met. The world isn’t getting any nicer, so I’d sure like her to have every available chance in her favor if she were presented with a bad situation. This isn’t about me, it’s about her.

She grew up the oldest of 6, and the daughter of a Navy Chaplin. She got doted on a little bit, not to a negative point. Mom and dad made a conscious decision to keep her sheltered from the ugly parts of the real world. As such, she’s naive and she’s on the timid side. She’s 6’ tall, and about 130 lbs of a bean pole. I think she’s beautiful on the outside and inside.

I was raised by a set of conservative thinking business owning parents, who came from Chicago, and saw the corruption there. I wasn’t allowed toy guns, but rather, real ones. My dad let me shoot the .44 mag he had when I was just 5. What an impression. I burned up hundreds of rounds of 8x57 surplus in my 98 Mauser before he’d take me hunting. Enrolled me in a hunter safety course as soon as I was old enough. At 34, I’ve been shooting guns for 30 years. I’m not a pro, don’t have any credentials, just raised around it all my life.

I’ve seen so many type A guys try to get girls to shoot. Even my dad pulled the boner of putting a hot load in my step-moms gun on her first range day. He thought it would be funny, she went and sat in the car.

I’ve been ‘round and ‘round with plenty of folks about what caliber for this, what caliber for that, and I certainly have my own opinions. Myself, I’m a 1911 guy. Got more rounds downrange with one of those than all other calibers put together.

But… This isn’t’ about me. It’s about her. And I’d rather her carry a gun that’s weaker than ideal, if it means she’ll actually carry it, and practice with it. My dad can’t help himself, he keep saying ‘revolver’. At first I tried to argue with him, now I just laugh. It’s not about him, or me, it’s about her.

So we went to the local range/store. I had stopped in there a bunch, and started to develop a report with them. I introduced her to the fellas behind the counter , and took a few steps back. She’ll listen to them more than me anyway. It’s natural, and not worth trying to change. Just accept it. It’s not about me, it’s about her. She picked up a smaller revolver, didn’t like it, put it down. Picked up a Glock 19, kinda liked how it felt. Picked up an M&P compact, and liked that a little better, and they helped her adjust the grip strap to her liking. She tried a few others, but from what they had there to ‘feel’, she seemed to like the M&P best, followed by the Glock. Its not about me, it’s about her.

I can’t stand Glocks. I respect them, But they just don’t feel right. I even own one, and I don’t like it. I didn’t like it the day I bought it, but it was a small package, and for that purpose, size matters. It’s not about me, it’s about her. Even less than the Glock product, I REALLY don’t like the 9mm cartridge. I mean, it’s not even a grown-up cartridge. It’s not about me, it’s about her. What do you expect to stop with that? Better to have something she’ll carry and practice with, than leave in the closet.

I’m beginning to sense a pattern here.

So yesterday we went to the range. I didn’t even try to tell her what to do, just the basic safety rules only. Other than that, I just shut up and let her shoot. It’s not about me, it’s about her. The guy behind the counter let her borrow his personal G19, and she put about 60 rounds through it. The other guy let her use his M&P (although full size) and she shot about 40 rounds with that. I lured him into the range with my 1911, and stepped back while he gave my wife some shooting tips. She improved a lot with them. It’s not about me, it’s about her. She did a nice job for her first indoor range shoot ever. She did a nice job with the safety rules, a couple reminders about ‘finger off the trigger’, but other than that, great. It’s not about me, it’s about her. We had some fun with 2 targets. When she got that look like she was a little tired (those long arms mean sore shoulders at first), I asked her if she wanted a break. She did. It’s not about me, it’s about her. So I shot a bit. Then she wanted to shoot a bit more, so I got out of the way, and swept up the brass while she shot. It’s not about me, it’s about her. When she wanted to trade safety glasses, we went outside, and switched. She liked mine better. It’s not about me, it’s about her. At 25 yards, she put up a nice pattern from the 12 o’clock to the 6 o’clock. I think every bullet she fired hit the paper, and it was a swatch about 9” wide from top to bottom. I’d say that’s pretty good for a first timer. It’s not about me, it’s about her. I kept the target & I’ll tape it up in the reload room. I think she did great, and I told her so. She smiles when she talks about it, so I did a few things right, and I think she’s gonna want to go back soon. Hopefully we can try out some different ones, so SHE can decide what one she likes best, cuz..... it's not about me, it's about HER!

Thanks for the feedback and suggestions on what models to ask her to try.

The range we went to is close, and the folks are very nice, and have a very 'lady-friendly' approach. When you talk to them, they walk and talk the idea that women are going to save our hobby. I think they create a good environment.

One thing I forgot to mention, and it's actually quite important, she's left-handed, but right eye dominant. I really want to get her into an environment where she can learn properly as soon as possible. So far, she's been shooting lefty, and sighting with her right eye. I hope she will try an xd because of the ambidextrous features they have.

The one downside to the range, is the selection of rental guns is on the minimal side. They are working on expanding it, but, it's a small group that owns the range, and I have to remember they have a business to run as well.

In my mind (it's not about me, it's about her) I was trying to see if there is/was one that she just falls in love with. Hasn't happened yet, but perhaps. The local range offers a couple ladies-only classes each year, I believe it's even taught by ladies.

My dad is even thicker-skulled than I am, and he just won't let the revolver idea go. I have no opinion in this issue, so if she want a revolver, that's what I'll do for her. The fellas at the store/range thought it was interesting that the majority of ladies they have had through their facility gravitated towards an autoloader. No agenda, no bias, just what their observations were. (they told this to me, not my wife)

All I wanted to do was make sure the experience was a positive one, and gradually work up from there, and try to keep my biases outside, and my attitude happy and supportive.

With regards to magazines, and rifles.... I started her our just as MarineOne did, with one round. Then I went to two, then a few more, then a full mag. I also 're-configured' the AR with her in mind, (since I got an M1A). I'm excited to take her out to shoot that when she wants too. (the AR, not the M1a yet)

NavyLT, I'm doing everything I can to be the best husband I can be, so she won't want a divorce, the rest is out of my hands, but I'm "all-in". I'm sorry if you had to go through that.

Thanks for the great ideas and suggestions, please keep them coming, and I'll update you all as this progresses. It's going to be a fun ride!

PE