My wife hates guns

I know more women that used to hate guns than women that do hate guns.

Sometimes an education changes people. An example of this is:

I know people that used to like Obama but now that they know about him, they can't stand him. Obame creates Conservatives.

People do change
People do change
People do change

There's hope for you wife.

People fear what they don't understand, or what they've been "Trained" to fear thru years of anti-gun propaganda.

Your goal: Make her understand.

Keep it light. Don't talk about how this gun with that bullet can "cut a man in half." Instead, say how fun it is to bounce a tin can downrange with a .22 rifle, or being able to hit a dime-size target with it at 50 yds.

When the time is right, bring up the fact that, since you have guns in the house, that she should take a basic gun safety class with you. Bribe her with dinner at her favorite restaurant once the class is completed.

Later, bribe her with a shooting date. Check out http://www.firstshots.org/ to find a range near you.

If you do get her to go shooting with you (bribes allowed) remember: keep it short, keep it light and keep it fun.

my son and i love our guns (he is 9) and my wife loves her 38 but cant see using my 1911 or any auto for that matter in a hd situation, she wants the point and shoot of a revolver, this might help your wife as well... no buttons, levers, clips ect.... just blow and go...

David E makes a real good point. Granted, my wife didn't start out anti-gun, but I introduced her to shooting with a 20 ga shotgun and empty gallon paint-cans 30 or 40 feet away to shoot at. She could "hit" immediately, and liked it...

Les

wow. my in-laws were of the mentality that a gun was only safe when it was unloaded and locked away in the attic/basement where it was of no use in a HD situation. It has taken many years to acclimate my wife to a firearms. She now has no problem taking her 9mm out and practicing in the back pasture without me. Shooting has grown from something that was a 'me only' activity into an 'us' activity. I used the hobby aspect to introduce it to her, and gradually went from there.

My one piece of advice-
DO NOT HAVE HER SHOOT YOUR .44M AS HER FIRST EXPERIENCE. IT MAY BE FUNNY AT THE TIME, BUT IT WAS ENTIRELY UNPRODUCTIVE AND SET THE PROCESS BACK A GOOD 2 YEARS -- IN MY OPINION.

I am sorry for your situation. BUT without being there I beleive this is an issue that must be resolved. She MUST see your side and agree/participate with you. The second amendment is the biggie.
Good luck, I wish you a long happy marriage.

Get divorced. Seriously.

Leave her

Click to expand...

Hey now, be nice!
Give it time, my friend. She will come around.

In a sense I'm lucky - my fiancee likes guns (though she refuses to go shooting). She was jealous when I stopped in a sheriff's office in PA to apply for my non-resident CCW permit - she wanted to apply too, but can't because she doesn't yet have a permit in NY, where we live. That being said, for me, an anti-gun mentality is a dealbreaker for a relationship.
I can offer a bit of advice to you though. You're right to bring her shooting. Don't hide your guns. In fact, expose her to them as much as is appropriate. Don't be obnoxious about it, but show her that you are safe with guns.
I've turned multiple anti-gun friends into firearms enthusiasts just by showing them, through my attitude and exposure, that guns are like cars. Respect them because they do have the ability to kill, but don't fear them. They have legitimate purposes and it is people that are dangerous, not inanimate objects. I give my friends a good half hour range safety talk before letting them step foot on a range for the first time.

If you cannot be a man and stand your ground with your wife and she gets all winged out with the sight of them, my suggestion is to start looking elsewhere, people hurt people, not guns...

I set that expectation with my wife before a ring came into play. Not exactly first date material, but it came up in the first few months. It went something like:

"I'm 4th generation marksman in my family on both sides. My kids will be 5th generation. I will have of firearms handed down to me that were handed down once already. If you're not okay with that let me know now before we get serious."

Her father is very anti-gun and was brought up like that. We've been married for 4 years and her aim is developing nicely.

I can't wait for her dad's next visit (from overseas) when I introduce him to "our" hobby.

-MW

My Wife also knew I was a firearms collector,She just did'nt know to what extent,or the why of it;could be a trust issue.She has since claimed a few of mine She's comfortable with,has hunted birds but not really into it.
We have respect for each other,we waited till our 40's,have dogs and horses.I would hate to think what would happen to anyone who hurt me.She hates violence but would be worse than alaskan brown bear when it comes to her pets or me.

LRaccuracy, sure they do. But they don't change because you have your buddy from work pretend to threaten her in a parking lot to scare her, because you buy her a gun (no offense christcorp), or because you bribe her, or because you psychologically bludgeon her with statistics, or other things that usually come up in threads like this.

Rationally, and I didn't type all this initially because usually people skim posts, a husband can ask his wife to change her mind, can prevent compelling evidence, and can even leave her if she doesn't suit him. All of those are options. But he can not make her change or insist that she change, pure and simple. That kind of thinking is what causes most relationship problems. And if this gets to be a huge issue, it's a 50/50 problem, not a wife-only problem because his wife is being unreasonable in our opinion.

It's unreasonable for the wife to insist her husband not own or carry guns, but not for her to feel uncomfortable for it. It's reasonable for the husband to rationally present his case and even to create an ultimatum, but it's not reasonable for him to deceive, harass, or make his wife more uncomfortable than absolutely necessary.

Your mileage may vary, but there are dozens of these threads that all give terrible advice.

The absolute worst attitude you could have in a relationship like this is the self-righteous, holier-than-thou, o-so-enlightened attitude we all put on when we talk about "those antis." (I am guilty as charged, but the OP will be committing relationship suicide if he starts quoting the founding fathers to his wife).

I'll be the nice guy and save everyone's marriage. Just give your guns to me and there won't be any problems. No hassle of changing anyone and I'll pay shipping too

My wife doesn't hate guns but she does fear them. We've talked about it calmly and rationally as to me wanting her to know how to protect herself in a bad situation such as a break in. I've tried to get her to the range but so far, that has been a no go. I don't push or make demands in that it would only make matters worse. I don't hide puchases from her as that would destroy the trust we have built up over the years nor do I make purchases when we need the money for something else. The one concession I've had to make to her is to clean my guns outside so it doesn't 'stink up the house'...a small price to pay. One of the things I have done is to enroll in a few classes which has been good for both of us. She feels more at ease knowing that I have some formal training and that I know how to handle the guns safely.
An ironic thing happened not too long ago when she was awakened by something that went bump in the night. She woke me saying, "get your gun. Someone is in the house". It turned out to be nothing and I successfully resisted the urge to say "I told you so".

Lone Sheep Dog:

Um.... Nope my wife doesn't hate guns at all... Guess I'm just lucky that way..



Of course she and I resolved any concerns about firearms before we got married (over 41 years ago), but honestly I think if she had been totally "anti-gun" I believe the marriage would never taken place.

I'm certainly not suggesting a Tammy Wynette song for you (DIVORCE), but I know in our home a disagreement on this subject would constantly be an irritation..

My suggestion is to try, somehow, to work out a compromise where you don't flaunt guns in her face, but she knows you have them and doesn't constantly give you grief about them.

I'd equate giving up my guns with giving up my "mountain oysters" and that's not happening..

Lots of luck to ya..

Best Wishes,

Jesse

My wife thinks guns are fun She used to dislike them...and she still doesn't like me to buy them too often... Curiously...one of her biggest complaints is that I do not go shooting enough...she says, "why do you have all of these guns if you don't even shoot them?" She is referring to the new rifles that I picked up...I can't find affordable ammo for them so I've been hoarding the small stash that I do have.

My wife picked up her CCL yesterday...I am so proud of her! Now to convince her that purse carry is NOT the only way to carry...

When we first got married I wasn't really into guns and neither was she...my hobby kind of took off and she came along...she doesn't mind it and sees its purpose but still doesn't like the monetary side of it. She also doesn't like how much time it takes up in my life (THR is to blame for that..too much time online in forums!).

I think that a great point is: investing in guns IS better than investing ANYWHERE else right now...except for perhaps real estate. Guns can be sold quickly...and ammo never drops in price...inflation comes and goes but ammo always has a set value. It is a great item for bartering.

I make sure to point out to my wife that if we ever did need money I could always sell a few of my guns and we would have the money quickly. It's NOT like I am investing in a motorcycle or a boat that would depreciate in value.

~Norinco

Takes true aim here..

...

+ 3, IIRC, lol

Jan is spot on, i.e. communications is key, and now that it's official, "the honeymoon is over", the real work of any marriage begins. Give and take, both sides, and knowing what, to give and not to give into, for both. It's an, ongoing, "work in progress" for many years to come.

Aprox 3 yrs ago (time flies) my wife was very anti gun, even though at the time and from the start, some 19yrs ago, I had 2 shotguns and 1 Ruger 22lr rifle.

When I decided to get my first (of 8 total) handgun she was terrified, not happy about it, and semi put her foot down. But, there are certain things this man must have and there are certain things she must have and that fundamental truth, we both agree on.

Basically, it took 6 months for her to even "start to believe" that guns just don't go off, and that I would not accidentally shoot one off in the house.

After the first year of 100% safety (still on-going) she became comfy in trust and, 3yrs later, she has her own gun/s, handles them, "in touch" mostly, and when I leave her alone with one.

It takes time, you must be patient, and not press the issue with her, and just be "the_proof" that guns just don't go off by themselves nor that you may accidentally have an AD or ND in that house, or elsewhere.

Time heals all wounds. Give it time, and you be the the surgeon, and leave no scare, from start to finish.


Ls

My wife has completly come around on guns and I have come around to some of the things she feels passionate about.

It just takes time. And as far as hiding purchases from her. I would never do that, I just sometimes use creative financing options to buy them.

Leroy

She can feel what she wants. Don't let it change your behavior. If she's foisting her issues on you, dump her. I've learned a few things in my life, and one of them is that life is way too valuable and short to waste on bad relationships.

OK, I'm fully prepared to be crucified by the ladies here but........


Top 10 reasons a gun is favored over a woman
#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

# 9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

# 8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

# 7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

# 6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

# 5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

# 4. Guns function normally every day of the month.

# 3. A gun doesn't ask , 'Do these new grips make me look fat?'

# 2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman....

# 1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN

Take it easy get her to a range and find some one she trusts that will tell her the truth about firearms. My wife likes to play the you have too many game with me sometimes so I counter with how many pair of shoes and purses she has and the FACT I never say a word about what she buys.

Develop a phobia of shoes and handbags.

See how she reacts when the tables are turned. =)