CCW and relationships

Darkninja said:

Careful. You're about to get jumped by the girls in this thread, (and not in a good way.)

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LOL

We're whacky?

The number of men that talk about collecting guns, how sexy and beautiful they are, how you cant have too many, about finishes and customizations, and handling.....and you guys make fun of us and our shoes? LOLOLOL


Heh heh, it's all a matter of perspective.

(And I'm not into shoes...or even shopping!)

If there is not much in common beside sex then keep look'n. Next first wanted to know if my future wife liked to hunt, camp, fish and was not afraid of guns. Mine like some others is a hell of a shot with her pistols. She always went with me on motorcycles, airboats , swampbuggies and 4x4's with out complaint. Atleast for 33 years so far. If problems come up besure they surface early on so you can keep look'n ,cause not many adults are going to change there basic outlook on life, likes and dislikes.

I had been dating my future wife for a couple of months, and things looked pretty promising. One day she was unloading her pocket book at her kitchen table. Lo and behold out comes this little Browning .25 auto. I jokingly asked her what the gun was for. She gave me this serious look and said " for you if you get out of line". Needless to say I knew she was the right gal for me. Been married for 22 years now, and haven't been shot yet.

Carrying a concealed weapon is waaaay down the list on what my issues are that may keep me from being in a relationship.
If they can get past all those and the ccw becomes an issue i guess ill have to be single another 10 years.

Girlfriend found out about 3 weeks into the relationship when her son rammed into my 1911 at dinner with his head . But she was cool with it, told me that she feels a lot safer around me knowing that I carry. In fact, she kinda patted me down when I came over today and gave me a disappointing look at being unarmed

I don't even consider broaching the subject until things start to get serious. Until then, I consider the fact that I carry to not really be of any real concern to her.

One of the first things women find out about me is that I work security. The next question is "Do you own guns?" My answer is always truthful. If that makes them gun shy (I can hear the groans through the screen!) then they weren't really my type of girl anyhow. If, on the off chance it isn't brought up, they see my gun the first time they see my pistol

I go the other way from the beginning.
Most of my close friends know I carry often and its a non-issue for them. Sometimes it comes out in sort of a joking way but still, people are aware of it.
Why hide it?
She's gonna find out eventually.

unfortunately this inst a problem for me as i live at school. Basically makes my LTC a useless piece of plastic when im here. Another thing is that I can't even mention firearms around campus as I would immediately be seen as a lunatic. On a plus side there are a lot of girls around.

At home most girls like the idea of carrying and want to shoot.

Careful. You're about to get jumped by the girls in this thread, (and not in a good way.)

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Come on, I was kidding. Besides, it helps identify who doesn't have a sense of humor or takes themselves really seriously.
9MMare has one. Glad to see. I never said all guys weren't crazy to some extent.
Being human is AWESOME! Don't you agree?

99.9999999% of women are not going to be amused if they find out you are a gun owner, or carry a gun by reaching into your pants and grabbing your hunk-o-steel. Trust me...

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In my experience, the women I've dated are either neutral about it, or look upon concealed carry favorably. This may be a regional thing, however.

Seriously, when the wife and I both "unstrap" it's kind of a turn on. ;-)

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Same here... Your statement reminded me of the Scene from Police Academy with Tackleberry and his lady


As for the OP, I'd make "the firearms conversation" on the 2nd or 3rd date... Find out how they feel about them. If they're not good with the guns, then get out the door

I'm long past the point of dating, but if I were still beating the bushes to get lucky, I'd ditch the gun just before the petting starts. If, on the other hand, she could possibly be a keeper, let her know early on, because you don't want to fall for an anti-gun woman. Imagine trying to raise your kids right with a someone who thinks like that!

I've had the smae problem. generaly i try to keep it hidden while i take my clothes off. If the weapon is seen, and it almost never is, i explain my reasons for carrying it and make it clear that i have a permit for doing so. if it bothers the person to the point where they just arn't okay with it, it's time for me to move on anyway.

The last to women I have dated CC themselves. Current intrest carries a colt diamondback. Thank god for southern women.

Tell the girl if you have her sleeping over. I didn't tell my wife when we got married because I knew the guns were an issue for her. She finds the gun one day in my pants, picks it up, points it at me with her finger on the trigger, and says "what is this?". No bull***t. She later said she almost pulled the trigger. I have that same AMT Backup .45 as I write this lol. Good thing isn't probably a 12 lb double action pull. She later went shooting and no longer is afraid of guns.

Although I have found that from time to time when a gun is discovered it can act as a Godly aphrodisiac....

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I just had to ask, what's a Godly aphrodisiac?

^^ something that gets you involved in a religious experience.

I've been in this situation many many times.

On or very near date #1 or #2, or in conversations over the phone, some deep topics comes up. I generally ask how they feel about gun control and the 2nd Amendment. I find that as I get older that question is going to be a good guage as to the intelligence, thoughfulness, self-defense oriented, etc. of a person.

From there you'll get a few typical reations:
1. The most common is the woman who has never shot a gun, but supports the 2A
2. The next most common is the woman who is disinterested in guns
3. Next you have the woman that grew up around guns or is comfortable with them
4. Last you have the San Francisco liberal who hates all things guns and is unyieldingly terrified of them and sees no use for them other than to rob and maim people.


Group number 1 and 3 are keepers. Invite them to the range and shortly thereafter you'll share with her your 'secret' that she has to promise not to tell anyone else- that you CCW.

Group number 2 you can work with by inviting shooting and get her enthused.

Group number 4 is a lost cause. End it now. Don't risk having kids with this woman and being forever attached to a headache.

I can say that using this approach has meant great dating relationships for me and by being selective I can carry and they are completely comfortable, and even comforted, by it.

I'm in my 30s and non-married by choice because I'm having too much darn fun dating! But I'm VERY careful not to risk being stuck with a number 4 or even a number 2!

I'm not sure this is an exact quote or a paraphrase (I googled what i could remember and found this) but I read this in the book "The Gift of Fear" about one major difference between men and women: "At core, men are afraid women will laugh at them, while at core, women are afraid men will kill them." It was in the chapter where the author cites statistics showing that most violence against women is from the men in their lives: fathers, brothers, boyfriends, husbands, other male relatives.

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So - I'm a athletic and relatively fit and strong and intelligent man and a trained Soldier with combat experience... and I carry when I can. Given this quote, and the truth that so many women are victims of beatings and rape, and that most women are outsized and physically outclassed by men, I'm dumbfounded that so many women DON'T carry. Women are incredibly vulerable in society. If I were a woman I would absolutely carry 24/7!!! I cannot understand why on earth any woman with 2 cents doesn't own a home defense gun and carry! It's a mystery that will never be explained...

I've just got to say that I'm one lucky sob. I'm not going to go on and brag about just how awesome my girlfriend is, ( but just for one example, she asked why don't I have a fallout shelter and then stated that when we buy/build a house there will be one in there) but she will soon be taking her cpl course and despite being a relatively new shooter, does better at the range than all my buddies. In fact, she is the only one other than me that LIKES to shoot the snubbies.

Because any woman with 2 cents will charm someone like yourself into doing the dangerous job of protecting her...

Orig quote: I'm not sure this is an exact quote or a paraphrase (I googled what i could remember and found this) but I read this in the book "The Gift of Fear" about one major difference between men and women: "At core, men are afraid women will laugh at them, while at core, women are afraid men will kill them." It was in the chapter where the author cites statistics showing that most violence against women is from the men in their lives: fathers, brothers, boyfriends, husbands, other male relatives.

leadcounsel said:

So - I'm a athletic and relatively fit and strong and intelligent man and a trained Soldier with combat experience... and I carry when I can. Given this quote, and the truth that so many women are victims of beatings and rape, and that most women are outsized and physically outclassed by men, I'm dumbfounded that so many women DON'T carry. Women are incredibly vulerable in society. If I were a woman I would absolutely carry 24/7!!! I cannot understand why on earth any woman with 2 cents doesn't own a home defense gun and carry! It's a mystery that will never be explained...

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Social conditioning. Just like why many women arent into cars or football, or think that "must" get married and have kids.

You see when women grow up in hunting households, or with gearhead brothers...they accept guns and know about cars and accept this as normal (for example).

Men and women contribute to the conditioning....and as long as women receive messages that men want cute and fashion conscious and less smart and less competant than men (except running a home)....than that's the way many women are going to behave. And those messages are still undeniably common in many parts of our society, esp the media.

But believe me...there are still plenty of exceptions

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And the part about men being dangerous when laughed at....this is why so many men kill the women who reject them (ex gfs and wives) and do the whole "disgruntled worker/loser" spree shooting thing. In many men, that male ego tends to be very fragile.................