guns and my fiancee

I also pointed out to my wife how when she gets new cloths, shoes, jewelry, perfume, that these items are then about worthless. We can never get that money back. A firearm is an investment. If you should find yourself in need of fast cash, you can sell a quality firearm for as much or more than you paid.

Put it in terms of money, women get that.

Honesty is always the best policy.


Silence is the SECOND best policy.

SacketJoe, "Put it in terms of money, they get that."

^^LOL. Yeah. They GET it, then they SPEND it.

I've found if you wear Hoppes #9 for a cologne you only attract the 'right kind' of gals.

I'm just gonna ask a few questions...

- Does she try to control other areas of you lives?
- Does she have to be right all the time?
- Are you willing to give on one or compromise on one of your passions/values/hobbies?
- Are your values in line with each other?

The things that are hot buttons in marriages tend to be financial, sexual, religious, family & political. RKBA is a huge core value becauses it's one of those things that tie together political, financial, & family/moral values. Some folks will work it out, some don't.

Fremmer said:

Seriously, you need to reconsider your plan to marry her.

She's already controlling you. And it ain't gonna get better after you get married. It's gonna get worse.

Sorry, I know this isn't what you want to hear, and I'm not trying to be a jerk. I suppose advice is worth what you pay for it, but still...you better think twice.

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Absolutely put this issue to rest BEFORE you get married. This is why I always advise +1 year engagments.

The only reasonable issue she could have with guns is if you collect so many that it begins to place you debt, impact standard of living, etc. This then really a financial problem and not a "gun problem". Does not really sound like that's it. Otherwise, she needs to move passed it.

You need a firearm 24/7 in every car, every room of the house, and on your person.

My ex wife

I am not trying to give u advise ok each man is his own but here is a story about what happen to me ok my ex wife before she became my ex she was into shooting and every thing that I was in to the problems started when she bought a 400 dollar purse and 300 dollar shoes and so fourth I never told her no but then when I saw a 44 mag super black hawlk ruger 6 1/2 inch barrel it was like calling to me so I went home and told her about it she said no why do u need another gun and we have bills to pay stuff like that she didn't work I providing I was always working and I could not have that one thing that I asked for just one thing so two weeks later my lawyor contacted her and now I have my 44 mag do I miss her yea but when I shoot my 44 mag no I don't

Having been there - your problem is not your GF but your mother. She is working your GF behind your back. Ask some questions and I'll bet you will find there have been some conversations you do not know about.

It is only a partial solution but tell your mother to butt out - she won't of course but enough repetitions might get the message through. Distance helps.

Vernon

My ex was a shopaholic that bought $200 shoes, spends $400 on a single trip to Target (12 years ago!), didn't work, eat sweets all day long until she bloated to 200lbs+, AND didn't allow me to keep my firearms in OUR house!!! One of the best days of my life was when I told her that I'd switched bank accounts and that I was leaving her.

I now got me a girl who is my best friend, lover, & wonderful step-mom to the boys AND she shoots with me!!!

To the original poster...RE-EVALUATE everything BEFORE she owns half of everything.

Hardheadedsob

My ex wife I am not trying to give u advise ok each man is his own but here is a story about what happen to me ok my ex wife before she became my ex she was into shooting and every thing that I was in to the problems started when she bought a 400 dollar purse and 300 dollar shoes and so fourth I never told her no but then when I saw a 44 mag super black hawlk ruger 6 1/2 inch barrel it was like calling to me so I went home and told her about it she said no why do u need another gun and we have bills to pay stuff like that she didn't work I providing I was always working and I could not have that one thing that I asked for just one thing so two weeks later my lawyor contacted her and now I have my 44 mag do I miss her yea but when I shoot my 44 mag no I don't

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Dealing with non believers!!!!!

Wow i've read a lot of different ideas on the subject some quite good others funny and some way out there. The best advice that i could give someone in this situation, after 28 yrs of marriage and a huge family some anti-gunners and raising my children around guns the best course is to try to educate her. Slowly and with lots of love expose her to the facts. Use the publications from nra, second amendment foundation, california rifle & pistol association and the numerous others that are available. If you deeply love her and you want her in your life forever than you will have to work together. Remember that only one doing all the giving wont work. As for the subject of home defense the #1 protection gun for this is a 20 ga short barreled pump shotgun. Using a handgun with hollow-points will only plug up when they hit sheetrock walls and continue to go thru multiple walls. A load of 7 1/2 bird shot at 30 ft is a solid mass and if you miss than it will unload all its energy into the first wall it hits and disapate the load.
I wish you luck with this very serious problem that so many men and women have to deal with.

If she won't budge and you can't work it out, I'd say "hasta la vista"!, but that's just me. I"ll be damned before I give up my guns for a woman.

I should marry current GF.

She is anti - gun, but she misses her stainless steel 22/45.

As consolation for selling that one, I got her a GP100.

It's not going to get better down the road. I have been married to a wonderful woman for 27 years and have just as many guns, which she even buy for me. They are out there, you won't be happy if you compromize all the time. The problems is hers not yours. Let her know.

Dump her fast.

What is she going to say when you buy gun number 15 or gun number 20. If you're not married and she's talking this way what do you think you're going to hear after you are married. And the worst part will be dealing with her and her lawyer and the divorce courts during and after the divorce over a period of months but more likely years as all of your freedom and say so over your life are systematically dismantled. They are few and far between but there are women out there that won't try to think for you or run your life. And there are thousands of divorced men who wish someone had hit them in the head with a lead pipe to wake them up before they married the wrong woman.

A young woman's advice

my 4 cents adjusted for inflation.

1. Keep her away from your mom.
2. Tell your mom that you're an adult and if she doesn't start treating you like one, you cut her off. [I love and adore my grandmother, but the minute she starts telling me what to do or how to do, especially if she has no knowledge about the topic, I have to tell her to drop it. If she doesn't, I walk out of her house and do so until she gets it or at least stops nagging over it.]

When 2 or more women get together inevitably their conversations turn to something to complain about. Your guns are one of many victims to this. Nip it in the bud.

About the only thing that would concern me if my future hubby buys too many guns or other passion is that it would impact family finances. Fun money, knock yourself out, buy nukes for all I care.

We have been together a little over 1 1/2 years, everything has gone great so far. Ive taken her shooting a few times, she enjoyed it. I think every man in hers and mine's family owns guns, so shes not new to them. However, I recently bought a .357 Magnum to keep for home defense, and recently, she has seemed upset about it. She asked me the other day "Why would you need more than one gun?" I tried explaining to her, but she didnt seem to want to listen. Now, shes wanting me to sell my 9mm, which I keep in the car.

She didnt have a problem with me having it, until my anti-gun mom found out about it. She flipped out, saying that "a criminal will shoot you if you have a gun, but without one he wont" "You know martial arts, you dont need a gun", typical anti BS. Now it seems, Tiffany (my fiancee) seems scared or something. What can I do to solve all this? I love her, but I also enjoy shooting and collecting firearms. Its not like I have them laying around, I keep the 9mm in my center console, and the .357 by my bed, unloaded.
************


My exwife after 20 years of marriage ..." all those dogs have to go , those horses have to go , that racecar has to go , all those damn motorcycles have to go , and most of all you have to get rid of all those damn guns"....

So I went.

Last girlfriend " if we're going to continue to see each other you'll have to get rid of those motorcycles and all those guns."

I've still got the bikes and the firearms.



B.

Magnum357,

I'm glad to find out that her main concern was safety.
Definitely get at least a small desk safe.

I think a good answer to the question "Why do you need two guns"

Because I'm not always here when you are and I want you to be safe.

A good dog or gun are hard to find. Women are EVERYWHERE. Dump her.

notbubba said:

Magnum357,

I'm glad to find out that her main concern was safety.
Definitely get at least a small desk safe.

I think a good answer to the question "Why do you need two guns"

Because I'm not always here when you are and I want you to be safe.

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Thats a good one.

But when it turns to 3,4,5,6,10 guns.....

If she is like my wife... or most wives I know.....

We have matching dinner place settings for 12 people. (use a different ex if this doesnt apply)

Its me, my wife and sometimes my 20 yr old daughter. Thats 2 people 80% of the time and 3 people another 19.7% of the time. That leave about a .3% chance we "need" more than 3 place settings. I understand they are often sold in even #'s so thats 4.

But we have 12..... thats 8 extra. 3 x what we "need".

So, I ask.... why do we "need" place sittings for 12? Her answer is always that we need them for guests.

I remind her that we dont have guests often. She says but we do and they will needs plates and utinsils etc.

Then I remind her that our table only seats 6 people.... so why do we need enough for 12?

She says... well, they can sit at the bar. I say, +4, ok thats 10 max total. Why 12?

Her: We have patio furnature (seating for 6). People could be inside and outside eating.
Me: That would be a BBQ and we wouldnt use our dishes (paper plates most likely).

Me again: Your reason is you "want" them... "just in case" we "need them". Well..... thats why people have more than 1 gun. JUST IN CASE. Insurance? Just in case. A flashlight? Just in case. A spare tire? Just in case. An extra 24 roll pack of toilet paper? Just in case. LOL


She used to be neutral to guns but nervous if one was in plain site.

She still will say "theres a gun on you night stand" as if I would be surprised to learn that I left it there.

BUT, she now has her CCW. She still needs more practice to be more comfortable. And she still needs to decide which guns she wants to call her own. And she still needs to start carrying. She works alone alot and can carry.

"Compromise" sometimes carry's a negative conatation. Listen. Discuss. Ask questions. Dont dismiss her feelings. Negotiate.

If that doesnt work. You're SOL.

I did see you got it worked out. I just felt you or someone else might gain something from my input.

Or, maybe not

I'd tell her...

...that she's in charge of being precious...and you're in charge of protecting what's precious to you...and everytime she brings it up...look her straight in the eye and say nothing...my wife of 24 years still sneers when she sees a gun in the house...she trusts Jesus for her protection...but she doesn't understand that Jesus sometimes uses well-trained, well-armed men...she would never admit that...and rolls her eyes when I go out the door at night when something's out there...but she goofed up a coupla months ago when there were shots in the neighborhood...she came in and asked my son "Was that gunfire?" He told her "Of course"...she said "Where's your Dad"...he said "Out there"...she said "Good"...and went back to what she was doing...she didn't know he told me...but she really knows...just won't admit it...
...choose your battles...it's OK to agree to disagree...

Magnum357 said:

Great post danez, Ill keep that in mind next time she brings it up. Im not going to dump her, shes a great girl, and is WAY less nagging/controlling/b*tchy than others Ive dated.

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thanks. its written a little tongue in cheek but pretty accurate. Its NOT a tense conversation at all. In fact, its kind of a tit-for-tat playful conversation.

We've been together for almost 16 yrs so it wasnt an overnight thing to say the least.

Most of that was in So. Cal and their stupid laws played a big part in the whole thing.

Danfuscious says:
If you both can negotiate with out feeling like you just lost 1/2 of yourself(s).... keep her. Over time, you'll both grow together instead of grow apart.

good luck