Kahr PM9 / Ruger LCP / Keltec P3AT Recoil??

My wife is 5'01 and has small hands.. she loves shooting my CW9 ..

she had just a bit of problem limp wristing it at first, but quickly overcame it..

Recoil is a personal thing my wife will shoot her 32 keltec all day long but hates my 380 KelTec. . It will have to be her choice Not yours or some clerk

The sales guy put her off of it a bit by saying it is a real pain to shoot

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Word of advice, take the advice of the gun sales guys with a grain of salt. Some of the biggest gun related loads of BS I have ever heard have come out of the mouths of gun salesmen. They sound like they are trying to sell her a stereotypical "ladies gun," you don't want that for your wife.

That said the tiny .380s will almost certainly have more recoil than the pm9. Even though the .380 is a weaker cartridge, the contruction of the tiny .380s cause a lot of snappy recoil. The pm9 has a more substantial physiology and will deplete recoil better.

The best thing to do is let her shoot one of each and let her decide. But I'll tell you, tiny .380s and snubbies are the hardest guns to shoot. The bersa may be a good option, but for that size why go with .380 when you can go with 9mm?

I have a PM9 and it kicks pretty hard, kind of like a snubbie.

My wife likes my PM45 but her normal carry gun is currently a XD sc40.

Get one and let her shoot it if there's anyway possible.

I have a Ruger LCP, and I would call the recoil snappy. The physics of it are unavoidable, a 10 and 1/2 oz. gun coupled with a very small grip area are going to have a certain level of perceived recoil. I can manage mine pretty well but that really is a subjective and personal choice.

My wife who is 5 10, doesn't like the .380 in small pistols but enjoys the .32 in the same size gun.

I have a PM9 and the felt recoil is MUCH less than the blowback operated Bersa. It is also much more pleasant to shoot than the KelTec (the PM9 is slightly larger)

The KelTec P3at was one of the guns I wanted to like because of it's light weight, price and concealability. When I fired one it seemed like it wanted to squirt right out of my fist. I just plain didn't like the experience.

My bicycle riding gun is a Kahr P380. More expensive than a KelTec or LCP but much better trigger and sights.

I find the P3AT unpleasant to shoot. The recoil causes the trigger guard to beat up my finger after a while, but the gun wasn't exactly designed for range use. I've never had a failure of any kind, but it's definitely not fun to shoot. I've never tried a PM9 for comparison.

I'd say get the PM9 if she's comfortable carrying it. More power with minimally more size is better. Carry the most powerful package you can conceal, IMO. Recoil won't matter much if the SHTF.

I only have experience with the PM9. But its recoil is not at all excessive; it has less felt recoil than a .38 Spl. lightweight snubnose revolver. The only thing that causes me discomfort is my trigger finger rubbing on the bottom of the guard sometimes.

Instead of the PM9, consider the P9 for her.
My wife has a P9 and it's her favorite pistol. She doesn't really care for the shorter grip PM9.
The P9 has about 3/4'' longer grip which allows all fingers to get on grip, making control easier than the PM9.
Also, my wife had me put AGRIP on her P9; she likes the feel of AGRIP better than a piece of bicycle tube.
Even though she doesn't shoot much or often, I keep her P9 loaded with +P HP and that's what she shoots when she practices. She has never had a jam in 200+ rounds she put throught the gun (I "helped" with the initial 200 break-in shots); pistol has 400+ through it.

As far as power, these are results I obtained (average of 5 shots):
Kahr P9: Remington 115 gr. +P @ 1,163 fps / 345# KE
Kahr PM9: Remington 115 gr. +P @ 1,098 fps / 307# KE
Kel-Tec P3AT: Remington Golden Saber 102 gr. @ 775 fps / 136# KE