Girlfriend Doesn't Approve of Carrying

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Get another gun and another woman! Problem solved. If you like firearms and she's that deadset against you having them, do yourself a favor and trade her in cause it's only going to get worse when you marry her!
 
I think you have gotten a lot of sounds advice in this thread. I agree with the others...leave her. She is a girlfriend, not a wife, and you can still walk out the door.

Before you do that though, you may want to take some time to document or record some of the arguments, record if legal and document (as in journal writing). Why? Because if you leave her and she gets mad, you have evidence to point to prior abuses, whether they are verbal or physical. It also documents a history of such abuses, which, I hope this is not the situation you get into. When you try to leave, she may get mad and call the police, giving a story and trust me, it's your word against hers.
When or if you do leave, try to do it when she is not there, so that she can't do the aforementioned. You may not think she would do that, but then, you didn't think she'd behave the way you described before either.
 
HD Fboy said:
Our relationship is a partnership. Does this reflect relationship for you and your GF?

Best line of the entire thread.

You need to try to reason with your girlfriend as regards the gun (and all your other possessions); and, failing that, you need to reason with yourself on what constitutes a healthy and lasting relationship. What you have described ain't it; and it's a lesson best taken to heart sooner rather than later. Your wallet and your heart will both thank you.

One thing you might try is pointing out how many times you've CC'd around her without her knowing. Ask her whether, in hindsight, that affected either of you in the slightest; did you act any differently while carrying? Did she? No? Then what's the problem? :)
 
Before I got married I told my fiance that I'd most likely always have an airplane, ride a motorcycle, sail, and enjoy shooting all kinds of firearms. She was good with that, she flew with me, still rides the back of my Goldwing and is a good shot with a pistol and rifle. She never was fully comfortable with sailing but went along anyway. If she'd objected to any of those it would have been a deal breaker. So far we've stayed together for forty one years. Might make it a few more too.
The point is, determine what is important to you, a woman who's a partner in your life is a gem. A high maintenance woman who want's to change you is a stone. Infatuation lasts for a short while, a good match lasts for a lifetime.
 
Wow at first glance I figured this thread would end up being kind of like an extension of the thread I started on trying to convince my GF that carrying wasn't a crazy idea...I must say I will not complain about her again.

Seriously though, I agree with the others if your GF has been violent then she has crossed a line and has no business being around guns regardless of who they belong to. It sounds like she may need some help.

Good luck with your situation my friend!
 
Keep the gun and get rid of the woman.. I think it may be the best solution in this situation. My parents finally accepted that I conceal carry and my mother is petrified of guns. But, they know I am a man of good moral integrity and I am responsible. I cannot get new parents, but unless you're married with kids, you can find another woman who respects you more. To me, if a woman is against you carrying a gun, she doesn't trust you or respect you. The only other situation where I could respect a woman not wanting her husband/BF to carry is if he is violent person and she is afraid. If that is not the case, it would be that she doesn't trust you and wants to have control over you. Strange as it sounds, guns represent freedom, trust and respect. If she is against that, she is against you.

My 2 cents.. Please realize, I don't know full details of your situation, but just using my own logic if I was faced with a girlfriend like this.
 
I was in an abusive relationship for 3 years. Everything was fine until we were involved in a very serious automobile accident. After that, we were both in physical therapy for about 6 months. She basically became a basket case after that, stopped taking care of herself, started crying a lot for no particular reason.

We had rented a house together, and she more or less broke up with me, saying she needed to get things straightened up and that I deserved better. I was a bit heartbroken, but I wanted whatever was best for her.

I went out with a female friend to a basketball game, and after that, things went downhill quick. She started accusing me of cheating, started going through my cell phone while I was asleep, and started examining my email and computer usage.

When we would go out, her comments became more and more sarcastic, and SHTF when we got home. She alienated many of our mutual friends, and eventually became physically abusive.

I tried everything I could to help her and fix the relationship, but none of it worked. The more effort I put in, the more things deteriorated. The guy she had dated before me ran up her credit card debt (which I helped her address) and apparently cheated on her while they were engaged. For the life of me, I have no idea what changed after the wreck. She is a very talented person on so many levels and is now married with a kid on the way.

In retrospect, you never know what might set someone off. Heck, most of the time you may never know if someone has some underlying issues until it hits you square in the balls, while youre asleep, at 5:00 in the morning.

Beware. To me, this girl is sending up many of the red flags I failed to notice until it was too late.
 
I would also greatly consider trying to get her some help, regardless of whether your relationship lasts, especially since youre close to her step dad.
 
Just an idea. But have you tried not carrying the gun for a few days and seeing if she acts any different. I'm not saying don't carry in general. just saying that it seems like an easy way to test if it is the issue or not.
 
I think Roan said it best. Just present your case, politely but firmly. Don't be on the defensive, tell her how you feel about the direction of the relationship. That means guns xBox and everything. Tell her you are the person she says she loves and these things are part of what makes you - you. I'm not saying you need to break up, but I think you both really need to look at the relationship and see if it's going to go anywhere.

And remember the old saying: Men marry women hoping they will never change; women marry men hoping they will.
 
She is an immature, ignorant dolt. I will tell you this, one day she will get a wild hair across her ass and call the cops on you.. You will lose your guns and spend a kings ransom trying to get them back, if you ever do. I've seen it before. Take pictures of your guns because by seizure or by wearing you down you will lose them if you stay with her.
 
Man. some good and IMO harsh comments here.

Now, I have been married for 10 years, been with/dating my wife for 7 years before that (since High school). I am into Bass fishing i mean REALLY into it, she hates it. I am into firearms, she does not hate them but does not share my enthusiasm. She loves arts and crafts, I am not too crafty here. She also have a penchant for movies that make me want to lay down under a bus.

We work because we meet midway. She got a CCW, not because she really wanted one but because it was important to me that she be able to protect herself. I got a bass boat and she supported me in that large purchase because she knew fishing was something I really enjoyed. She knows she is number 1 and does not feel threatened by my hobbies.

As a younger man, sometimes I was a total nimrod in how I talked to her. In particular when it came to firearms, and my choice to concealed carry. I really had to sort of step back and realize it was me, not her that caused the reactions I got from her. My tone (not screaming but not understanding either), the poor choice of words (not cussing or vulgar but not the best), all came together to get what, at the time, I considered irrational reactions from her. I have had some time to learn her and her me and it has paid off a ton in our lives.

I bring this up only because we are really getting 1 side of the story, OP, you really are the only one who knows it or not but the next discussion you have around this, really take a long hard look at how you talk, tone, choice of words, etc and try to see if maybe there is something in the delivery of your point of view that may be helping to cause this. Keep in mind it may also be an expression on your face.

That being said, before I met my wife, I also dated a girl who was bi-polar and let's just say THOSE discussions were real fun. it made no difference what I said, what I did, how I said it, nothing would have ever worked.
 
File police reports whenever she touches you and have them come. If that doesn't whip her into shape nothing will.
 
Bass fishing is not a right guaranteed under the constitution. There is a difference between the little woman objecting to you blowing huge amounts of money to catch fish and having a problem with your most basic rights in this country.
 
I'd count myself extremely lucky to have discovered this "quirk" before marrying the girl.
 
when she was younger (I think around 12) they were out camping in the desert, and some maniac just open fired on her, her brothers, mother, and step dad. The only thing that saved their lives was the fact that her step dad returned fire and the guy hopped on his quad and took off.
As he said, she, of all people, should understand a gun's purpose.

Something like this could and probably did have a traumatic affect on her. This being the case and along with the other things you've mentioned about her, I'd say she's a prime candidate for some help in the way of therapy. Be careful with this, it's easier than you think to make these things worse.

And how on earth is this thread still open? Haha
 
Maybe the shooting had an affect on her but I have strong doubts that is the root cause of this.
Reread the other issues that have gotten her in a hissy.
To Obsidian....Time for a vacation and some reflection.
 
Bass fishing is not a right guaranteed under the constitution. There is a difference between the little woman objecting to you blowing huge amounts of money to catch fish and having a problem with your most basic rights in this country.

It is not so much the specific activity as the idea that you whatever the item you work with your spouse/significant other. Now if one of those issues is something you cannot and will not compromise on, well, then she has to understand that and live with it. If they can't well, I see some dark times in the future
 
I appreciate all the responses, though I think some of them got off topic.
I do intend on continuing to try and resolve this, and am at least giving it until the main cause of stress (job issues) is resolved and then measure it from there.
I tried talking to her last night again, same response. Hysterical crying and yelling, refusal to talk, but insisted on getting her point across at first.
I can't seem to get a word in as far as trying to get her to be rational about the CC situation. I've left it holstered and in the bedroom, accessible, but not wearing it around the house and it doesn't seem to really be changing much. If it is, the difference is subtle.
 
Obsidian

I didn't take the time to read all of the posts so if this has been said I apologize.

Go back and read your post as though you are an outsider and I think that you will find that you have answered your own question.

I gleaned that this not a stable, happy person. It seems that she has all kinds of emotional issues that she has not improved on over the last two years.

You have given this MORE than a chance to work.

Obviously you are reluctant...but it's time
 
Girlfriend?

ObsidianOne I don't know you or your GF but my bro is in much the same situation [not guns] but other stuff. His GF has been clinically diagnosed as bipolar and is under a Dr's care. As long as she is taking her meds and going for therapy things are good between them when she is off her meds. she is impossible to get along with. She can be dangerous in her rages and has been physically abusive to him and their children. Please, if you want this to work, you must het her some help and as long as you are together you must keep the guns away from her or they could be used against you. Just some free advice FWIW.
 
I'll re-state that this isn't a gun issue.


This is an issue with conflict resolution and how the two of you are going to deal with disagreements and arguments. Over anything. If she can't be rational and reasonable about this, wait until the argument happens over something that really matters, like children or career choices.
 
Something to consider: your guns could be confiscated if a domestic violence incident comes up.

Some serious red flags here and good advice from others.
 
Get a new girlfriend. Trust me.

The way you indicate that she treats you, "hurling insults", to use your words, says to me that there are other underlying issues that you don't want to deal with long term. If you can't have a mature conversation and then agree to disagree, it won't get better with time.

The above is assuming that "girlfriend" eventually leads to "marriage." If not, then I hope she has some other redeeming quality that makes you stick around.
 
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