How to introduce a handgun into the house with a 14-year old?

Some will say she shouldn't be shooting it at all for any reason.

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Mostly people who will also say, either openly or to themselves, that YOU shouldn't be shooting either.

Get a center of mass safe http://www.center-of-mass.com/ for your cars. They open with a key and can be stowed under the drivers seat when you need to lock your firearm in the car.

Take your time, make it fun and you'll know when she is ready. I do strongly agree with the others about friends. That is what would worry me the most and again you should be able to tell when she is ready to have the combo to the safe.

Have fun together, wish I could get my daughter into shooting.
Shawn

Sign both of you up for a safety class--a good one, don't skimp. This makes it a team thing--not something that just gets inflicted on kids--and it lets the 14 year-old know that this is so important, YOU made time for it and paid for it.

Some teenagers (and adults) "know it all already." By signing both of you up, you're saying, "I don't care if both of us know this, we're learning it again." They'll be plenty of time in the class for you two to talk over and decide how the gun will be stored, and why.

I should also add that I worry about friends because my best friend accidentally shot me with a 22 when we were your daughter's age.

Don't fret the age...they are ready when they are ready. Age is just a number. My youngest son was ready before my eldest despite the four year gap. The eldest just seems to get so happy and excited that I have to watch him and make sure he remembers to take bathroom breaks and watch what he is doing . If they're ready to participate with intense supervision at 6-8, well that's why ar's have collapsible stocks.

When I was an active hunter safety instructor I always shot a piece of plywood with a 12 ga. at 5 or so feet away as an accident to impress how you couldn't patch a hole that big with a bandage! Seemed to leave a good impression--again it was a surprise demonstration.

It's your call. As others mentioned, you know your daughter better than anyone. I will give you one idea.
Leave the gun where you normally would leave it, but remove the magazine and of course any chambered round. If the ammo is locked up you don't need to lock up the gun. Just carry the Mag in your pocket and you have access to the gun in a second.
Also there are a variety of locking devices that fit in the trigger if you haven't gone that route yet.
It's her peers you need to usually protect against, if they can't fie it, the thrill is gone.

It's too bad I feel I need to explain myself.

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Even the most experienced shooters here go to shooting classes Ally, it isn't anything personal. The fact that this is your first handgun is just all the more reason to get to one ASAP.

And fwiw, these classes will teach you much more and much better than 99% of LEO's

The classes will also teach you great ways to safely store your gun

"Mostly people who will also say, either openly or to themselves, that YOU shouldn't be shooting either."

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Don't listen to such. We're all learning and no one knows everything. If you're willing to take classes, you're on the right path.

I'm very pro-2a and feel you should be shooting more because you can and you want to. And me too, but these dang kids don't come with warranties and UNC Chapel Hill Hospital System wants their money...(healthcare may be off topic, but I can still say insurance/healthcare sucks because it cuts into my disposable income something fierce).

The question whether your daughter can be trusted to handle firearms safely, follow rules, and treat them with respect is not the problem.

The problem is can she keep her mouth shut? The problem is peer pressure. The worst case scenario would go something like this:

She has friends over and you are either not there or you are in the yard or something like that. While watching a movie or discussing a movie one of the friends says something about firearms. Your daughter inadvertently reveals that there is a REAL firearm in the house when she responds to the friend's comment about firearms. The friends become fascinated and WILL NOT LET IT GO until they can see it.

You can imagine the rest from there. Your daughter will lose control of the situation...the friends are not schooled in proper firearm safety and respect for firearms and they wont listen to her pleas. The gun goes off. Someone is hurt bad. The parents who are also ignorant about firearms will automatically blame you and your firearm.

When I had young kids at home, they were taught gun safety and familiarization at the age of 6. By taking the mystery out of it, they had no issues about trying to sneak a peek or similar. There was one loaded gun out of the safe - it was in my nightstand - they knew it was there - they knew to never touch it or tell their friends about it if they ever wanted to go shooting with me or be able to sit down again. It worked for me. Now and again when we go on trips, one of them will watch the house and dog - they know where that pistol is and a shotgun that is stashed somewhere else; again no issues

You know your child - introduce her, maybe buy a .22 and take her with you so she can see the fun side of things you are going to have to overcome years of school indoctrination, so go slow and easy, make her feel comfortable, and she might become your new shooting buddy

I grew up in the city in a house with firearms...always loaded and never locked up. I was sufficiently terrified of what my idiot friends would do around a loaded firearm that I would rather lie to them and say I'd ever even touched a firearm than to risk it.

Not all kids regard their own friends with that level of suspicion and distrust. When I was a kid, I regarded such kids who lacked suspicion and distrust with suspicion and distrust.

that's how cautious I was and to a certain degree I still am.

It seems to me a 14 year old girl is not very likely to keep her mouth shut. especially if she has no prior experience with firearms and has no older brothers.

oneounceload said:

When I had young kids at home, they were taught gun safety and familiarization at the age of 6. By taking the mystery out of it, they had no issues about trying to sneak a peek or similar. There was one loaded gun out of the safe - it was in my nightstand - they knew it was there - they knew to never touch it or tell their friends about it if they ever wanted to go shooting with me or be able to sit down again. It worked for me. Now and again when we go on trips, one of them will watch the house and dog - they know where that pistol is and a shotgun that is stashed somewhere else; again no issues

You know your child - introduce her, maybe buy a .22 and take her with you so she can see the fun side of things you are going to have to overcome years of school indoctrination, so go slow and easy, make her feel comfortable, and she might become your new shooting buddy

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I hope you don't really believe they never touched your loaded firearm when you weren't there. They most certainly did. But if they were properly educated they would be safe regardless whether you are there to supervise or not.

I know this might sounds ghoulish, but collect about five or six pictures of gunshot wounds (of legs or torsos, not faces) just to show her what can happen if guns are played with or handled irresponsibly. If you think she could use more of a reality check than that you could dig up a head wound picture.

Again, might sound gruesome but there are very valid reasons to show that type of very serious pictures to teens. When I started driving all it took to make me behave (still have never been in a wreck or gotten a ticket) was seeing an ejected passenger of a car wreck smeared on the pavement. I'm sure some people thought it was over the top at the time, but it sure worked for me.

Just my two cents.

Just so you realize... Taking a class or two isn't going to 100% prepare you for deadly encounters. If you haven't found out already, there is a lot of technique to shooting a handgun. Now, think about being amped up and trying to use that technique. You're going to have to practice continuously. Sometimes people make "training" a checkbox and check it off after they take their basic handling class.

It's like driving a car. You were showed how to drive and told how to drive, but it's nothing compared to hands-on experience. You have to control the car by "feel", not by carefully considered thoughts. There isn't enough time when the rear end is sliding out from behind you and oncoming traffic is headed your way. It's the same type of thing with guns and self defense.

I have 5 kids, and they all behave themselves very well around firearms.

First make sure you have read and understand you state and local laws regarding children and firearms, and take appropriate measures for your situation.


My advice:

Get a .22 and take her shooting.
Teach the rules. There are no exceptions to the rules.
No touching without permission and only under your direct supervision.
Lock it up.

With no prior gun experience start with the Eddie Eagle rules.

http://www.nrahq.org/safety/eddie/
http://www.nrahq.org/safety/eddie/infoparents.asp

As you take her shooting she should learn the other rules.

http://www.nrahq.org/education/guide.asp

I make my kids quote me the rules every time I hand them a gun. (Safe direction, finger off trigger, open the action make sure it's unloaded). I ask them where they are going to point it before I hand it to them.

Even after learning how to handle and shoot one firearm, that doesn't mean she is now allowed to pick up any old firearm... If you are unfamiliar with a certain gun, don't touch; get help.

Everyone has excellent input, but as you are well aware, only YOU know your daughter and only YOU know her friends (maybe not as well as you think you know them). You are also now well aware that this is quite a responsibility you are undertaking, it is admirable of you to be doing this, this could save lives, who knows when.

Most people who grew up with guns were around them before 14, that is not saying in any way that you are making a mistake, because you aren't. It is also not saying that your daughter of 14 is not capable of taking care of herself and live with a loaded gun in the house, eventually.

You sound like you are taking precautions, and it sounds like she has to "earn" her sessions with you and the gun.

I agree with others and with you that it is most likely NOT her that you need to worry about (not a good word)! It is her friends and the curiosity that goes along with being somewhat mature yet still a bit immature, and for some possibly real immature.

I don't need to tell you how to be responsible as you are already doing that.

For the time being, I would definately keep it locked in a safe or some kind of strong box that might be bolted to the floor. I was watching something about gun locks and kids were literally opening up the locks when their parents were not home, just by moving certain parts certain ways, or picking the lock. Make sure whatever lock you use is a good one in that NO ONE can open it without the key. A cable can be cut. I honestly don't know just how strong those locks are that they give you with the gun (cable wrapped in yellow rubber with a lock that looks kind of like a small Master lock).

Once you have your license and have taken all the courses, if she is interested, by all means do it with her! This can be something to really bond the two of you (I am not saying you need bonding, as I don't know nor do I care).

Welcome to the SPORT of guns!

Take her to the range and teach her to shoot, filter the BS out of the safety course and give it to her straight. Take her hunting and let her see what a bullet does to an animal. Remind her that it will do exactly the same thing to her or anyone else it gets pointed at because guns don't care what the target is.

I grew up in a house full of loaded guns and they were frequently employed for everything from killing rattlesnakes out of the yard to putting down injured horses. I don't ever remember not knowing the expected result of pointing a gun at anything. By the time my kids were big enough to shoulder a rifle they had seen dozens of gunshot wounds in excruciating detail while helping me process deer and feral hogs that we eat. They have never been afraid of guns but you'll not catch one of them pointing a weapon at anything they don't intend to kill in the next few seconds.

one word answer....

GunVault

http://www.gunvault.com/handgun-safes/multi-multi-deluxe.html

Don't bother with the bio-metric lock... the touch pad works great.

Bolt it to the floor, wall or something really heavy....

Get the Mulit to make room for your next aquisition...

I have one on each floor of my house, strategically located

handguns are condition 1, ready to rock, very quickly accessable and yet very secure....

I honestly think I went six years b4 changing the batteries on my original GV..... not that I recommend that.

Ally said:

"Mostly people who will also say, either openly or to themselves, that YOU shouldn't be shooting either."

Wow. That's quite a stretch of a judgment on me. FWIW, I shoot with a LEO, and everything I know at this point has been taught to me by a LEO.

It's too bad I feel I need to explain myself.

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I think what he was trying to say is that those who will say a 14 year-old shouldn't be handling a firearm are probably the same ones that will say NO ONE should be handling firearms.

At least, that's how I read it, and I'm trying to put the best possible meaning on what he said.

I don't think you need to explain yourself - you've had lots of opinions given, and I think the best path is training for the both of you and follow-up practice, too.

Demystification goes a long way. I'm ahead of you in that game in that my (almost) 9 & 11 year olds each have their own .22 single-shot bolt guns, and my son will probably get his own Browning Buckmark by summertime as a reward for excellent schoolwork.

Enjoy it, and yes, Center of Mass for the car and GunVault for the home is the way to go.

Re: your daughter...

It starts with a conversation, planted with strategic questions to discern what biases she already has...

Then share you concerns, and make sure she knows that you love her, it's your job to protect her, and a handgun is just another tool to achieve those ends (as are door locks, motion sensor lights, cell phones, etc...).

Give her some time to process all of that and then tell her that it's important for you to discuss basic gun safety with her, since you now have one in the house. This is when you show it to her the piece, teach her the four rules and discuss your "house rules". Make sure you address what she is to do if she ever comes accross the gun unattended (don't trust yourself to never fail to secure it properly).

Then on some other occasion, tell her what a blast you had at the range and how you can't understand why everyone is so paranoid about guns. Give her an open invitaion to tag along the next time you go.

Times sure have changed.

When I was in pre-school (private), Pappa Bill brought in a "huge" revolver (looked big to a 4 year old), showed it to the class, talked about gun safety and then passed it around for each of us kids to hold. If we were good, he would cut off a stub of an old leaky garden hose and nail it to a little block of wood so we could play cops and robbers or cowboys and indians. >40 years ago and I can still remember these events as clear as a bell, they made such a huge impression on me.

I shoot with a LEO, and everything I know at this point has been taught to me by a LEO.

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Glad you have a trainer/buddy that you feel comfortable learning from...

Being an LEO and being highly proficient with firearms do not necessarilly go hand in hand, however. In fact, I'd suggest many (most?) LEOs are not really "gun nuts".