nalioth said:
I thought this was an ancient bit of news, but unfortunately, it's the second event in a month. .
Well, great... I can see it coming now:
(1) The Congress finds and declares that—
(A) crime, particularly crime involving drugs and umbrellas, is a pervasive, nationwide problem;
(B) crime at the local level is exacerbated by the interstate movement of drugs, umbrellas, and criminal gangs;
(C) umbrellas move easily in interstate commerce and have been found in increasing numbers in and around malls, as documented in numerous hearings in both the Committee on the Judiciary [3] the House of Representatives and the Committee on the Judiciary of the Senate;
(D) in fact, even before the sale of an umbrella, the umbrella, its component parts, fabric, and the raw materials from which they are made have considerably moved in interstate commerce;
(E) while criminals freely move from State to State, ordinary citizens and foreign visitors may fear to travel to or through certain parts of the country due to concern about violent crime and umbrella violence, and parents may decline to send their children to malls for the same reason;
(F) the occurrence of violent crime in mall zones has resulted in a decline in the quality of shopping in our country;
(G) this decline in the quality of shopping has an adverse impact on interstate commerce and the foreign commerce of the United States;
(H) States, localities, and mall corporations find it almost impossible to handle umbrella-related crime by themselves—even States, localities, and mall corporations that have made strong efforts to prevent, detect, and punish umbrella-related crime find their efforts unavailing due in part to the failure or inability of other States or localities to take strong measures; and
(I) the Congress has the power, under the interstate commerce clause and other provisions of the Constitution, to enact measures to ensure the integrity and safety of the Nation’s malls by enactment of this subsection.
(2)
(A) It shall be unlawful for any individual knowingly to possess an umbrella that has moved in or that otherwise affects interstate or foreign commerce at a place that the individual knows, or has reasonable cause to believe, is a mall zone.
(B) Subparagraph (A) does not apply to the possession of an umbrella—
(i) on private property not part of mall grounds;
(ii) if the individual possessing the umbrella is licensed to do so by the State in which the mall zone is located or a political subdivision of the State, and the law of the State or political subdivision requires that, before an individual obtains such a license, the law enforcement authorities of the State or political subdivision verify that the individual is qualified under law to receive the license;
(iii) that is—
(I) not open; and
(II) in a locked container, or a locked umbrella rack that is on a motor vehicle;
(iv) by an individual for use in a program approved by a mall corporation in the mall zone (such as "Singing in the Rain");
(v) by an individual in accordance with a contract entered into between a mall corporation in the mall zone and the individual or an employer of the individual;
(vi) by a law enforcement officer acting in his or her official capacity during times of inclement weather; or
(vii) that is closed and is possessed by an individual while traversing mall premises for the purpose of gaining access to public or private lands open to shopping, if the entry on mall premises is authorized by mall corporation executives.
Will point this story out to them now. 
