Kids Say the Darndest Things

Awesome

Blessed is he whose children understand.

Further blessed is he whose children assail him with "ME TOO!"

Start 'em early, bring 'em up right.

Love it!

I just posted a similar tale in another thread. I'll post it again here for a good laugh.


One of the funniest things I've ever heard him say resulted in water coming out of my nose.

He and I were having burgers at a local fast food joint when he spotted a guy wearing cammo pants. He was really studying this guy, with a thoughtful expression on his face, for a good minute or two before this gem came from his mouth with a perfectly straight face and matter of fact tone:

"Oh, he's wearing hunting pants. <3 or 4 second pause > He is going to go into the woods and fight a deer, and he is going to punch one in the face."

The mental image that popped into my head was too much, and I practically sprayed water all over the table.

Yep, kids say the darndest things.

Those of you with children, love them dearly, listen to them, do everything with them, some day they won't be around all the time, they will most likely be busy with their own family!

Out of all the things in life that I miss, it is having a child, or having children. I am to the age now where it really is just about too late to even consider it, however, when I see a child with his or her father, I cannot help but ponder all the neat things they get to do together! I think of all the things I could teach 'junior' and it makes me sad. So, enjoy them while you can!

My kid story was told here over 3 yrs ago.. short version:

My old best friend from childhood came down to visit me in "The Real South" dragging his new extremely, (how can I say this without offending) "urban" wife..
Being polite my 7yr old son gave his bedroom to the couple so they could have a bed.
The new urban wife refused to sleep in my son's room but not for the expected reason (not displacing my son) rather she would NEVER sleep in a room with a rifle on the wall.
I quickly explained the child's "Chipmunk" was not loaded, but she stormed out.

My 7yr old son tugged on her blouse and said:
"Don't be afraid, it isn't alive & can't hurt you"

I was running an Archery class for parks and rec in july. One of the kids (he was maybe 12 or 13) asked me if I hunt, and I said I'd like to, I just haven't gotten around to it. one thing led to another, and he asked what kind of rifle I have. I told him it was a Savage 30-06. His eyes got really wide, and he said "Wow, thats a big gun."

Just a couple days ago, I was at work, and wearing my street clothes, including this tshirt - http://6dollarshirts.com/t-shirts/Zombie-Uprising--p-11299.html (Its a tee shirt website. If you can't open the link, it shows a tshirt that says "incase of zombie uprising, sever the head" and depicted a machete, a chainsaw, a shovel, a bat, and a short barrel shotgun.)

One of the swim camp kids (I work at a pool) saw it, and asked if it was a sawn off shotgun, I said yes, it was, because the barrel was cut level with the mag tube, and the stock had been ground off into a pistol grip. I then explained that while it can be concealed better, a shotgun with a full stock is easier to use, due to faster sight alignment and reduced percieved recoil. If I'd had more time, I probably would have tried to give the kid a lesson on small arms tactics (granted, I'm far from an expert on the subject.)

Chris "the Kayak-Man" Johnson

Kid: "Wow, is that gun real"
*gestures to my AK-103.*
Me: "It is."
Kid: "That's a big gun."

nobody here has funny kids?

Every time my 6 year old daughter says "Daddy, can we go shooting again?" it just melts my heart

Then, I break out her Crickett .22 and take her.

My kids are in their 30's now. So I will relate a line from my grandson.

He was 4 yrs old and had a toy rifle. It made lots of noise...my sons "good" friend picked this rifle especially with my son in mind . It also had a light. We were in grandsons bedroom so he could show me his gun. " Do this and it makes this sound....do this and it sounds like this" "Let me show you the light...well you can't see it. Wait, let me TURN ON THE DARK" so he reaches up and flips off the lamp.

OK...I know it wasn't a real gun....it was the best I had.

Mark

I took my 2 1/2 year old daughter into the pawn shop a few weeks ago to look at the guns. We got to the counter and she looks at the guns, turns to me and says "Daddy, those are GUNS! We can take one of the guns, and we can shoot an elk with it (makes gun firing noise). Then we can take it home and EAT it!"

The older gentleman that was also looking at the guns turned around slowly with a big smirk on his face and voiced his approval. I think maybe she's heard a few too many elk hunting stories

Coming back from Germany right after the first Gulf War which I had deployed to.The following happened.
We (Wife, four yearold son and I) are going through customs in Atlanta. I have the luggage and my gun case. so luggage clears and the have me open the case in it is wifes 45 mine and two rifles one being my mini 30 with the folding stock next to it. So customs guy ask what do you do. Before I can pull my military Id my son yells he kills People that need killlin. needless to say it took a while longer to clear customs.

I expected the punch line, after she pushed the button, to be, "Why didn't I go to the internet, Daddy? I'm still here."

My nephews are brought up in a gun / hunting family. Everytime we are out and see deer one of the adults asks, what are those (pointing to deer)?
They answer, deer.
What do we do with deer? We kill them and then we eat them.

I have a nephew that if you ask him how the cow goes he says moo, the dog goes ruff, etc. If you ask him how the deer goes, he says BANG!

I'm still trying to figure out why "urban" wife had any revelance to the story......why couldn't it just be he bought his wife....

ohioshooter said:

I'm still trying to figure out why "urban" wife had any revelance to the story......why couldn't it just be he bought his wife....

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I do believe it's illegal to buy a wife.

Start 'em early, bring 'em up right.

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I raised my son around guns from a very early age. Despite a part of his family that are not as gun friendly as others, he likes to shoot. Now he's a little older and has his own opinions, he still likes guns... family, freedom, and other stuff that makes me happy.

One night a lady friend come over to my house. She's from a country that doesn't have guns embedded into their culture quite like we do. She found the .45 that I keep under my pillow. It wasn't that big of a deal at the time, she asked if the gun was loaded and I replied "what would be the point in putting an unloaded gun under the pillow?" (I don't have a night stand)

She come back over later on and my son was there. She mentioned the gun again in a casual way, and said something to the effect of "as long as they aren't loaded." My son looks at her and says "I'm pretty sure his gun is loaded otherwise he wouldn't keep it under the pillow, he'd lock it up with the rest of them." She looked puzzled and said "the rest of them?" I suppose she thought I was joking when I said it, she took him a little more seriously. I thought I was going to spit my tea out at this point. He says "yes, he has a bunch of guns, but he only keep 3 or 4 of them out. Have you seen the spare bedroom?"

I wonder sometimes if he did that just so that he could eat her diner.

I make my 8 year old recite the 4 safety rules in the car while we drive to the range. This is a condition that he must satisfy before we get there and fire his Cricket. We do this every single time we go.

The last time I went, he recited the four rules and then said:

"And number five: guns are always fun."

Smart boy.

My oldest two daughters just came back from a week at summer camp...

Of the dozen or more activities to pick from (they get to chose three) they picked marksmanship/archery and had their targets from the .22 LR range packed in their bags to show me.

One has a birthday coming up, I need to get her a decent youth bow so we can practice in the yard.

Mike1234567 said:

I do believe it's illegal to buy a wife.

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I think you just have to get your county's sheriff to sign off on it and then you pay $200 fee to gov. I hear the urban ones are a little more pricey...

I remember about a year ago overhearing my son (almost 4yo at the time) explaining to our english bulldog (Dixie) basic gun safety with his nerf guns before she could join him in a nerf war. She was just laying there staring at him like she was bored out of her mind (if you've ever owned a lazy english bulldog...you know what face I'm talking about). He was as serious as a heart attack tho. Definitely one of those "wish I had my camera" moments.

I don't know if it is cute or not, but I have a 12 year old that will volunteer to clean all my guns after a shooting day just because he "loves it." Can't beat cheap labor...

Here's one that will make you chuckle:

Extremely anti-gun coworker at a holiday meet-n-greet: "Can you believe that the guy in that shooting recently in ____? I hear they found almost 500 bullets at his house, a sniper rifle and several of those assault clips [she might have said banana, I forget]."

My sometimes outspoken 8 year old: "Yes ma'am, that is weird. Daddy keeps waaaaay more than that at home and he's not even planning on shooting people."

ForumSurfer said:

My sometimes outspoken 8 year old: "Yes ma'am, that is weird. Daddy keeps waaaaay more than that at home and he's not even planning on shooting people."

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LOL!!

Not gun-related at all, unless you count that we were on the road to make a gun trade...

Me, the wife, and two daughters(4 and 8) pulled off the highway just south of Dallas to stop for fuel.

We put the blinker on and there was a skinny/lanky Spanish teenager/maybe early 20's riding a bike, with the top/front of his hair shaved off and a ponytail.

My 4 y.o. says "Daddy! That man has a mustache on his neck"