Minority Living with AntiGun Majority

Short Answers.

No. Nobody in my family hates guns.

No, I don't deal with it.

I would not date nor marry a woman who demanded I not have guns in my house.

I've been happily married for 20 years.

deleted my bad advice...

I can offer just one thing...don't listen to anyone...these things have to come from your heart and what is right for you. You and only you can know.

Miracles do happen. When we were dating and when we first got married, I had a few guns, but was not doing anything with them, so I didn't really realize that my wife was close to being a full blown hoplophobe. Not anti, but near phobic. She never pressured me to get rid of them, but didn't want them to be readily at hand.

Then came a murderous weekend in Detroit where I worked. She decided that she wanted me to carry, and she decided that she would join me in the class for togetherness sake. The range exercises almost freaked her out. She had to be faced down range and the gun inserted into her hand. Then she decided she needed to practice and get more training. Now she has more guns than I do, and carries when and where legal.

Do note: She decided to change herself, I did not push.

You two are not even married yet, and she is already dictating how you will live your life.

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That would be my reason for questioning things. If you're the type that can live with someone telling you how to live ten go for it. If not....

Praxidike said:

It's more of an annoyance than anything. It just gets old having to hide the crap, explain myself, and not dealing with all the drama...

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Then stop doing it. You give them the power to do that to you. You're not talking about drugs, or some weird sex fetish toys, or anything even odd. Half of American households have a gun in it. It's about as American as football Sundays and baseball summers.

So get it out of your head that gun ownership is wrong. They're the ones with the problem, not you. Just proceed with your life and stop playing defense.


I'd have a huge problem with someone who put out ultimatums like that. It's not about the guns; ultimatums are about someone controlling someone else.

Praxidike said:

I'm going to let her read some of these post

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Yeah, OK. Let us know how that works out for you.

You can't battle emotion with logic. A self-assured, "I'm sorry honey, but I can't have a relationship with someone who has started issuing ultimatums before we're even married. But I'm glad you told me now and not later." Followed up with a sudden scarcity for a month or two while you pursue your life would be much more effective.


However . . . you'll have to square this one with me . . .

Last month you started this thread in Legal:

Visitation - Children - Firearms

My ex wife is extremely liberal and is 100% anti-gun which is strange because here father is a hunter and eats venison (she has as well). Anyway, at a recent custody visitation hearing, she found out that I legally own a firearm, and she brought it to the judges attention as if I was committing a crime or was some how a danger because of it. In the finial visitation order, the liberal judge stated that I'm not allowed to have my firearm when my child is around. Basically, I can not legally conceal carry or have my firearms in my home during my visitation. Now, I could understand this if there was any history of me legally exercising my 2nd amendment rights somehow endangered my children in the past (like me leaving a loaded gun on laying around), or even if I had a violent criminal past, but I do not.

My question is, can this legally be enforced and is this even legal for a family court judge to right into a visitation order?

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So let me get this straight. You went through this once already. You have a child from that marriage, and the two of you obviously don't get along right now, otherwise she wouldn't be giving you this kind of grief before a judge in a visitation hearing.

And you're about to repeat the same mistake again.


What am I missing?

Oh man.

You've already divorced one anti-gun liberal who has tried to use your gun ownership against you in kid custody matters.

And now, you're about to go down that road again?

I say this with as much compassion and goodwill possible.

But if you do go down this road again, you will deserve every bad thing that comes out of it.

I live near Chicago....doesn't get much more anti gun then that area...... but we pushed back for a loooong time and now we will be able to ccw.

never, never, never give up in what you believe. promote it, encourage it, enable it, teach it.

todays anti gun person as yet to be raped, robbed, beaten and then will become tomorrows gun carrying individual....

And you're about to repeat the same mistake again.


What am I missing?

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That history really DOES repeat itself?

That those who do not study history are destined to repeat it?

The OP has 6 pages with a very common theme, yet there is the emotional attachment involved. Whether he will come to his senses before he loses another half of everything he owns, is entirely up to him

So OP you sensing a trend here?

Praxidike said:

LOL mine too man. All my family are New York Liberals... I figured there would be more who were in my situation, but I guess not. I'm not too worried about the fiance, or the fam. It's more of an annoyance than anything. It just gets old having to hide the crap, explain myself, and not dealing with all the drama... Because most of you have not had to deal with it, it's like being an Atheist in living in a deeply religious town with deeply religious family...

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Just an annoyance? Things that "annoy" you now will be what drives a wedge between you later. You'd be surprised what you THINK you can put up with that down the road leads to a lot of bitterness between you two. Drama? You ain't seen nothin' yet...let this charade continue for a few more years into marriage and you'll get to see some real drama. Religion and politics are two things that should not be mixed when getting married if you ask me.

The fact that you hide your guns from your family tells me that you probably aren't ready for an open an honest relationship which is an absolute must in marriage.

As for my wife...I have a completely different problem. I have to worry about her out-shootin' me in front of my friends and family. It happens more than I'd like to admit...

Stop hiding it! When you hide it, you are confirming to them that they are bad things. Don't FLAUNT it, either. You own and carry guns as a matter of fact. It's reasonable; it's sane; and it's something you are going to continue to do. Have the conversations, and have them in a productive way. They don't have to accept it, but you shouldn't imprison yourself for the sake of placation.

There is no reason you can't have your fiance AND your guns. If each is vital to you, then it should not be YOUR choice. It should be hers. You don't want to hear this, but if she would give you up because of your guns, then she's not worth it. Plus, if you start caving on this stuff before you are even officially together, then you will NOT be happy down the line. It won't stop.

From a "systems therapist" perspective, I'd be interested in how conversations usually go with your family and fiance. How does it come up? Who brings it up? What's the tone? What are the hidden messages? How do you respond? How do they respond to your response? What kinds of thoughts and/or emotions are present during the conversations? I hypothesize that there is a "vicious cycle" of communication involved that is making this unnecessarily unproductive for you.

My wife didnt like guns

1) I took her to the range
Hint hint...... The caliber is 22..... Not 44 magnum for the initial shoot

2) I showed her the articles of home invasion
And asked...... What would you do???

3) I showed her the NRA articles of people protecting themselves

She still doesnt love guns, but she will shoot someone who breaks in

This situation would never happen to me. My first date would be a plinking session. Then some wine and dinner. One of the joys of being a southern redneck. I am not very sophisticated. Any woman can figure out what I am all about in an hour or so. I have been married for 26 years. Most of my friends have been married for a long time.

Oh gimme, gimme a redneck girl!

Dump her. You're potentially exposing yourself to a lifetime of misery. She's afraid of guns. Wait until you have a big argument and she's afraid of your guns. She gets an order of protection and you lose your guns forever. Or wait until you have to sell all your guns to pay her in the inevitable divorce.

Move on, you may be blinded being in the fiance stage, but there's plenty of women out there you can have just as much fun with.

This is why I met my present wife using "Hannidate" Sean Hannity's website for conservative singles.

I was married to a liberal for 5 years, it was kind of like having a pet human.

HexHead said:

Dump her. You're potentially exposing yourself to a lifetime of misery. She's afraid of guns. Wait until you have a big argument and she's afraid of your guns. She gets an order of protection and you lose your guns forever. Or wait until you have to sell all your guns to pay her in the inevitable divorce.

Move on, you may be blinded being in the fiance stage, but there's plenty of women out there you can have just as much fun with.

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^^^^^^^^^
I have to agree, and a very important point for the OP to consider....

It has been one of the rare pleasures of my life, to have an ex girlfriend who was anti 13 years ago, have her own children, and ask me to teach her a concealed carry class.

Yeah, you're probably right. Praxidike was on last night and didn't address his thread.


Closed for mopery with intent to gawk.


If he wants to come back and discuss it further, he's free to PM a Moderator to ask us reopen it.