I was threatened yesterday afternoon...

KR, brother,

If you need to get away from what is obviously a volitile situation, you are more than welcome to crash on my couch for awhile. Like you said, it's only 43 minutes from there to here. After the spectacular arguement I had with my fiance this evening, I'll probably need a new friend to talk to for a few days anyhow.

The invitation is open. Also, Oleg lives less than 10 minutes away from me, there are plenty of guns for us to shoot, and I'm a pretty decent cook. Oh yeah, the VA hospital isn't far either. The only downside, I'm in the midst of packing up to move soon, so you'd have to endure some boxes stacked up all over the place.

Frank

Hmmm, I have a vision of how to get your guns back by this.

KR:

What gets me is that when its domestic violence against a man (and unfortunately this is domestic violence) it is not taken seriously. It sucks. I have been on your end and I know what it feels like and I know what you are going through. You are stepping up to the plate, and trying to do something about it. It's not as if she hauled off and slapped you, she pointed a loaded weapon at you and threatend your life. All she had to do was pull the trigger, and it would be over for you.

Continue to be adament on this situation, and let them know that you are in fear of your life. If you weren't you would not have posted this thread. Again, take this to an attorney and get that restraining order. Feel free to PM me if you would like additional advice.

And again, good luck and stay safe.

KR, REALLY sorry to hear about this. I have seen similar problems personally, although not on THIS scale. In fact, I am battling (and have battled) the threats too. In my case I called her bluff - and it SEEMED to have worked. BUT I wouldn't recommend it. I took a BIG chance - not likely worth it considering the potential outcome!

Be sure you think about everything with a clear head and don't do anything impulsive (like I did). You might not end up as lucky.

I understand about taking that bullet. If my situation HAD escalated and I had been staring down the barrel of her gun, I HONESTLY do not think I could have defended myself - at least not with deadly force. I'd keep telling myself "it wasn't really her" or "she doesn't understand what she is doing".

That's why I think she might be more dangerous to you than the typical BG that you (likely) COULD defend yourself against.

I don't know your exact situation so please forgive me if I made any bad assumptions here. The main thing is to take care of yourself the best you can. As always, try to avoid any dangerous situations if possible. I won't repeat what others' have said but there is a lot of good advice here.

Take care of yourself!

Logistar

Run, don't walk.

Bad situation indeed. Wish you the best.

KR, I am very sorry to hear about this. As I recall she used to post either here or TFL (do I remember that right?). If I'm remembering right it seemed that she was an intelligent person, it is too bad it has come to this.

I'm assuming from your post (and unwillingness to draw on her if she draws on you- a willingness to take a bullet FROM someone is a pretty strong statement) that you still love her. If so, this must be especially hard, I can't even imagine. If I could take some of the pain from you upon myself I would, but I can't.

My thoughts and hopes are with both you and her that you both get through this difficult period unscathed physically, and as unharmed emotionally as possible.

Of course, try to get that restraining order (as you say you are), try to see when the sheriffs office confiscates the guns if you can get them back (those that are in your name and not hers on that yellow form anyway), and talk to mutual friends, her family, and anyone who she trusts who will talk to you about getting her the medical and possibly psychiatric/psychological help she probably needs right now.

Will,
Get outta Dodge,,,now.

My ex is in prison right now for attempted murder for shooting husband #5. I went into a few details of it elsewhere.

Right now, distance is your best friend.

KR- if you're really tired of living, I can't help you.

But I for one do NOT want to read about you in the papers! And I can't belive that as someone who's still walking around after having been through so very much, that you could just lie down and give up now. Not for this.


If you do not want to stand and fight (a respectable decision) then you MUST GET THE HELL OUT, NOW!

Do it immediately, put the house on the market and take everything you need with you, and fire up that damn Bonanza. The plane will do you no good while you bleed to death on the floor with 5 JPHs in your chest.

You need to dissappear

Something else to consider in the immediate future is a light kevlar vest, something that will stop a .38... you could get one for under $500.

I would second the vest idea. Big time. Get it before she gets served. One of those ones that wears like a t-shirt and is almost invisible. If she went off the deep end when you changed the locks, she's going to freak for real when she gets served. Be ready for it. Best thing is to be gone. If you can't be gone, be ready.

Given your apprehension about defending yourself in this situation and the impossibility of reconciliation...that leaves one option: be gone. In the short term, be gone from the house, at the very least. In the long term: be gone from your life.

Sorry to hear about these troubles, buddy. But you know full well that now it's time to sigh, tuck in your shirt and do what has to be done. None of us want to read about you in the paper. There's been enough tradgedy around here of late.

Good luck to you.

- Gabe

{{{{Will}}}} I am so sorry to hear you have to go through this. The judge is going to ask you if she has any weapons in her house (there should also be something on the actual papers). You need to clearly state that she DOES have (your) firearms & a CCW. It would also be wise to list what guns she has, so when they go to confiscate them, they get ALL of them and not leave her with anything she might have hidden. Be sure to tell the Judge she stole those firearms from you, hopefully you will get them back. If you don't get them back, as horrible as that is, you can always get new ones later. Your main concern right now is getting the guns away from her. Trust me, as soon as she is served, that is the most dangerous time with protection orders, she's going to flip. It all depends on how much she loves her freedom, if she is scared of going to jail, she probably will stay away but if she's too wacked out to care about freedom, watch your six. I would highly advise getting yourself a lawyer that specifically deals with Domestic Violence cases only. They deal with this stuff day in and day out, and can do a lot more for you than a 'regular' lawyer. If you can't afford one, there are many places that offer free legal help, and trust me, those lawyers are just as good as any high priced ones.

Also, start a journal! Each time she calls the house and/or comes over LOG IT! Make a full report of the incident in that log, dates, times, exact places. When you go to court, it's going to be much easier on you if you can show some kind of proof. Judges love well detailed logs and it will help your case tremendously! If she left any messages for you the other night, record them or save it. Nothing better than threats coming right out of their mouths for all to hear. Keep in mind that she's probably going to try spinning this on you trying to make it your fault, so you really want to back your statements up as much as possible.

Lastly, if you can get away from there, definitely go! When you move, get an unpublished number, and limit the amount of people that know your whereabouts. Distance is your best bet.

Good luck Will, I'll send some prayers that way.

Kentucky Rifle,
I want to second Gewehr98's invitation to come down to the Brevard County area. You have a ready support group down here of at least 2 THR members and we have an awesome NRA range in Palm Bay that has facilities for Skeet, Trap, Action, Long Range Rifle, and various Pistol disciplines. I don't have a room to put you up in like Gewehr98 unfortunately, (spare room got taken by the new baby) but I can offer moral support. I don't think I could defend myself against my wife if I was ever put in that situation either...the suggestion of the bullet proof vest sounds like a good idea to me, if the locks made her angry the restraining order will probably enrage her. Don't give up hope.

What was the original gun theft situation?

First, OT a bit:
KR, it looks like I'm mistaken as to my earlier comments about you not caring for LE. I had thought that you posted a comment that stated something like "most LEO's don't even know the law", but after performing a search, didn't see it. So, in the fashion of idiots everywhere, I will now eat crow and hope that you accept my most humble apologies.

2nd, and back ON topic:
My offer to you for any assistance you may need, and that I'm able to help with (in the PM I sent to you), still stands. Again, as I mentioned in the PM, both my wife and I are in local LE here in Louisville, and if there's anything I can do to help out a fellow gun "nut", let me know. Good luck with things, and can someone give me a good recipe for both crow, and humble pie?

Hi KR...

I'm glad to see you posting, but I feel for you, brother. I was in a similar situation with my ex and I have to reiterate- MAKE YOURSELF SAFE FIRST.

If you can swing the cost without undue distress to yourself, get the recorder on the phone, record her voicemails to your phone, tape any interactions. The vest may be excessive, but sometimes extreme circumstances make for extreme measures.

My divorce took almost 4 years to complete. I still have repercussions from it, as she has obtained (several) credit cards in my name with my ID info and let them go into chargeoff (since the divorce was final 9 years ago). I'm in the process of getting this taken care of now, only after discovering my credit has been blown to hell. Hopefully this will not occur to your soon-to-be-ex.

Sounds like it's time to take the dogs and consider a move to Florida.

Holler if I can be of any assistance...an ear, a shoulder, a hand up, ok?

Regards,
Rabbit.

KR,

It sounds like it may be a good time to relocate. Once gone, make sure she can't easily find you. May I suggest How to be Invisible as a good reference for staying hidden.

~W

Sorry to hear about that Will, Hope everything works out for you.

I had an ex live in gf that was a drunk.she hounded me after I kicked her out .phone calls all nite long,blocking me in wherever I went,stuff mysteriously getting broken in the yard...she even called me at work and made death threats. tell her(or if you want family involved..tell her family also) next time if she continues to harass you,you will get a restraining order against her.call the phone company and get the ball rolling on harassment by telephone.it wont stop until you do something about it-then-itll get worse but eventually..it will get better.if she calls on the phone tell her youre calling the phone company and the police then say nothing more and hang up.

Glad to hear you're feeling better KR. Keep your chin up and everything will work out. Just don't drop your guard.

As KMKeller said... don't drop your guard.

You're still better off out of there. The financial hit is better than a perforated thorax.

My initial advice stands. Execute Manouvre ****. Worry about pennies when you're still tight-fitting all over, skinwise.

KentuckyRifle... my gut is screaming at me that you're in the worst possible place Right Now! The Legally Defended Victim Space!

You can still run the numbers from elsewhere. Be elsewhere, I beseech you.

KR:
Stay safe and persevere - it does get better eventually. Awful sorry to hear of your situation.

Kendra said:

It's not as if she hauled off and slapped you, she pointed a loaded weapon at you and threatend your life. All she had to do was pull the trigger, and it would be over for you.

Click to expand...

Just to be clear, KR didn't say that. He said:

"She said some really filthy things, and then threatened me.
She carries a .38 special snub and I expected it to come out any second.

Click to expand...

Dex

As others have said, ****. My Best friend went through this, spent a lot of time at my house, I spent more time at his house, his Dad was there as well. I kept a gun close by, If she had to be shot (shudder) I felt it was better for me to do it. If you have friends close by, become there back pocket when possible.
Keep your head up, chin over your shoulder. It will get better, I became lots closer to my friend. There is lots to live for, if nothing else your guns WILL come home soon.
Best of luck, stay out of the newspaper.
Tony

KR:
Please do not become over confident regarding your safety ,gas up that plane and go away for a couple of weeks.Tell your lawyer where you're going and a trusted friend or two, but no one else. I do belive its time to get out of Dodge NOW! Good luck buddy, watch your six
Mike