I was threatened yesterday afternoon...

Be careful man...

In Minnesota you only need one parties (your own) permission to record conversations. If you are not already taping, I would suggest asking your lawyer if it is legal to tape record things in your state.

Be careful not to do what many people do. That is thinking you are safer and safer as time goes by because nothing bad has happened yet.

Good luck Kentucky Rifle.

Wow KR, I've been gone from the computer for a couple of days and I come back to this I feel like eveything has been said that could be said, but still wanted to post and let you know you and this poor lady will be in my prayers. I can't imagine what your going through. Please stay safe!! If life takes you to the heartland ( Kansas City metro) please drop me a pm and I will help out in any way possible.

KR,
I don't know how I missed this thread for so long. Bad situation. I feel bad for you, man.
Remember the part in Amityville Horror when the priest hears a voice? What did that voice tell him?
It said, "GET OUT!!"
That is the best advice I can give you.
Good luck.

Kentucky Rifle - after I graduated from high school, I was in a simular situation to yours, with the threat coming from a close family member. In my case it was my alcoholic father, and things were starting to become extremely violentwith him stalking family members and leaving threatening messages. This took place in Indiana. I now live in Virginia. Put as much ground as you can between you and her. Particulary since your not able to defend yourself against her. I would definitly invest in some passive protection like a vest, and get out of town for while. Even if you cant move permantly, at least visit someone. Id offer to let you crash at my house, but Im already a guest of my mom's, and there is no extra room . Staying in town is just going to make a volitile situation that much worse. So get out while your still alive, pick up a vest if you can, and stay safe. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Kr, the gun collection isn't worth your life. You can start a new gun collection. Besides it would probably cost more in the long run paying your lawyer thaen starting a new collection. As always best of luck.

KyRifle, if Florida ain't far enough away, you can always join an expatriated Kentuckian out here in the Great Pacific NorthWet.
You can fly right into Boeing Field or Everett. I live half way in between.
I have plenty of room and she'll never find you way out here.

KR-
I just caought this thread, and I can't add anything to the advice & opinions here offered, so I'll just wish you peaceful, speedy, and successful resolution to your travails. Take care of yourself and stay safe. Best regards, M2

KR.

Been there done that . My Ex Wife is a total Psyc job.Right now she is threatening me to call the cops for harrasment because I had the audacicty to ask for visitation with our daughter when she wanted me to let her new husband adopt her .:banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

These are cold hard brutal facts you need to know .
1.Do not screw around .
2.Chivalry is a nobel thing , but you will end up royally hosed .
3.When there is an altercation(It's is comeing and you will not be in control of the sistuation.) YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL.
The simple fact sad but true . It sounds so misogynst , but it isn't . The courts and the police will always take the word of the woman before the man .

The only hope you have is to file that DVRO now .Get that paper trail started as soon as possable .The only thing that saved me from a world of hurt was when my ex screwed up , and told a lie to the face of the cheif of police here .

I don't want to get into to many details here , but if you want more advise , info , or anything else PM me .

Easy answer.

Her friends are committing a felony. Report them stolen. The cops will get the guns for you.

But that she "is not going down to get it and her friends who have it won't give it to me".

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Hmmm...hate to say this, KR, but it sounds like she may have doled out your collection to her friends (who were probably delighted to get your fine firearms).



Hang tough!

Yeah, Will... gotta agree. If someone has your firearms and won't give them to either you or the ex, then it's now a job for the police. They'll get your guns back for you and put the witholding party in a world of hurt.

It's so hard to read about stuff like this. It's hard to leave everything behind, but that's probably the right thing to do. That gunshop deal sounds hard to pass up if your buddy decides to go through with it.

Stay safe, Will. We're all thinking of you.

Wes

Beautiful Downtown Quincy, MA

You know Kentucky, what worries me is that I don't think your law officers are taking this seriously just because of your gender. It's times like these, I'd advise a person to move to Quincy, Massachusetts -- they're dead serious about restraining orders and protecting those at risk -- men and women.

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Yeah, but leave your guns behind in MA. Nasty laws.

My partner's ex pulled a restraining order when they were getting divorced. One of her friends told her "If you're getting divorced you have to get a restraining order."

Went to court (in Brockton -- where the ex was living) we live in Quincy

The woman judge asked the ex why she wanted the order and all she could do was parrot what her friend had told her to put on the order because there was no reason for it. Judge kinda sorta lifted the order -- took out all the supervised visitation and no-contact stuff but left in a provision that BOTH parties behave themselves nicely.

When Quincy's Finest came and served the order he asked us: "Do you have any firearms in your possession?" The answer was "no" because they were all stashed with a 3rd party that the ex didn't know about. Still haven't mentioned them either.

Still stashed of course. Couldn't possibly have anything illegal in the house now could we? Besides, someone might get hurt.

Odd how Quincy, MA came up here. I'm a resident of Quincy.

Never had any experience with the restraining order process here. But, I do know that Quincy does seem to be very friendly when it comes to issuing Class A CCWs.

Last time I had to renew my Class A, I had to go to the PD to be fingerprinted. The detective who did the fingerprinting is leading me to the room where it's done and states, "I don't know why we even bother fingerprinting you guys. You're never the ones who commit crimes anyway."

We're supposed to be getting a new chief this summer. Don't know what his attitude is on firearms yet though.

KR, with your collection changing so many hands, I am not sure I would want them back. Can you prove the collection is yours?

Kentucky Rifle

I don't post here often, but I do read alot. Just wanted to let you know your in my prayers.

God Bless.

Agreed!

Andrea

Fairly new member here, I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. You hang in there. I had a marraige go bad(although it was nothing compared to yours). You must now look out for number one no matter how hard it is.

You mentioned you could not draw on her and I understand that. I couldn't have done that to my ex when we were splitting up. I don't know your financial situation but have you considered an Air Taser. It will give you a little more protection but is less than lethal. I don't know how good they are but just thought I would suggest it. Any chance is better than none. If you need anything it's yours.

http://www.airtaser.com/

Stay safe I hope all goes well.

Hope you're still checking in, KR

My ex just called an told me that I could have my gun collection back. But that she "is not going down to get it and her friends who have it won't give it to me". Is that not a nutty thing to say???

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I won't judge what's nutty or what ain't. But it does read to me like she's trying to get your attention. She may be figuring you'd ask her if both of you could go and get the guns together.

I hope you are following through with the restraining order business, and I think you need to involve the police every chance you get. As far as the guns go, I am not an attorney but you ought to ask yours about filing a replevin action to get the guns back. Here's one URL but you might google the term and see what else you can find: http://www.becker-poliakoff.com/publications/article_archive/replevin.htm .

Like everybody else, I feel bad for you and I think I can say I know something of what you are going through. All I can say is that it won't last forever. Just follow through with the legal stuff and keep all your wits about you. Things may get worse before they get better. And don't fear walking away from the whole mess for a while if that's what it takes. But I really think you'll have to face it sooner or later.

I think I have read all this thread but I may have missed this(if already adressed then just ignore): She's on hormone therapy and it is making her wildly different in personality and temperment? I have reason to know just a bit about this and what this means is NOT that there is something wrong with her. There is something wrong with her dosage/therapy and/or her doctor. Proper therapy exists to stabilize someone among similar personality traits to those before the medical procedure or illness that destabilized them. When the therapy itself is worsening the situation then that therapy is being adminstered wrong. If that continues and the physician knows it then the doc is a quack.

If you spent 26 years with this woman then I have to assume you liked her and she liked you. While that may legitimately change as a result of many factors, externally induced hormonal swings aren't among them. Of course, there's the problem. Does she want to fix it? Have you already talked to her about it? Will she talk about it? Does she have certain "low" points where she understands and dislikes the changes in her own psyche, even if she feels powerless to change them? Or is she at her worst and most agressive at these low points?

The simplest, safest thing(and almost certainly the smartest) is to walk away. Just like everyone else here has said. But almost three decades is a lot of time invested to throw away. If you can't reason with her how about family members? Some OTHER family physician? *shrug* I thought about this for quite a while before posting because I do not want to tell you to try and "do" something only to get you hurt. Don't want that on my conscience. OTOH after 12 years with a very wonderful woman she probably would have to shoot me to get rid of me.

Well meaning and good advice has been given so I am unable to add to it other than say trust your gut instincts in this matter. None of us are experiencing exactly what you are in this situation and can only attempt to offer solutions. Regardless of that, please accept my sincere sympathies for your trouble and dilemna. I am certain that aside from the aggravation, harrassment and threats from your ex you must also be feeling a host of other emotions as well. Take care, be well and stay safe, Mike