An unsafe gun friend

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by Bazoo, Apr 20, 2022.

  1. Bazoo

    Bazoo Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2021
    Messages:
    2,138
    Location:
    Cecilia, Ky
    I agree with all of the comments about him endangering myself and family and that there is no excuse for it.

    He is the type of friend that has helped me move. He came and mowed my grass when my mom was dying so I didn’t have to. He come and fed my outside dogs and scooped their pen when I was in the hospital. We go to his house for supper occasionally.

    I’m also friends in the same way with his son. Who is my age. And to a lesser extend one of his daughters. So it’s a pickle for me.

    I guess the main reason I’m reluctant to address it is I can count my friends on one hand. He is the one that if I need help, is most likely to help no matter what it is.
     
    DustyGmt and LoonWulf like this.
  2. Mark_Mark
    • Contributing Member

    Mark_Mark Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2021
    Messages:
    7,758
    Go take a safety class together! don’t sugar coat it, just tell him that you Love Him and it would mean alot if we did this together
     
  3. Artg56

    Artg56 Member

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2022
    Messages:
    67
    Location:
    WNC
    You’ve described a number of close calls and the odds are building against you. How will you deal with it when someone is injured or killed? Truth is that there are some people who are not disciplined enough to carry firearms and although they may be great as a buddy it’s time to find other interests that you can enjoy together.

    I wonder also, after accidentally shooting holes in homes and cars, why your buddy is not questioning his own competence.
     
  4. Gus Chiggins
    • Contributing Member

    Gus Chiggins Contributing Member

    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2020
    Messages:
    247
    Location:
    British Columbia, Canada
    Not dry firing would be a good start.
     
    Demi-human likes this.
  5. Night Rider

    Night Rider Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2022
    Messages:
    392
    Doesn't even have to be habitual. One strike and you're out.

    Really, given the known past history I wouldn't let him touch a gun in my home at all.
     
  6. bob97

    bob97 Member

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2013
    Messages:
    110
    Location:
    Bayou City, TX
    Jesus man I got lots of really good friends from the old days that i only see once a year or less. One i thought was going to kill me or a family member or himself just isn’t going to make the list of people I make time for.
     
  7. AJC1

    AJC1 Member

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2020
    Messages:
    6,668
    Location:
    Memphis
    Everyone has their own way of approaching a situation, and I find as a 23 year vet living with alpha males, a direct approach is the riskiest. You mention he is a Christian and you guys hang out a lot. I would be saying grace and asking our father to help your friend before someone is hurt. It's direct but not, and friends know your senserity if your close at all. Just an idea but a lot less aggressive.
     
  8. Bazoo

    Bazoo Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2021
    Messages:
    2,138
    Location:
    Cecilia, Ky
    Thanks AJC1. That’s a good idea.

    My wife suggested finding a YouTube video that is suitable and share with him. That is similar to the safety class idea. He is a big YouTube watcher. He once traded an otherwise good gun because of a bad YouTube review.
     
    LoonWulf and twarr1 like this.
  9. Hugger-4641

    Hugger-4641 Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2021
    Messages:
    1,551
    Location:
    West TN
    If he could stomach reading this thread about himself,... might wake him up.
     
  10. Bazoo

    Bazoo Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2021
    Messages:
    2,138
    Location:
    Cecilia, Ky
    That crossed my mind too.
     
    Heir Kommt Die Sonne likes this.
  11. twofewscrews

    twofewscrews Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2021
    Messages:
    199
    Location:
    Rochester, NY
    This is exactly what you need to communicate to him. You start with how much you value your friendship with him and his family, and then proceed to how his behavior with firearms is dangerous and needs to change.

    Does his son feel the same way you do? What about his daughter? Maybe talking to him with his son/daughter would be easier or have more of an impact going at it alone.
    If he is older then you, is it possible he gets all huffy and puffy because he views at in the "whats this youngling talking to me about, I'm older and wiser" kind of way?
     
  12. Bazoo

    Bazoo Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2021
    Messages:
    2,138
    Location:
    Cecilia, Ky
    I have discussed some of the issues with his son. The muzzling and safety off issues. The son said he wasn’t really sure how to address it cause he knows dad gets huffy. Said he’d try to pay attention when they shoot and maybe bring it up.

    The son doesn’t know about the NDs. He begged me not to mention it. I guess the son would “gun shun” him. It’d be no guns allowed maybe? I don’t know.
     
  13. Ironicaintit

    Ironicaintit Member

    Joined:
    May 7, 2015
    Messages:
    2,285
    Location:
    Colorado
    I'd probably be a bit harsh with him.

    I have a friend who's pretty green, and he kept sweeping me the first time we went shooting.

    I brought it all to a full stop and indelicately let him know that he needed to get his head together (edited for television) and focus, or we were done.

    he did not do it again.

    carelessness can get you killed!
     
  14. twofewscrews

    twofewscrews Member

    Joined:
    May 19, 2021
    Messages:
    199
    Location:
    Rochester, NY
    Then maybe the two of talking to him together might work, or at least if he gets all huffy it won't just be you being irrational but you, someone who cares for him as a friend, and his son talking to him men to man. You might decide to no longer shoot with him depending on how the conversation goes, but you might still be able to keep the friendship.

    This sort of sounds like his sons knows its happened before and made some kind of threat about it happening in the future . . . but I could be way off.
     
  15. bannockburn

    bannockburn Member

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2007
    Messages:
    25,014
    Bazoo

    This so-called "friend" is an ongoing accident waiting to happen. I don't know if he's suffering from ADHD but something going on in his brain is causing a major disconnect when it comes to safe gun handling.

    Time to lay down the law: either he cleans up his abysmal gun handling practices or else you're done going shooting with him.
     
    bdickens and Electricmo like this.
  16. Scooter22

    Scooter22 Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2012
    Messages:
    2,478
    Location:
    Central NY, not the rotten apple
    Bottom line is you and his son/family are enablers. I'll bet this guy has other issues thats causing him to be so careless. I've had same type people. They are gone. Not worth mine or my families life. Hate to say it but grow a set and set this guy straight. Or accept what could be a fatal event. No excuses.
     
    bdickens and Ironicaintit like this.
  17. bangswitch

    bangswitch Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2014
    Messages:
    1,384
    Location:
    western NC
    There are things you've said that worry me that at times, you're no more safe than he is:

    If you were to hand a fellow shooter a loaded shotgun on any of our clays ranges, safety on or not, you'd be permanently banned. You want to let someone shoot your gun, or vice-versa, that's okay, but you hand it to them unloaded and action open. So far as I am concerned that's the only way to hand any kind of firearm to someone else under any circumstance, and I teach basic handgun, rifle and shotgun classes.
    Goes back to what I just mentioned; you NEVER hand a loaded firearm to anyone, under any circumstances. He should unload the carry gun before he hands it to you to look at, and you hand it back to him the same way, and with the action open. That is basic firearm safety.

    The burned hand teaches best about fire.

    I got intimately acquainted with the USAF Combat Arms section of the base I was stationed at during Desert Storm, and let me tell you, the standards couldn't have been any higher or stricter. What did your friend do in the AF? Generally, base security and the police forces are the only guys who routinely use firearms, unless they're Spec Ops guys. I don't see him being any of those, if he was so cavalier about gun safety in the military. Even non-combatants have to take a basic rifle and handgun course and qualify in the AF; I was a Flight Nurse, technically a noncombatant, but our instructors were very strict about safety and would crawl all over anyone who muzzle flashed someone after being told not to.

    As for the rest of what you posted about him, friend or not, I'd never put myself into a situation where I was with him when he is armed. I would not allow him in my house, or on my property when he was armed, and if he is too obtuse or his pride is wounded, too bad. Better his pride than you or a loved one.

    Amen
     
    Scooter22 and Ironicaintit like this.
  18. GBExpat

    GBExpat Member

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2007
    Messages:
    6,940
    Location:
    Rural, far beyond the beltway, Northern Virginia,
    RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!

    2v2u1UKimxAW38L.jpg
     
  19. vintovka

    vintovka Member

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2020
    Messages:
    862
    Sorry but he's done and needs an intervention of the permanent kind such as felony endangerment charge. Better to lose a living friend than a lifetime of regret (or worse, no lifetime at all).
     
  20. AzShooter1

    AzShooter1 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2006
    Messages:
    790
    Location:
    Surprise, Az
    I just have a relative over and he wanted to show me his carry gun. Took it out of his pocket and immediately covered me. I moved very fast and told him what he did but he said that oh, he was safe.

    I had him put his gun away without me looking at it. I can live without him hurting someone in my house.
     
  21. entropy

    entropy Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2004
    Messages:
    14,298
    Location:
    G_d's Country, WI
    Two of my Trap guns don't even have safeties, and the ones that do the safeties stay off the whole Trap season, unless I am going to hunt with them.

    Ain't just young guys. We have a league member that reloads his pump immediately after he shoots, then stands like a Southern Sherriff with the butt on his hip with his finger in the trigger guard.

    And your 4E's don't have them either. ;)

    I won't shoot with one Brother-in Law because he is dangerous. He stood talking to me pointing his 9mm at my gut, safety off, finger in the trigger guard. I gently pushed the muzzle away from me and reminded him about the 4 rules. He did it again about 15 minutes later, I did the same, not as gently, and told him if there were a third time, he'd be looking down the bore of a .45 about 3 inches from his nose. I didn't offer him that opportunity, I packed up and left. He had the gall to ask me to go shooting with him after a while, and I refused. I worked with his wife, (my wife's sister) and she asked me why. So I told her. She agreed with me, but was hoping I'd do so just to get him off the couch, and I asked her "Which one do you want to be the widow, your sister or you?" she never brought up the subject again. I can't bring up the subject of guns or hunting at family gatherings because of him, unless he's out of earshot.
     
  22. AJC1

    AJC1 Member

    Joined:
    Jan 14, 2020
    Messages:
    6,668
    Location:
    Memphis
    ADHD literally has nothing to do with it and should be dealt with as required.... I've had it my entire life ad was the weapons department cpo on a trident... my son has adhd and is a model of gun safety at the range, the ro uses him as an example to nubs.

    Air force guy probably never was part of a weapons detail and definitely did not stand nwsg.
     
  23. Hugger-4641

    Hugger-4641 Member

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2021
    Messages:
    1,551
    Location:
    West TN
    No Southern Sherriff I know would do that, and I know a few. :cool:
     
    drband, entropy and AJC1 like this.
  24. Night Rider

    Night Rider Member

    Joined:
    Feb 16, 2022
    Messages:
    392
    I'm going to say this once and I'm going to shut up but based on past posting history I'm beginning to smell a troll.

    Y'all have fun

    Scouts Out.
     
    vintovka and Electricmo like this.
  25. Electricmo

    Electricmo Member

    Joined:
    Jan 20, 2020
    Messages:
    438
    ^^^^
     
    Night Rider likes this.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice