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AR vs AK. Finally. (Funny)

Discussion in 'Rifle Country' started by 8Balls, Feb 15, 2006.

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  1. 8Balls

    8Balls Member

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    Have you ever wondered which is the ultimate battlerifle, AR or AK?
    I found this piece from Finnish board, written by Max Penalty. Here is the final answer: (Translated by me, sorry for typos)

    AK: If regular cleaning is neglected, I wont compromise the weapons functionality.
    AR: Requires a daily cleaning session and special oil meant for laboratory instruments to work
    Mosin-Nagant: Cleaned during the continuation war in Viipuri (1944).

    AK: Accuracy. Enough to hit the broad side of the barn. From inside the barn.
    AR: You can easily hit the barn from 500 meters, and you can pick up the and re-use the bullets.
    M-N: Bullet pearces the both walls of the barn. In the next county.

    AK: Reliable and cheap magazines available.
    AR: Reliable or cheap magazines available.
    M-N: What is a magazine?

    AK: You can hear someone releasing the safety over mile way in battlefield conditions.
    AK: You can silently release the safety with a tip of your finger without changing your grip.
    M-N: ***? Safety?

    More to come...
     
  2. AK-74me

    AK-74me Member

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    Not trying to be the repost police but I believe this was posted a week or two ago.
     
  3. 8Balls

    8Balls Member

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    AK: You can use a cheap shoe lace as a sling.
    AR: Tactical 9-point adjustable aramid fiber sling system.
    M-N: You can use the sling to tow a T-34 tank, if necessary.

    AK: You can cut barb wire with the bayonet
    AR: You can open sausage pack with the bayonet.
    M-N: Longer than those to together.

    AK: You can shoot a hole that you can fit your finger in, through 10 inch tree.
    AR: You can shoot clean holes to match box from 100 meters and you can re-use the bullets that you take from the match box afterwards.
    M-N: The muzzle-blast knocks over all the plates and poppers in the range. Muzzle flame ignites all the paper targets withing 100 meters.

    AK: After you are out of ammo, you can use your AK as an effective close combat weapon.
    AR: After you are out of ammo, you can use your AR as flyswatter.
    M-N: After you are out of ammo, you can use your M-N can be used as club, bat, oar, iron bar, tent stick or firewood.

    AK: Recoil is mild
    AR: What recoil?
    M-N: You can use the recoil to fix your shoulder, which was dislocated by the last shot.

    AK: When you have adjusted the battlesights, you dont want to touch them again.
    AR: Sights are fine instruments that need constant adjusting.
    M-N: Iron sights are enough to distances up to 12 kilometers. And it has been tested.

    More to come.
     
  4. 8Balls

    8Balls Member

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    Ok, thanks, saved from doing a lot of translating... :)

    btw, what was the thread name? Just point me to right direction...
     
  5. AK-74me

    AK-74me Member

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    Not sure it was posted with all the text you wrote in a link
     
  6. GunnySkox

    GunnySkox Member

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  7. AJ Dual

    AJ Dual member

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    Uh…

    Rotating the cocking piece on a Mosin Nagant's bolt seems like a "safety" to me…

    No?
     
  8. Crosshair

    Crosshair Member

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    This series is different, keep it up.:p
     
  9. Crosshair

    Crosshair Member

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    AK: You can clean the gas system with a piece of cloth and a stick.
    AR: You can clean the gas system with small pipe cleaners and special cleaner.
    M-N: What's a gas system???

    AK: You can duct tape a flashlight to the handgaurd as a taclight.
    AR: You can mount a taclight to any one of your six M1913 rails.
    M-N: The muzzle flash lights up the immediate area better than a taclight, road flare, or tactical nuke.

    /I'll think up more later.:cool:
     
  10. benEzra

    benEzra Moderator Emeritus

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    I can relate to both of those... :D

    I think the point is that the safety on an M-N is not at all obvious and has to be pointed out, or you'll never know the rifle has one. I didn't know my M39 had a safety until I asked about it on TFL...
     
  11. 8Balls

    8Balls Member

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    Ill check whats missing...

    AK: Not everyone learns how to ride a bike or play the piano, but everyone can use AK to kill imperialists.
    AR: Targets usually dont know how to play a piano or ride a bike
    M-N: Too bad dinosaurs are extinct.

    And new ones:

    AK: The switch prevents things bigger than squirrels from getting in. That was added because of PETA.
    AR: 0.01 mm grain of sand will cause a jam.
    M-N: If you rule out big shrapnel from enemy artillery, there is nothing that can jam your M-N

    Fieldstripping:
    AK: 5 parts, lock is the smallest.
    AR: Bag full of small parts that can be misplaced or lost. If even one of them is missing your gun is useless.
    M-N; Take the bolt off, rinse it with diesel, urin or water then put it back. If you make the big mistake and detail strip the lock, you need a Finnish ww2 veteran to put it back together.

    Magazines:
    AK: Works as a bottle opener and cqc-weapon. You can make diy-flak jacket by putting 8 mags on your chest. The magazine lasts longer than the gun or the user.
    AR: Magazine is light and single use. Do not put 30 rounds to 30 round mag, because it was not designed for that. Magazines cause malfunctions, so you need at least 10 to sustain some kind of rate of fire.

    Accuracy, full auto:
    AK: Every third round hits, but one is enough.
    AR: Accuracy excellent, but it takes more than half of the magazine to stop the threat. Thats why you need at least 18 magazines.
    M-N: 5 hits IS fire power.

    CQC:
    AK: If the stock is shattered, you can use it as a bat.
    AR: G-forces ruin the buffer and carrier timing. Send your gun to USA for reconstruction.
    M-N: The target breaks before the the gun.

    Corrosion:
    AK: Corrodes, but it doesnt matter.
    AR: Seawater to AR is like holy water to vampire.
    M-N: Was corroded to brown during the summer of 1940 but it works as a camouflage.

    Materials:
    AK: If you have wood and any iron based metal, you can make one.
    AR: If you have mid-sized oil refinery, nuclear powerplant and a lab for composite materials, you can make one.
    M-N: The gun was made in 1938.

    User requirements:
    AK: Gun is designed for illiterate farmers in 3rd world countries. Takes 20 minutes to train a peasant to use one, and you can use the remaining 10 minutes to political propaganda. Maintenance is 20 minutes and you can use the remaining 10 minutes to drink vodka.
    AR: It takes a field manual and a lot of reading to make the gun ready for use. Do not use violence, because all the parts were made by the company who made the lowest bidder. Maintenance training takes 3 days. 2 in days in simulator class and 1 day for conditioning. (to get a sane person cleam his gun 3 times a day).
    M-N. High threshold for pain.
     
  12. MechAg94

    MechAg94 Member

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    I always see people say that AR's were made by the lowest bidder, but they never say that the AK were all made by govt workers. Which is worse?
     
  13. Koobuh

    Koobuh Member

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    ^ Death by firing squad is a powerful motivator, I understand.
    That, and even if the clearances are messed up with lazy machining it will still work. That's why people with a shaped block of steel and a large hammer handy can make AK receivers and build AKs.
     
  14. BloodyRAzorBlades

    BloodyRAzorBlades member

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    Location:
    Muncie Indiana it's lame here.

    Technically yes, but that thing is hard to manipulate and when i tried to turn it off and on my finger got stuck in the knob part. or are u just talking about pulling the bolt's "action" back as it's form of safety?
     
  15. 1 old 0311

    1 old 0311 member

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    Funny, but true:neener:

    Kevin
     
  16. Sleeping Dog

    Sleeping Dog Member

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    At a gun buy-back program,

    AK - the media lines up to take pictures, horrid guns
    AR - the leftists line up to point at imperialistic, horrid guns
    M-N - the gun owners line up to sell. At $50 per, can make a good profit.

    :)
     
  17. Crosshair

    Crosshair Member

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    I have more.

    AK: The trigger mechanisim is simple and reliable. Parts can be replaced in the field.
    AR: The trigger is a marriage of precision components. If it breaks, send it back to the armory for repair.
    M-N: The trigger is a bent nail.

    AK: A quality AK makes good marksman rifle when $100 POSP scope is mounted.
    AR: Makes a good sniper rifle with $400 worth of custom gunsmithing, bull barrel, match trigger, and $500 Leupold scope.
    M-N: Makes a good sniper rifle when you line up the rear sight with the front sight and pull the trigger.

    AK: Stock can be used to dig a foxhole.
    AR: Stock can be used to swat flies in a foxhole.
    M-N: Shoot into the ground and you have a foxhole.

    AK: 7.62x39 has been known to penetrate several layers of solid oak and take out target.
    AR: 5.56x45 has been known to take out target from 600 yards away.
    M-N: 7.62x54R has been known to take out low flying aircraft.
     
  18. 1911user

    1911user Member

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    This is great stuff. Keep adding to it, please.
     
  19. foghornl

    foghornl Member

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    AK: Bayonet ? ? We dont need no steenkin' Bayonet

    AR: Which of the 18 rails holds the Bayonet?

    MN: Fold-out bayonet can be used to fend of 1 or 2 BG's while ya stuff in another stripper clip worth of ammo. Also acts as windage adjustment on some models.
     
  20. RTFM

    RTFM member

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    M-N: 7.62x54R has been known to take out low flying aircraft.


    LOL Keep them up this IS funny
     
  21. sgist

    sgist Member

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    It may be funny, but it is not nice. Now I have to get a Mosin Nagant and a new gun safe.
     
  22. AJ Dual

    AJ Dual member

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    No, just the cocking piece. That's what it's for.

    Just don't let go before you get it turned. Here and now, if you're following the four rules, it's just embarassing...

    Back in the day, I doub't that neither the Commisar, nor the Finns would be so forgiving. :D
     
  23. 50caliber123

    50caliber123 Member

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    Of all the three, the only one I have is the mosin-nagant (M38) But it isn't too far from the truth. I hope to have my MAK-90 (an AK variant) soon, to test out its accuracy. I really am not a fan of the MN, but I keep my M38 around b/c it is in mint condition with the perfect, laminated stock.

    AR: Resembles a toy pellet gun
    AK: Resembles a gun, in the loose sense of the word
    MN: Resembles a small cannon
     
  24. silicon wolverine

    silicon wolverine member

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    First impressions on picking one up:
    AK "Spray and pray!"

    AR "My kid has toys that are tougher than this."

    MN "I have this sudden urge to lead a bayonet charge..."

    impressions after pulling the trigger

    AK "I went though thirty rounds ALREADY?"

    AR "Did it go off?"

    MN " i didnt know you could shoulder fire a howitzer."

    SW
     
  25. foghornl

    foghornl Member

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    M-N can also be used to 'tenderize' a tough steak. Place raw meat between steel butt-plate and shoulder, pop off a round, 2 at the most. M-N will also 'tenderize' your sholder if not held tightly.
     
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