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Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?

Discussion in 'Legal' started by Desertdog, Oct 29, 2004.

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  1. Desertdog

    Desertdog Member

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2002
    Messages:
    1,980
    Location:
    Ridgecrest Ca
    In my todays's email was this little gem.:D

    Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southern Republican?
    With elections coming up, we should all decide.

    Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans and
    Southern Republicans? The answer can be found by posing the following
    problem.

    You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children.
    Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner,
    locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges.
    You are carrying a Glock and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds
    before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?

    Democrat's Answer:
    Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
    Does the man look poor or oppressed?
    Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
    Could we run away?
    What does my wife think?
    What about the kids?
    Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his
    hand?
    What does the law say about this situation?
    Does the Glock have an appropriate safety built into it?
    Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this
    send to society and to my children?
    Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
    Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
    If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he
    was stabbing me?
    Should I call 9-1-1?
    Why is this street so deserted?
    We need to raise taxes, have a paint and weed day and make this a happier,
    healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
    This is all so confusing!
    I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a
    consensus.

    Republican's Answer:
    BANG!

    Southern Republican's Answer:
    BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
    Click...(sounds of reloading)
     
  2. Joshua Hutchison

    Joshua Hutchison Member

    Joined:
    Dec 10, 2003
    Messages:
    137
    Location:
    Watha NC
    LOL...i love being a southerner
     
  3. one45auto

    one45auto Member

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2004
    Messages:
    1,196
    Location:
    Somewhere out there
    Well, if you saw the hand-sewn Confederate battle flag on my wall you wouldn't have to ask that question. :D
     
  4. Waitone

    Waitone Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2002
    Messages:
    5,406
    Location:
    The Land of Broccoli and Fingernails
    Alternative ending====

    Southern Republican Companion's Comment:
    Nice pattern, Dad!
     
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