Coming out as a gun owner

Status
Not open for further replies.
I can't even wrap my mind around the fact of firearm ownership being an issue. But, I've been married for 12 years ... and I'm from the midwest. I don't know if that matters, but the guys I know that own guns way outnumber the guys that don't own a gun. Friends, coworkers, family. Doesn't seem to matter.

-S
 
It's kind of funny, if you explore the dating websites these days, pretty much every woman lists hunting, fishing, camping, hiking, etc in their activities. When I contacted them, I warned them that I would find out quickly how serious they were about it. (I listed that I was a shooting instructor in mine, and it attracted a certain amount of interest.) My new wife loves shooting, camping, and pretty much everything to do with the subject. :)
 
Bring it up from the get-go. If she doesn't like it, then she'll probably do the honors and never answer the phone when you call. :)
 
It's kind of funny, if you explore the dating websites these days, pretty much every woman lists hunting, fishing, camping, hiking, etc in their activities.
Click to expand...

It's also kind of funny that on dating sites you never find "slightly overweight, opinionated, balding, borderline illiterate and misogynistic middle aged man."
Just like you never find "money-loving, shallow, calculating and dependent biological-clock-ticking woman."

Dating sites ask you to describe yourself so others want to be with you. Hardly a measure of what a person really is.
 
I mention it if the time comes that it is appropriate to speak of guns, but I don't dwell on it. I speak more along the lines of a casual interest shooter who throws a few rounds downrange every 6 months.
 
Never really thought about this. I just assumed EVERYONE in oklahoma owns a gun. I don't know many people who don't.
 
Pardon me for being cynical about women...

...But I think a lot of you guys are living in a romantic fantasyland.

Have you never heard the expression "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"? You think a woman you've had a couple of "dates" with (whatever level of "intimacy" you think that entails) can be trusted with your privacy?

Would you give her your SS#, your bank account #s, or your PIN #s after a couple of dates? Are you nuts??

You think she won't rat you out or otherwise somehow use your secrets against you when she's grown weary of you, or when she's sufficiently annoyed with you? You think she'll never become alienated or angry enough to say that you threatened her with that gun?

Have you never heard of the kind of charges and accusations that women make when, after years of marriage, they decide they want a divorce? Suddenly all your secrets are fair game, any way she can use them against you.

Do you really need that kind of grief?

Even if she never betrays you deliberately, are you pretty sure she won't brag (or just blab) to her girlfriends? Are you pretty sure she won't provoke an incident, or rise to a provocation by someone else, because she knows you are armed? Are you sure she won't say "Honey, don't let him talk to me like that! Show him who's the top dog!"

Bottom line: Just like with anybody else you've known for only a short time, Don't spill your guts until you know for sure just what the person is made of.
 
Last edited:
Was on a 1st date 6 or 7 years ago--I mentioned my varmint rifle(not even sure what brought the conversation to that) anyway that pretty much ended it right there. No big deal---don't the door hit ya on the way out.

My GF of 3 years now---I have a hard time keeping her from taking over my guns.

Oh ya---she's smokin hot and nearly 20 years younger than me:D
 
Last edited:
G.R.I.T.S.

Love the south, never been on a date with a girl afraid of guns or who wasn't interested in going to the range with me. Most of them have dads, brothers, or family that hunts, and some even carry their own. I OC, so I'd imagine the issue would come up on her doorstep when I picked her up IF it was an issue.
 
I've never run across being ostracism for being a gunny. Instead what happened was I got to make a few new friends in the security department (not being sarcastic). Coming out as a gun guy is best done organically so that it's not a big deal or something that defines the meeting. Just leave something harmless in the open for them to catch sight of, such as a a copy of Guns and Ammo, or maybe a rifle case.
 
Ringolevio said:
...But I think a lot of you guys are living in a romantic fantasyland.

Have you never heard the expression "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"? You think a woman you've had a couple of "dates" with (whatever level of "intimacy" you think that entails) can be trusted with your privacy?

Would you give her your SS#, your bank account #s, or your PIN #s after a couple of dates? Are you nuts??

You think she won't rat you out or otherwise somehow use your secrets against you when she's grown weary of you, or when she's sufficiently annoyed with you? You think she'll never become alienated or angry enough to say that you threatened her with that gun?

Have you never heard of the kind of charges and accusations that women make when, after years of marriage, they decide they want a divorce? Suddenly all your secrets are fair game, any way she can use them against you.

Do you really need that kind of grief?

Even if she never betrays you deliberately, are you pretty sure she won't brag (or just blab) to her girlfriends? Are you pretty sure she won't provoke an incident, or rise to a provocation by someone else, because she knows you are armed? Are you sure she won't say "Honey, don't let him talk to me like that! Show him who's the top dog!"

Bottom line: Just like with anybody else you've known for only a short time, Don't spill your guts until you know for sure just what the person is made of.
Click to expand...
I hear what you're saying but eventually the plan would be to cohabitate, right? You want to talk about it before then.

There is an aspect in trust in all relationships; poor timing on compatibility betrays that trust, a little at least.
 
Bottom line: Just like with anybody else you've known for only a short time, Don't spill your guts until you know for sure just what the person is made of.
Click to expand...

So.... how long exactly does it take to "know" a woman? I'm not sure that at my current rate of learning that I'd be able to reveal that I owned a gun within the next 15-20 years. It might not go so well then. :uhoh:
 
In regards to the original question,

I would be very wary "coming out" as a gun owner in a hospital environment. As a physician, when I simply mentioned that I hunt and target shoot for fun, I was barraged by co workers and ancillary staff. Words traveled quickly "better not upset doc or he'll come out shooting."

Nevertheless most people are simply not mature enough to handle this. It can easily get you a reputation that is almost impossible to shake. Be warned
 
It can easily get you a reputation that is almost impossible to shake. Be warned
Click to expand...

Yes, but that depends on the arena in which you're identifying as a gun owner. If you are not sure the people you are around are mature enough to handle that information, just keep quiet. By keeping quiet, you wouldn't be hiding in the closet in shame. You'd simply be choosing to be selective in letting people know things about you. Nothing to be ashamed of in being a gun owner (unless you are irresponsible with guns).

On a related note, I have friends who are part of the LGBT crowd. They all know I am cool with that, but not really interested in their LGBT activism. So they don't bring it up around me. I don't bring up gun topics around them.

Now, when dating, which is closer to the original post... if guns and shooting are something you like a lot you should get it out there soon. Its never a good idea to try to change your personality and interests to match the whims of a partner. There is give and take in a relationship, but you have to still be you.
 
Pardon me for being cynical about women...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

...But I think a lot of you guys are living in a romantic fantasyland.

Have you never heard the expression "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"? You think a woman you've had a couple of "dates" with (whatever level of "intimacy" you think that entails) can be trusted with your privacy?

Would you give her your SS#, your bank account #s, or your PIN #s after a couple of dates? Are you nuts??

You think she won't rat you out or otherwise somehow use your secrets against you when she's grown weary of you, or when she's sufficiently annoyed with you? You think she'll never become alienated or angry enough to say that you threatened her with that gun?

Have you never heard of the kind of charges and accusations that women make when, after years of marriage, they decide they want a divorce? Suddenly all your secrets are fair game, any way she can use them against you.

Do you really need that kind of grief?

Even if she never betrays you deliberately, are you pretty sure she won't brag (or just blab) to her girlfriends? Are you pretty sure she won't provoke an incident, or rise to a provocation by someone else, because she knows you are armed? Are you sure she won't say "Honey, don't let him talk to me like that! Show him who's the top dog!"

Bottom line: Just like with anybody else you've known for only a short time, Don't spill your guts until you know for sure just what the person is made of.
Click to expand...

So essentially you are saying not to trust a woman at all early in the relationship or after marriage. Uh huh. A woman is much more likely to falsely claim a man raped her than pointed a gun at her so good luck with celibacy. I'll take my chances.
 
I let them know right away, I got married at 50 do I dated most of my life. Very few girls had an issue with it. In NY you could allow them to see the holstered gun on your person and thus allow them to ask you. If you treat it right it isn't a problem, only one girl got bent out of shape, out of the hundreds of girls I dated over 34 years of dating that's not bad. Many felt protected.
I had trouble with a neighboor, after helping her out wit a vandal. The responding officer told her that she mentioned 10 times in the 15 minutes he was there that she lived alone most of the time, "husband was out of town a lot". And that she had a lot of jewelry and money she kept in the house. Advised her to get a gun and to stop telling people the story she just told him a dozen times. She, instead of thanking me as the officer advised her to do, because she could at least call me if she saw something that scared her, "as she did every night". She instead freaked out that I had a gun, that she never even saw.She became such a problem that I had to call an attorney and the police, and file a police report. She was actually pulling strangers off the street and telling them I had a gun, and was going to shoot everyone in their sleep. We finally shut her up with the threat of a lawsuit, and all my neighboors explained that they also had guns, and she was in the wrong state if she didn't like them. Two ex leos went down to the sherriff and filled out a complaint against her also. So now, no one listens anymore but she still is a nut.Of all 5 houses in her proximity, she has started trouble with every neighboor, she is a real mental case.
 
Honestly, I don't even consider it an issue. I feel the same about carrying a gun as I do about carrying my car keys. I not only consider it a standard part of my gear; but I just assume everyone else carries as well (even though I know, statistically, that isn't true.) If I assume everyone else carries, then I don't feel I have any advantage by being armed - merely that I am on even ground; and I also don't feel that it is remotely unusual. I assume she (the potential gf / wife / whatever) will realize it eventually, if she ever get's that close. My wife waited until about a week after she saw mine and said "so... you carry a gun eh?" to which I responded "of course, don't you?" I then taught her to shoot, and today she has her CC permit as well. Don't feel ashamed, or uncomfortable, or uneasy my friend for it is us who are normal and it is us who are free.
 
Its nice to read so many positive aspects of shooters coming out into the open & admitting their hobbies to their girlfriends on dates,however the same can't be said for my good self.Shooting sports & girls in the UK,don't always mix too well,most of the time & I was incredibly foolish to mention my interest in target-shooting & hunting to one,whom came to the conclusion,that I was "a crazy dude",after meeting her,in the college car park,when I was on a cigarette break(In the days when I smoked,10 years ago:)Another one said these words to me " You have an unhealthy interest in guns",in which I replied to her " I have a healthy interest in historical arms,that are irreplaceable,what's your problem?" After this,ive never mentioned this to any woman,as she might think I'm the next Lone Wolf,planning a massacre.I also felt like an outcast too.Even at work once,I corrected a man whom claimed that his friend in New York,had a .36 revolver for self-defense & I said it was probably a .38 special S&W ,not a .36 & he went behind my back & insulted me sarcastically,implying I was a gun nut & weirdo.I found out about it & threatened to break his nose & told him,that he was a lowlife,scummy,do-gooder,whom had no courage to mock me in person & that If he had something to say,then he should of said it to my face & not try to mock myself,whilst tonguing someones rear-end,for a promotion..Turned out,he was a Guardian reading,neo-left-wing half-wit.:banghead:
On a different note though:I came clean to my friends,about my firearms interest & my best friend was cool about it.Although he isn't into firearms himself,he respects my interests in them,in as much as I respect his freedom to his sexuality,which isn't hetrosexual.So at least my best friend is gun-tolerant,which is great news for myself & I shall look foward to meeting pro-gun women,if I can,over here,or I'll just move to the States permanantley.Maybe Fort Lauderdale or Miami.Quite liked those places.
 
The question was "When is it a good time to tell potential romantic partners about your guns?"
Click to expand...

In the past I always brought it up if I felt there was going to be a second date.

It was nothing I made a huge issue about -- just an honorable mention.


I've never dated any anti gunners so it was never an issue.

My current girlfriend of five years is a better shot than me when it comes to long range aimed fire. =D

I've got her beat on short to medium range quick fire / multiple targets / etc though.
 
Related To this, I dated a woman once who was a bit on the negative side when it came to guns despite her dad who liked to shoot. Her opinion changed one night when we were sleeping at a friends home in the country and he relayed a horrific incident of a violent robbery in this very serene area. That opened her eyes why they might be a good thing. In fact, that night she made ,
Me reassure her that I did indeed have my gun handy.
 
gym said:
I let them know right away, I got married at 50 do I dated most of my life. Very few girls had an issue with it. In NY you could allow them to see the holstered gun on your person and thus allow them to ask you. If you treat it right it isn't a problem, only one girl got bent out of shape, out of the hundreds of girls I dated over 34 years of dating that's not bad. Many felt protected.
I had trouble with a neighboor, after helping her out wit a vandal. The responding officer told her that she mentioned 10 times in the 15 minutes he was there that she lived alone most of the time, "husband was out of town a lot". And that she had a lot of jewelry and money she kept in the house. Advised her to get a gun and to stop telling people the story she just told him a dozen times. She, instead of thanking me as the officer advised her to do, because she could at least call me if she saw something that scared her, "as she did every night". She instead freaked out that I had a gun, that she never even saw.She became such a problem that I had to call an attorney and the police, and file a police report. She was actually pulling strangers off the street and telling them I had a gun, and was going to shoot everyone in their sleep. We finally shut her up with the threat of a lawsuit, and all my neighboors explained that they also had guns, and she was in the wrong state if she didn't like them. Two ex leos went down to the sherriff and filled out a complaint against her also. So now, no one listens anymore but she still is a nut.Of all 5 houses in her proximity, she has started trouble with every neighboor, she is a real mental case.
Click to expand...
So are you dating?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

D
  • Locked
Outed gun owner speaks
Replies
6
Views
987
Tinman357
T
P
  • Locked
Coming out of the Gun Closet
2 3
Replies
52
Views
2K
CajunBass
CajunBass
J
  • Locked
Documentary project about gun owners
2
Replies
49
Views
3K
Bridger
B
J
  • Locked
What is the best gun value today?
Replies
23
Views
1K
USGuns
U
B
  • Locked
Politicians Feeling Out How Much Gun Control You Will Tolerate
Replies
8
Views
610
Skribs
Skribs
Back
Top