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Creative way to justify gun purchases to a spouse

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by bluejeans, Apr 3, 2018.

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  1. Slamfire

    Slamfire Member

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    I no longer have the link, but this was in a thread about how to hide your gun purchases from the wife:


    Cowboy:

    I'll share my Dad's trick:

    First, you have to have a certain critical mass of pistols and rifles. It is a scientific fact that women cannot tell the difference between guns. Once you have a certain number, say about 12, you can start the trick. You can't hide the fact that the guns are increasing, but you can greatly diminish her perception of it.

    You cannot ever give her a count, or let her think she has a count. When she asks if this is your whole collection, you say you have some stashed in other places, like your brother's.

    Let her know that you buy guns occassionally, but only about every 3rd purchase (4th or 5th if you buy often). The rest you have to sneak in. Also, always keep the guns moving. Always have a few in this or that room.

    If you have a son/brother, attribute sales to him. While dad once snuck guns around, now when he buys one, he has me go home and walk it in the door. "Look at what the boy bought."

    Make all purchases with cash, never a credit card. Visa statments will tell on you.

    They've been married 30 years, and she has no idea how many guns he has (though she thinks I have an arsenal now).
     
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  2. Mr. Standfast

    Mr. Standfast Member

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  3. stonebuster

    stonebuster Member

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    Neither my wife or I feel the need to justify any purchases with the other in reality. I, as some others I'm sure, were just trying to add a little humor in their responses.
     
  4. namedpipes

    namedpipes Member

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    Not guns, but many years back I had the opportunity to get a free Jeep, which my wife said no to. Well I got it anyway and hid it in the garage.

    My wife found it when she went to the garage to hide some china she'd bought on the sly.

    I laughed. She laughed. Alexa laughed...
     
  5. GAF

    GAF Member

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    HEY HONEY! Look what the dog dragged in.
     
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  6. CZ9shooter

    CZ9shooter Member

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    About a year ago my brother-in-law brought up the idea to me about saving up some money to go on an elk hunting trip together in the not-too-distant future.

    I have no intention of doing such a thing based on the stories he tells me of his local deer hunting outings. I guess he "missed" something like 5 or 6 deer last season. All at typical MN <100yd ranges. He though it was a good idea to borrow a relative's rifle without even bother to sight it in or test it out in any way.

    Anyhow, my wife let me buy my first bolt gun for our upcoming elk hunt (wink wink). I am happy just shooting at targets with it for now.
     
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  7. sharkman

    sharkman Member

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    Don’t ask, don’t tell. She don’t ask and I don’t tell ;) Truth is, the safe is full, no more room, told her no more guns. Well, I did just get a 4th Garand from the CMP. I mean hey, doesn’t everyone need 4? She was home when it was delivered, if asked I would have told her it as just some gun parts :rofl:
     
  8. bassjam

    bassjam Member

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    My wife technically doesn't care about my gun purchases since I use my own spending money, but she's still commented several times how I have "enough" guns. Still, I pretty much followed that advice you posted and my wife figured I only had about 10 firearms. I normally keep purchases quiet, but always let her know when I'm selling or trading one. Anyway, I printed out my spreadsheet that lists all my firearms and serial a few months ago and accidentally left it on an end table for a few hours before moving it to my document safe. The next morning when we were drinking our coffee my wife casually mentioned that she saw a document of mine the day before, and said "If those numbers are real, nobody, and I mean NOBODY, needs that many guns" and promptly dropped the issue. But now she regularly reminds me of "the list" when she see's me lusting over a gun online or in a magazine.
     
  9. Jeff H

    Jeff H Member

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    My wife isn't a big gun person but she is a gun snob for sure. Sig Sauer is her brand of choice, so If I want a new gun, all I need to do is mention that it is a Sig and she is on board with the purchase. This works for the moment because I'm eyeing the new Sig 365, but I'll have to find a new tactic when S&W or Ruger put out something I have to add to the safe.
     
  10. total recoil

    total recoil Member

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    My wife wouldn't recognize a new gun if I unpacked the new box in front of her. To her, all guns look the same. Revolver or automatic, blue or stainless they are all the same. Once she asked "what gun is that?" I told her "same gun I've had for years." No problem.
     
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  11. milemaker13

    milemaker13 Member

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    Gift for her:)
     
  12. GunnyUSMC

    GunnyUSMC Member

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    My Ex-Wife has no problem with the guns I buy. :cool:
     
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  13. vito

    vito Member

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    My wife had no idea how many or few I owned. Recently after getting rid of some, as I get older I have really cut down on my small stash of guns, I told my wife I had 8 handguns and only two long guns. She seemed shocked until I told her that two years ago I had more than double that amount and that I was now down to the bare minimum. She seemed happy about that.
     
  14. bikerdoc

    bikerdoc Moderator Staff Member

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    Wife likes guns, has as many as I do, that is why she is the wife and the first wife is the ex-wife.:evil:
     
  15. old lady new shooter

    old lady new shooter Member

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    This takes first prize so far. :)
     
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  16. old lady new shooter

    old lady new shooter Member

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    This is about possibly trying to hide guns, but not in the context of marriage.

    Trying to move to Arizona. Real estate market where I want to be got very heated in terms of demand-vs-supply over the past year although prices are still good. Saw a house online that looked suitable, broker persuaded the listing agent to keep it open one more day so his out-of-state client (moi) could get there to see it. Skipping a bunch of details I only got about half an hour in the house, then we went over to broker's house to discuss it. I decided to make an offer and he put it in. Thankfully it was accepted even though there were several other cash offers over the asking too. A couple of days later it occurred to me that I didn't remember having seen a linen closet, so I asked him if we saw one, he said no, but remember the locked door in the hallway (I didn't), that was probably it. I said, well, if they have long guns they probably put their gun safe in there, after all this is Arizona. (As opposed to SoCal where I currently live and where the broker grew up.) So then during the inspection period I had a bunch of specific inspections done but also of course the general. Comes the report back, guess what, inspector reports he could not include the hall closet in the inspection because it was locked. Meanwhile I did a little internet research and husband does appear to be a firearms enthusiast... So at the end we stipulated that we get to see inside this closet before closing... and they came back with ok but they need 48 hours notice. I had told the broker to say something like "We presume the door is locked because sellers are storing valuables inside, we have no objection to seller being present next to the open door when we look inside." I mean, come on, can he be worried that I will find out he has a gun collection? Especially when he posts photos of some of his items on instagram under his real name? Or could it be that wife doesn't know about it? Other theories?
     
  17. bluejeans

    bluejeans Member

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    My new strategy is to show my wife this thread... “ honey, see the lengths some of these idiots go to circumvent their spouse..? Aren’t you glad I’m upfront with you? .. oh by the way, I’m joining the CMP to get that international harvester garand I told you I would like to get.

    I actually did this just this morning after prepping her for the last few days with absurd stories from this thread. It went better than I expected
     
  18. Poper

    Poper Member

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    Hmmmm......... I wonder if that explains my painful left shoulder. Dr. says it's bursitis, arthritis and some tendonitis. Ya got me thinking maybe it could be a voodoo curse by my shootin' buddy's spouse! It would be just like her to do something like that............
     
  19. Erik M

    Erik M Member

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    My wife had more money invested in firearms than I did when we got hitched. If I'm planning on a purchase I better plan on buying her something too lol.
     
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  20. mstreddy

    mstreddy Member

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    Poper, It's the Voodoo, I tell you!

    My buddy just got a new Ruger Hunter Mk4 and my back has been hurting all week!
     
  21. Armored farmer

    Armored farmer Member

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    Now THAT....is one piece of machinery that i would enjoy buying!
    20180207_102204.jpg
     
  22. Ignition Override

    Ignition Override Member

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    Be creative. If you Can easily afford 'just one more', the less she knows, the better. Why not just tell it like it is? We're all grown-up boys and girls, plus or minus a stent in the Widowmaker artery....

    Note: my last several guns all came from cash accrued by selling All of my (4) Makarovs, two heaps of handgun plus rifle ammo, and a duplicate M59 SKS.
    Also, the new retail (was 'nib') Sig M11 A1/229 derivative---which Sig technicians could quite make function right---was sold at a very steep loss for some of this cash.

    The very disappointing, surprising problem with that M11 A1 is **Exactly** why I resolved to find, then somehow became extremely lucky to locate a '94 German Sig P228, and a '98 Sig P225, both proofed in Kiel Germany.
     
  23. Poper

    Poper Member

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    That's gotta be it. Voodoo for sure!
    Maybe you should see a priest for an exorcism?:uhoh: Or maybe just put on some Judas Priest loud enough for your buddy's spouse to hear it? :what:
     
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