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Dating Your Daughter

Discussion in 'Handguns: General Discussion' started by Joshua M. Smith, Oct 12, 2008.

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  1. Joshua M. Smith

    Joshua M. Smith Member

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    Hello,

    I've wondered about this.

    Since people in Indiana can carry when they turn 18, how would you feel if your, say, 17 year old daughter were to go on a date with a senior who turned 18 and got his handgun permit, and planned to carry on said date?

    Or how about if she were living at home while going to college, and dating someone licensed to carry (and who made a habit of carrying)?

    I'm 30 so it'll be a while (if ever) that I have to be concerned about this, but I think this is an interesting question.

    Josh <><
     
  2. kingpin008

    kingpin008 Member

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    In my opinion, maturity comes at all ages. I've met some awful wise and worldly fifteen and sixteen year-olds, but I've come across some pretty juvenile older adults as well.

    I would say it really depends on the person.
     
  3. Mr. 16 gauge

    Mr. 16 gauge Member

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    I don't like anyone who dates my daughter (who just turned 17), so the point is MOOT!:evil:
     
  4. M203Sniper

    M203Sniper member

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    He had better address me as Sir, not attempt to pick her up at ANY time without a handshake or hello Mrs. ____ to my wife & offer to buy the ammo at least once on a range trip weather it be his idea mine or my daughters.

    I'm also only 31 but my oldest daughter is 9, thanks for the scare. :eek:
     
  5. JT in VA

    JT in VA Member

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    Either he is OK to see your child or he isn't. Regardless of CCW.
     
  6. SureThing

    SureThing Member

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    If say, he was a kid I knew from church and his family, I prbably would actually like it.

    Some kid I don't know...makes me a bit uneasy. That is too young IMO, simply because of lack of maturity. I was not mature enough at that age IMO.
     
  7. no_problem

    no_problem Member

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    <<Mr. 16 gauge
    Member

    I don't like anyone who dates my daughter (who just turned 17), so the point is MOOT!>>>


    :D:D:D

    Well said!!
     
  8. gidaeon

    gidaeon Member

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    If I can't trust him with a firearm, then I definitely can't\couldn't\wouldn't trust him with my daughter!

    I would want to know the fellow is a gun enthusiast and carries, and then I could get to know him by shooting together? Mine is only 3yo though.. (the girl demands equal or greater due respect than the responsibility of a weapon on ones person). Interesting question.

    but +1k on what SureThing said!!!
     
  9. psyopspec

    psyopspec Member

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    Having been that kid, I can pretty much tell you that most 18 year olds who are mature enough to go through and maintain the standards for a CCW are also going to be mature enough not to disclose something like that in the first few dates.

    I've carried now for about 6 years, and in that time I've only ever gotten positive feedback from the parents who found out. I won't address CCW on the first date, but in order to feel out what the girl's sentiments toward guns are, I will offer to take them to the range for the next date.

    Having said that, if I face this situation as a father I won't automatically think much either way. I'll be judging the young man on his character, not the number and types of various pieces of plastic in his wallet. Hopefully, if I've done a good job in raising my own (hypothetical) children, it won't be an issue to lose sleep over. When it gets to the point that daughters are dating in their mid-late teens, the role of the parents is largely over. Lay the groundwork beforehand, so you won't have to worry about it.

    Note: I am not a parent (that I know of). :uhoh:

    ETA: I've been carrying w/ CCW since the age of 19.
     
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2008
  10. Curiousity

    Curiousity Member

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    I would take him out to the range and see how he handles firearms, see how safely he handles it. Then i would approve based on that...
     
  11. Treo

    Treo member

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    If the 18 Y/O truly is mature enough to CCW I would assume he's mature enough not to mention the fact that he is
     
  12. Joshua M. Smith

    Joshua M. Smith Member

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    Around here, we tend to be somewhat open about that fact, and some carry openly. (I used to some of the time, though not any longer except on my own property). It's not a macho thing; it's just a matter of what's convenient and what's accepted.

    This is a rural community in a red state with the longest running license to carry openly or concealed in the nation (IIRC) and having a gun on your hip is just about as common as carrying a cell phone. Not quite, but almost.

    Josh <><
     
  13. mgregg85

    mgregg85 Member

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    I'm only 23 and without kids so I can't speak from experience.

    But, if I didn't trust the guy with a loaded weapon, I sure as hell wouldn't let him take my daughter anywhere.
     
  14. Gunsby_Blazen

    Gunsby_Blazen Member

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    I am a youngen, myself, well mid twenties...
    i don't trust punk kids anyway, no matter how they handle themselves. i am young enough to relate to punks and old enough to know that most of them are not that mature. maybe I am in an older state of mind at my age than i should be. but I dont like punk kids. That being said, i dont know what I would do in that situation. I would really have to go over the fella, not in his face, but really evaluate him to know if he is trust worthy. Try to relate to him and see how he behaves once he "thinks" your his buddy. When a person loosens up to you, they show you their true self. Thats about all I can give ya.
     
  15. TehK1w1

    TehK1w1 Member

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    gidaeon said it well-if I can't trust with a gun, I sure wouldn't trust him with any offspring of mine! It's a purely academic question for me however, as I am still in college and don't plan on kids any time soon.
     
  16. savetheclaypigeons

    savetheclaypigeons Member

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    Like a few others not far from the hypothetical age....if the father of the lucky lady ;) would hear word of a ccdw boyfriend IMO it would be pretty black and white whether he was a responsible gentleman or a troublemaker. I'm the responsible gentleman by the way :D
     
  17. rojocorsa

    rojocorsa Member

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    I once read that a proper Southern Gentleman does not clean his weapons in front of a lady.
     
  18. ArchAngelCD

    ArchAngelCD Member

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    Like said above, it depends on the maturity of the kid. If he's a responsible young man I would feel better that my daughter was out with someone who has the means to protect her life.
     
  19. Sunray

    Sunray Member

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    Having a CCW is irrelevant. 18 year old guys are bags of hormones that are trying to get out. So are 17 year old girls. How they conduct themselves depends entirely on how they were raised. They're either jumping on each other or they aren't. It's about the values they were taught and their personal values.
    Lots of 18 year olds are currently in the Queen's and U.S. military service.
    In any case, despite the rhetoric, you won't get to decide who a daughter goes out with.
    23, mid twenties, or 30, there are all kinds of youth groups that are looking for adult volunteers to provide leadership. That's what teenage kids crave. Somebody to lead 'em. They're great fun to work with too. Did 6 years with a Canadian Army Cadet Corps. 13 to 18 year olds. Best time I've ever had doing anything. Treat tenagers like adults, respect 'em, give 'em responsibilities, expect a standard and they'll act and react like adults. Oh and real respect is earned. It doesn't come with the job/position.
     
  20. Quoheleth

    Quoheleth Member

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    For that matter, he better keep his weapon concealed in front of a lady as well. :uhoh:

    A real quick turn-off would be if said 18-year old shows up at my door and in the course of our "Get-to-know-you/come-to-Jesus" conversation he pops off with something like, "...and don't worry, Mr. Q., 'cuz I got my gun right here [pull up shirttail to show me] and I can take care of bizness if I need to..." he will be taking care of scraping my bootprint off of his bizness while mumbling to himself in the driveway - alone.

    Other ways to meet the pavement: if I ask, "Do you carry?" and he gets THAT smirk that says, [in Joey Tribbione-esque] "Oh, yeah..." he's outta here.

    If I'm sitting on the porch, doing my best impersonation of "Deliverance" while cleaning my guns, waiting for his sorry rear to show up to escort my princess somewhere, and when he arrives he quick grabs my GP100 or 1911 and does a Hollywood movie scene recreation, he'll be missing two fingers when I jerk it out of his hand.

    However, if he stands a respectful 4-6' away, addresses me as "Sir," "Reverend," or "Colonel" (gotta love a Southern boy who calls you Colonel), wisely - but not TOO wisely - comments on my firearms (and casually the conversation comes around to "Do you have a CCL"), my car, and my BBQ pit, he will have a chance to enter the house where he may wait quietly and patiently until approximately 8:30 for their 7:00 date. In the meantime, I'll be searching his car to see what kind of ammo he prefers...

    My daughter is 11 and beginning to notice boys and vice versa.
    The threat is real.
    I know.
    I was a teenager once.
    Daughters are God's way of saying, "You shoulda listened to Momma, boy."

    Q
     
  21. 3KillerBs

    3KillerBs Member

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    As the mother of a 15yo girl, that's how I feel as well.

    If you want to associate with my daughter you'd better impress DH and I with your manners, respect, and responsibility first. THEN you need to impress her older brother too. You might be able to fool us, but you won't be fooling him.
     
  22. Birdhunter1

    Birdhunter1 Member

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    I like Mr. 16's answer, "I don't like anyone who dates my daughter!"

    No daughter yet but I hated every boy my 2 younger cousins (grew up like sisters to me) and one ex boyfriend still won't come near me 8 years later.
     
  23. dbriannelson

    dbriannelson Member

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    My daughter is a far better judge of character than I am. She's living in Hollywood now, working in the movie industry, dating guys I like - guys I've seen in movies and TV.

    Because it has always been her life, not mine, I simply provided parental services necessary to tide her over until she could handle life by herself. She's doing fine now.

    Bottom line is I have no problem with anyone she has chosen since she was young. If she had picked someone who packed, that itself would not have been important one way or the other.

    Now, the other way around. I'm a photographer. I deal with young women all the time. I have outraged some folks in that community/clustergaggle by suggesting that any model who can legally carry a weapon is perfectly free (and encouraged) to do so when working with me, and should consider doing so when working with anyone. Not so much because photographers are a threat, but because women are perhaps more vulnerable than men in general and should take whatever steps are necessary to not be victims.

    I have no problem with anyone with a clean record and a sane mind being armed anywhere, anytime. When I go to Israel and the streets are covered with young men and women on liberty carrying their loaded M-16s, it makes me feel good. When I visit Ankara and drop by gunshops and see the old folks pulling out engraved revolvers and showing them off to each other, I feel like they've saved something that we've lost over here.

    The only folks that should be wary of armed citizens are the bad guys and the government.

    -Don
     
  24. ronwill

    ronwill Member

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    If he can pass my interview (interrogation) the fact that he carries legally would be of little concern.
     
  25. Soke

    Soke Member

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    I strongly disagree, but that's another topic.
     
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