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Define 'Mall Ninja'

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by Belgiboy, May 12, 2007.

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  1. Belgiboy

    Belgiboy Member

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    I wondered if you people would be so kind as to give me your definition of a 'mall ninja'. I have come across that term many times reading threads on THR. I thought at first it was a derogatory term for a mall securityguard or something but i am starting to think there is some different to it. I thought my knowledge of slang was descent for a foreigner but what do you know...hadn't heard that one yet. I could of course google it and come up with a definition that makes perfect sense but i thought it would be so much more fun to have you guys go at it. Help me out will ya? :)
     
  2. GhostlyKarliion

    GhostlyKarliion Member

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  3. axeman_g

    axeman_g Member

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  4. usp9

    usp9 Member

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    I think of a Mall Ninja as a person with a carry permit who thinks he/she should be armed and outfitted like a warrior headed for combat. Carries the 1911 with six mags, a back up .357, tactical folding knife with the word SEAL somewhere on it, MACE, and, oh yes, another gun in the truck. They say OOHRAH alot, wear boots everwhere, and secretly don a beret at home to admire in the mirror. Mine's green of course.:D

    (edit) OH jeez, how could I have forgotten the flashlight and cargo pants, necessary to the properly dressed MJ.
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2007
  5. vintage68

    vintage68 Member

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    A Mall Ninja is somebody who wears WAAAYYYY too much tactical gear. They should just wear a sign around their neck saying "I have a license to carry a concealed weapon".

    You can spot a guy like this a mile away. Usually they wear a polo shirt, with a 5.11 tactical vest, 5.11 tactical CARGO pants with a Wilderness belt, and military-style combat boots. They also wear a big TACTICAL watch.

    Why anyone would be this obvious is beyond me. The whole point of carrying concealed is to stay under the radar of the bad guys....
     
  6. KD7ONE

    KD7ONE Member

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  7. Belgiboy

    Belgiboy Member

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    Ghostlykarliion, that is just an awesome piece of literature you put me on. Thank you for that, it made my day
     
  8. PercyShelley

    PercyShelley Member

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    That's the antithesis of a mall ninja; mall ninjas rely upon the bullet-resisting properties of multiple inches of adipose tissue.

    That guy has legitimate athletic talent, again, proving that he couldn't possibly be a mall ninja.

    Does make me wonder though, can you pull back flips when you duct tape on the trauma plates, or would it throw off your center of gravity?
     
  9. Johnny B

    Johnny B Member

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    Okay, maybe I'm just trying to convince myself of this so that I can feel better, but the archetypal "mall ninjas" documented on that website must have been playing a grand, elaborate joke, right? I just can't see how anyone can say those things and actually expect to be taken seriously.
     
  10. Teufelhunden

    Teufelhunden Member

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    How's a faded non-5.11 polo with loose fit Old Navy Cargoes and Sketchers? I meet some of the physical criteria, but not the brands ;)

    -Teuf
     
  11. texas bulldog

    texas bulldog Member

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    percy beat me to it...

    that dude has mad skills.
     
  12. Crunker1337

    Crunker1337 Member

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    KD7, my friend used to know the urban ninja. He lives, unfortunately, in Californistan.
     
  13. BADUNAME13

    BADUNAME13 Member

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    Meet the original 'Mall NINJA': http://lonelymachines.org/mall-ninjas/

    -I STILL want to talk to the guy who came up with this spoof, and then had the control not to tell everyone after they 'went for the bait':D :D :D
     
  14. JamisJockey

    JamisJockey member

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    A mall ninja is simply a poser.
    Someone who wishes they were SWAT or SEELS or something. They aquire all the tactical toys without the knoweldge on how to use them. They opine about how cool it would be to get in a gunfight and kill a bunch of bad guys.

    They could be viewed as the Trekkies of the gun world :p
     
  15. JamisJockey

    JamisJockey member

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  16. cbsbyte

    cbsbyte Member

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    Actually I really have seen well armed private security officers in Florida. It was at a very well off gated community. I happen to be there for a wedding reception at the club house. This is a community where no house is under a million, and they have water access to the inter coastal. Communities, like this sometimes have special tactical teams who patrol at night. I remember they where monitoring the quests when we where heading to our cars in the parking lot behind the club house. These guys where suited up as SWAT teams, they wore black or dark gray BDUs, they drove black golf carts, they carried AR-15s carbines, shottys and one vehicle had a K9 in the back seat. I was told by a community member that they special order them after their where a rash of forced break ins and robberies. It seem the criminals would climb the tall fences surrounding the area, or take a boat into the canals and breaks into the homes near the water.
     
  17. Fulcrum of Evil

    Fulcrum of Evil Member

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    Ooh, shiny! It's a shame all the gymnasitcs places I've found around here cater to kids...
     
  18. Soldier415

    Soldier415 Member

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    If you have ever been in the Army...think PX Ranger.

    The mall ninja is his civilian counterpart :D
     
  19. rkh

    rkh member

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    MallNinja.jpg

    Don't forget the boots that climb up walls...
     
  20. JamisJockey

    JamisJockey member

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    Having all the toys doesn't make one a SWAT member. Just because they have the toys, I doubt I'd trust my life to them for a minute.
     
  21. ATW525

    ATW525 Member

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    If you look up Mall Ninja in the dictionary, you'll find my picture. I have a denim vest that conceals up to eight spare Glock magazines just incase I find myself in a bad neighborhood and need to fend off human wave attacks by violent street gangs. You laugh now, but one day when undead hordes are chowing down on your loved ones and you find you don't even have the ammo left to put them out their misery, I'll be there to say, "I told you so." :p
     
  22. Clint Westwood

    Clint Westwood Member

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    Thanks for the link Ghost.
    KD, that urban ninja dude is just bad a$$, can't be mall ninja.
     
  23. RNB65

    RNB65 Member

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    Don't forget the ceramic armor plates. Just in case the rowdys in the parking lot are packing .308's!!!

    :D
     
  24. Zeke Menuar

    Zeke Menuar Member

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    This is what a Mall Ninja reads

    GearQueer2.jpg

    ZM
     
  25. kingpin008

    kingpin008 Member

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