Dumbest criminals stories.

[Detritus]

ok, maybe I'm just stupid, but did he die at the scene or in the hospital 4 hours later?

a good translation of what was written would be "the Paramedics new the SOB was dead and didn't waste effort or further supplies on a dead sack of meat". BUT a person aint legally "dead" untill a legally qualified and duly authorized person (read: in many cases a person with MD behind their name) says that person is bereft of any chance of revival and therefore declares said person "dead"

 

[Detritus]

SWMBO had one....

Wife told me to relay this one.....

back around '80-83 or so friend of my wife (can't remember a name so call her linda)was working the graveyard shift at a 24hr mini-mart, guy walks in, looks around a bit, picks up some form of canned goods and walks to the counter.

upon arrival at the register he places both the can and a certain portion of his lower anatomy on the counter, and is smiling....

linda sees what has been placed on teh counter, calmly picks up the can as if to ring it up and then promptly and with some amount of force bring it back down onto the countertop with what little amount of aim was needed to make a direct hit....
when the Deputies showed up he was still curled up in a fetal position.

officers took a statement then hauled the Perv. away and as they were taking the dude out the doorshe heard one of the deputies tell the guy "Next time i'd suggest a loaf of bread!"

 

[C-grunt]

My stepdad was walking into his local convenience store when a young man comes running to the door and the teller yelling that she had been robbed. My stepdad, a former green beret, grabbed the guy by the neck and threw him to the ground, drew his gun, and informed the perp that they were waiting for the police to arrive.

I heard of a lady who tried to rob a store with her husbands unplugged electric chainsaw.

 

[BigFatKen]

ok, maybe I'm just stupid, but did he die at the scene or in the hospital 4 hours later?

A good question really. I used to live in Iron County. WI and no one dies there. You have to cross the bridge into MI where there is a doctor who can sign the death cert.

So, by the 90's snowmobiles could go well over 100 mph. No speed limits on the trails that were designed when 60 was fast. One "bubble head" as we called them ran around a curve and went around an electric pole between the pole and the supporting guy wire. I talked to the EMT who told me "while I can't say he's dead, I can say I found his head about fifty feet from the rest of him."

 

[rugerman]

I have two that happened to me. Several years ago I was working at a K&B drugstore in LA (lower Alabama) when a lady brought in a prescription for a diet aid that was written on a pediatric Dr's pad (teddy bears & ice cream cones) that had the patients name & drug name erased and changed to her name and the diet aid. I told her that we were out but some would be comming in that afternoon. She left, I called the Dr. and he said no he didn't write the diet aid but he did write for and antibiotic for her kids ear infection. We called the police who came and waited for her to return. When she came in they picked her up and took her to jail and took her kid into protective custody for child neglect. #2 About 2 years ago I had a female call in and said she was the nurse for a local Dr and would like to call in a prescription for a pain killer for a patient, I took the info and she hung up. I called the Dr. (who I knew always called in his own Rxs ) and asked if he'd fired Sheila (his real nurse) and told him the story. He said call the cops and I will press charges. I called 911 told them the story and told them if the person came in I'd call and tell them that I had something for them to pick up. 5 minutes later a black male & female came in and asked for the Rx I told him that I needed him to fill out a patient profile and I needed to see his drivers lic. Well she filled out the form and he handed me his drivers lic. I went down called 911 and a police officer was sent. Well "dumb crook" left in a hurry (before the police arrived) when the officer asked what he looked like I handed him the lic. and said just like this and his girl friends prints are on the form. When I was called to court & asked to ID him I asked if the lic. had been entered as evidence and the lawyer said yes I looked at the jury and said that he looked just like the picture on his lic. He went up the river for a long time as a 3 time looser. WHY DO YOU THINK THEY CALL IT DOPE!!!!!!! rugerman

 

[Snap]

In with the "not dead till the doctor says so" theme, a nurse friend of mine who works a rescue truck at races told me about a motorcycle rider who went off the track into a grove of trees. Long story short, he was brought into the hospital with his helmeted head tucked under his arm as a "Possible Decapitation." Doctor said, "Yup, he's decapitated," and signed the form. Nobody dies at the track.

 

[mbs357]

ok, maybe I'm just stupid, but did he die at the scene or in the hospital 4 hours later?

Don't worry, I was wondering the same thing...just didn't bother to ask for some reason. =P

 

[DRZinn]

Still, the wording was bad. No matter what the technicalities were, he died at the scene. He was pronounced dead at the hospital.

 

[CNYCacher]

Time of death. . .

It's like in The Wizard of Oz, all the munchkins have to wait for the blue munchkin with the pimp hat to read the scroll on whether the witch with the house on top of her is dead or not. Then they celebrate.

". . . I've thoughourourourourly exameeeeened her. . ."

Back on topic
Here in NY, in a town nearby to my home, we had a guy burglarize a liquor store and he backed his car into a snow bank while making his getaway. Left a perfect impression of his license plate in the snowbank . I know the deputy who was called to the scene and found the impression in the snow. Perp was none too pleased when they rolled up to his place, and I guess he laughed when they told him how they caught him.