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Fun Thread: Describe a Mundane Gun as a Panicked Journalist Would

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by CmdrSlander, Mar 30, 2013.

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  1. berettaprofessor

    berettaprofessor Member

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    Although I got a giggle out of DeadMoneyDrew's ammo cache, I'm not playing...this thread and it's thoughts hits too close to home...and to journalistic reality. I'm not giving out any ideas.
     
  2. OilyPablo

    OilyPablo Member

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    You guys are limiting yourselves to words that technically could be used and fit in an odd if not perverse way. Liberal journalists have no such ethical, moral or responsible boundaries, let alone the just plain gumption to go ask a knowledgeable person when they don't know something. At the base of all this, the modern journalist is just plain lazy. And it easily shows.
     
  3. bottom shelf

    bottom shelf Member

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    You're right! So, concerning the OPs revolver... "Equipped with a state of the art high tech fiber optic laser sight"
     
  4. colorado_handgunner

    colorado_handgunner Member

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    What model is that revolver on the right? I had a chance to buy one a few years ago and didn't. I still kick myself for it. Please let me know.
     
  5. Fishslayer

    Fishslayer Member

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    Good gawd, man... !:D

     
  6. BluBob

    BluBob Member

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    The 9mm Parabellum. Even the name tells you it was made for a singular purpose. War.
     
  7. morcey2

    morcey2 Member

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    "This piece of hand-held artillery shares an action with the devastatingly devastating M102 105mm Howitzer. On top of that, it has been made to fire every military assault round that has ever existed!"

    800px-Ruger_no1_243_left_open.jpg
     
  8. sawdeanz

    sawdeanz Member

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    Reports indicate that the violent noises that awoke terrified lake residents were cause by a boater's negligent use of what could only be described as a large bore hand canon. This device fires flaming and exploding bullets hundreds of feet! These dangerous devices often have no safeties, are brightly colored so as to confuse children, and can be bought and sold by anyone and anywhere with no waiting periods. They accept deadly ordinance which looks like a shotgun bullet and can therefore be modified to accept ammo like poisonous lead buckshot or flechette rounds which are banned by the geneva convention for being so horrific. Officials indicate that these unregistered shotgun pistols are common on boats as quote on quote signal flare devices but because they have the tube thing that flips up for the single bullet clip to rapidly reload into without the need for lifesaving bullet buttons these so called flare guns are preferred by criminals. They also have the tactical restraint rope hole device where a string can be attached to make it more difficult for peace officers to unarm the user. Because they are concealable and have no safeties, criminals could use them to overpower women in alleys, especially those that carry guns for protection because we all know they are more likely to shoot themselves in the foot.

    The shooter claimed to be calling for help because his fishing boat was sinking but when police arrived with guns drawn they found the man swimming in the water with no boat, and promptly arrested him. Residents noted the several scary shots fired and thought they were involved in a mass shooting. If he had really needed help he should have just used a cell phone.
     
  9. Ford4x4

    Ford4x4 Member

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    This Assault rifle, with its lethal bullets and high capacity, is clearly designed only for killing humans. Shooting a bullet that is favored by many murderers and assassins, it holds probably hundreds of rounds in its tubular clip drum magazine. It has been called the rifle that you can load on Sunday and kill with all week long. What is worse, it has been disguised to look like a gun that has a legitimate sporting purpose, maybe even safe enough for a Boy Scout troop to use.

    Henry .22 lever action.
     
  10. tarosean

    tarosean Member

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    6b76ac116f996fffa8e0d9d3d5a25239_zpsadd8f8b0.gif


    *a few key changes in italics from a honest to goodness quote...
     
  11. miller.lyte

    miller.lyte Member

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    You guys are killer :evil: Here's another one for Mosins.



    Military-Style War-Ravaged Sniper Rifles Infiltrate U.S. Households

    russian_m91-30_sniper_full.jpg

    For over a half-century, these towering weapons of war have been entering the United States by the crateload. The Soviet Mosin-Nagant is the cheapest and most abundant sniper rifle available. Its meager price allows for even the underclass to be able to afford several of these. Worse yet, the sheer abundance of these rifles, all of which tower intimidatingly over the average school-aged child, suggests that millions of American citizens across the country likely own more than one of these Communist rifles. The Mosin-Nagant sniper rifle shares its country of origin with the notoriously bloody AK-15 high-caliber clip assault rifle, which is responsible for the horrific deaths of innocents worldwide. It is undoubtedly questionable as to why any patriot American would want to own not just any sniper rifle, but one that was born under Russia's darkest, anti-American days!

    The rifle also features a black bayonet, approximately the length of a young child's arm, with room to spare to slap on a modern black telescope to better snipe with. The gun comes with its own maintenance supplies, so easy takedown and repair is possible for even the most untrained mass-shooters, anytime, anywhere.
     
  12. rondog

    rondog Member

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    This despicable "cartoon" character is clearly designed to introduce and indoctrinate children into the world of dangerous firearms, and the irresponsible use thereof, and must IMMEDIATELY be banned from all forms of media!!!

    yosemite-sam-harold-shull.jpg

    What appears to be a "harmless squirt gun" is actually capable of delivering dangerous and noxious liquids, and may also incite homosexual tendencies in adolescent males. It must IMMEDIATELY be banned at all costs!

    homobatmansquirtgun02.jpg
     
  13. JustinJ

    JustinJ Member

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    How about a sensationalist mock high road post about how every news story involving guns is part of a conspiracy to commit mass genocide of americans?
     
  14. Anmut

    Anmut Member

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    This killing gun is mostly by police but also by killers. It shoots large 18mm projectiles that after exiting the shrouded barrel, break up into hundreds of projectiles that, flying around the speed of sound, spread out from muzzle. This "Pattern of Death" could cover the size of a mans body at 100 yards.

    870+before.png
     
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