Gun Quote(s) Of The Day

Status
Not open for further replies.
This one was inspired by someone on this forum.

Mom: What do you need that for? (Sar-1)
Me: MNZB's Mom.
Mom: What?
Me: Mutant Ninja Zombie Bears.


and another, traffic stop because I was coming home from the range a little fast. cop sees the .45 in its holster in the back seat.

Officer: Why do you have a gun in the car son?
Me: That's where it lives, Sir.
Officer: Is it loaded?
Me: Of course it is, an unloaded gun is a paperweight.
Officer: (chuckle) Okay, you mind if I hold onto it for a few minutes?

And the last one, while teaching a female to shoot. (Won't make that mistake again. Had to break up with this one over the incident.)

"Keep it pointed down range!!...."
(bullet goes through my car door.)
"OMG you just shot my car!"
 
Cesium, that's classic. Dionysis, nice twist. :)

My non-political hunter friend, after hearing me try to explain to him the real reason for the RKBA: "So really guns for for when the government gets too 'uppity'?". Me: "Exactly."
 
When trying to persuade my wife that we really, really need a home defense shotgun...

She: "Why do you need it?"
Me: " 'Cause you never know when the wolves will be coming..."

later


She: "Why do you need it?"
Me: " 'Cause you never know when the bears will be coming..."

later


She: "Why do you need it?"
Me: " 'Cause you never know when the zombies will be coming..."

later


She: "Why do you need it?"
Me: " 'Cause you never know when the British will be coming..."

Much, much later...


She: Well, I guess if it'll really make us safer from the bad guys....
 
Me: "Here, this is the .357 I told you about"
*hands Blackhawk, after clearing, to 'safe' friend*

Friend: *spins gun on finger*
*opens mouth to speak*

Me: *grab*
"Never, EVER do that! This is the ONLY warning before I NEVER let you touch any gun again!!"
*must... control... b--ch slap reflex...*
:banghead:

.........................................................................

another...

Me: "My ad for English class is for my Assault rifle"

Funny classmate: "That seems a very Republican thing to do..."

Me: "If I'd wanted to go Democrat, I'd be advertising Fat Man."
 
While out shooting with a friend...
him,"this .22 hits hard! It'll almost shoot through a telephone pole!"
me,"how do you know...have you ever cut one down to see?"
We don't shoot together anymore. :confused:
Mark.
 
Me to a clerk in a Gander Mountain store. "Do you carry 9x18 mm ammo?"
Clerk. "No, but 380's the same thing. Just use them." (This was not some teenage kid either.)

And people talk about Wally World. :what:
 
Me : are you sure its unloaded ??

JB : I know my guns unloaded what to take me for a fool? (then proceeds to throw his shotgun case into the trunk of his Imapala SS BOOOM !!!! :eek:

Me: it is now!! :D

the gun had a habit of misfiring (bad firing pin ) and the owner a habit of not clearing the chamber after it misfired . it blew out the quarter panel of his car and would gone into the side of my truck if I had not moved it earlier in the day .
 
And the last one, while teaching a female to shoot. (Won't make that mistake again. Had to break up with this one over the incident.)
Click to expand...
What a shame, xdoctor, I have taught 4 females how to shoot, and they all exercised good muzzle awareness. 3 of em didn't shoot too bad either.

That "Booger hook off the bang switch" quote is one of my favorites.
 
Favorites

That "Booger hook off the bang switch" quote is one of my favorites.

+1

Armoredman, cooks have got it tough. They have enemies on both sides.
A college engineering major and ROTC cadet graduates and reports for his basic and finishing schools prior to comissioning. Part of this is rifle marksmanship, and he's terrible. After repeated cussing and berating by the RO, our man places his finger over the muzzle and pulls the trigger. RO screams "What are you doing?" to which the engineer replies "Everything works fine here, the problem must be on the other end."

I really wish I could remember all the stupid remarks and questions I hear at the local gunshows from the ever-present pimp daddy's and wannabee's.
 
"Criminals will only cease to ply their trade when they fear their victims more than the police"

Don't remember where I heard that one but it struck a chord.

I just finished as a juror on a two week trial and this was re-enforced. The short story was the guy was a career petty criminal with many pages of arrests. Getting arrested was no big deal for him. I just think about all the insecurity he caused in his victims over the last 27 years after their homes and cars were broken into. :fire:
 
"She was just removing the hostage from the equation."
Click to expand...

I used that one after a REALLY bad night at the range.... :banghead: :banghead:
I couldn't hit the broad side of a barn, much less any bad guys... :cuss:
 
Guy at IPSC match to my wife. "I'm a photographer, have you ever modeled before?
What she was thinking but not said "you do realize I'm armed with a 45 and my husband can take you out at 1,000 yards if he wants to."
 
Godfather wrote:
Me: "Here, this is the .357 I told you about"
*hands Blackhawk, after clearing, to 'safe' friend*

Friend: *spins gun on finger*
*opens mouth to speak*
Click to expand...


IMO, there's a time to spin a single action sixgun, but that ain't the time. Not when 1) it's not your gun and 2) when it's your first time to handle a gun. I've spun mine, after clearing, and I've spun a couple I was contemplating buying because there's something about how a good sixgun balances. And too, while spinning a sixgun has no value in an actual gunfight, it does build up a shooter's hands to be stronger and better suited to using the peice more accurately. But, as I said, I disagree with that guy spinning one he didn't really have business with.

One of my favorite quotes, and I have several different ones, is Clint Smith saying "somebody may kill me with my own gun, but they'll have to beat me to death with it because it's going to be empty" or words to that effect, as I don't have the actually quote in front of me.

And then there's Matthew Quigley telling Marston "I said I never had much use for one; I never said I didn't know how."
 
Seen on a bumper sticker:

A black silhouette of a Minuteman on a white background. On the right, in all caps: "This country was built by white men with guns."

TM
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

T
  • Locked
Just like a kid with a new toy
Replies
2
Views
375
Yehen
Y
D
  • Locked
Took the NRA basic gun course and shot SIG 229 and CZ P-01
Replies
0
Views
264
Dean407
D
M
  • Locked
Am I becoming in-curable?
Replies
8
Views
768
BluesBear
B
C
  • Locked
Nasty weather but great day at the range!
Replies
1
Views
493
hksw
H
Dave Markowitz
  • Locked
Range day
Replies
0
Views
667
Dave Markowitz
Dave Markowitz
Back
Top