[Opinion]
To address the issue of FMJ for home defense/self defense. At home, I load the top four with the 'anti-penetration rounds'. There are four other people in the house. Under that goes +P JHP. The second mag is all +P JHP. Not at home, the second mag is in, and the extra mag is 4 +P JHP, followed by the rest FMJ.
I would feel perfectly fine carrying nothing but FMJ all the time. It's that old 'over penetration' concern. Heavy clothing often turns those fancy Hydrashocks or JHP into wound channels that look just like FMJ. (That's a guess on the would channel, but there are numerous reports of JHP not expanding for a variety of reasons.
But as to the young lady practicing with FMJ ammo, and having very little experience with increased recoil with SD ammo that she never/rarely practices with due to cost concerns... There isn't anything wrong with FMJ. It isn't the best tool for all jobs, but it is a sufficient tool to get the job done.
Also, from everything I have ever read, many encounters end with the presentation of the weapon or at the first shot being fired.
She went to the LGS, is looking to buy a handgun for SD. That, along with practice, will has a lot more to do with her ability to defend herself than before. And, as was stated earlier, FMJ is pretty much the most reliable ammo to feed any semi-automatic pistol I know of. She's off to a good start.
If you were truly upset and concerned, you could have made small talk with her about taking a class or asking whether she was planning to carry. It wouldn't have really stepped on anyone's toes. I carefully offer questions that an obvious new shooter should be asking while they are looking if the guy behind the counter is just pushing for a sale. I do the same thing at the hardware store. Carefully and tactfully asking a question is nothing more than simple human interaction.
I've made honest recommendations from handgun selection to power tool selection. Yeah, it takes a bit of my time. But I know all the times I didn't have someone offer some advice and learned the hard way that I didn't know as much as I thought. I also have no problem asking for advice from store employees (or directions, though I navigate quite well). Sometimes people surprise you with the true wealth of knowledge they are willing to share to help you. And if you have done some homework and know what questions to ask, you can determine if the person answering you knows what they are actually talking about. I have been given some fine advice, and some terrible advice. In both cases, I thank them for their time and make my own decision.
Several times, I have waited for the customer to step away and then engaged them in small talk. Usually, if they are unsure, I tell them to do some research, find out some more facts if they aren't comfortable making a decision.
Supporting new shooters is something that a lot of people take lightly. Friendly support and honest questions can go a lot farther to keep them interested than a quick sale with the wrong setup and no direction.
That being said, firearms, for some reason, are about the most over-opinionated and wrong-facted topics that can be found. No one on the planet can know enough to answer every question possible about firearms. And many of us have misconceptions, even among experienced shooters (who can sometimes lean to opinion over fact on their favorite gun related topic). If I offer advice, I make it clear it is my opinion and where it comes from, and then direct them to a source for more information. They can do with it as they please, or tell me to shove off. I get a lot more thank you's than I do go away's.
And even after all of that, should you hear someone tell someone else something completely false and even deadly, the cases where your legal obligation to step into a conversation would be hard to prove in a court of law. It is only a moral obligation and completely up to you. YMMV.
[/Opinion]
