It's 9mm for me, but I don't consider it "better" than the .45 - just softer-recoiling and much cheaper to practice with. Hollowpoints pretty much even it out.
I do, however, consider caliber wars and statements that 'caliber x is useless' a waste of time. Lots and lots of people have been killed by the same .25 that's "useless" today, and people are even starting to question whether a .38 Special is "enough gun". Plenty of bad guys killed with .38s too - ask them if it was enough.
For social situations, of course I want a 9mm or a .45 - but, as the saying goes, a Bersa .380 in your pocket is better than a .45 at home in the gun safe, right? Somethin' beats nothin' 100% of the time, and if the best someone can do with their price/weight/size requirements is .22, .25, .380. .38 or .50AE, I'm not gonna tell them they're a fool for it.
In any case, I apologize if my previous post came across as a flame. I tend to be very... blunt
when voicing opinions and I don't like beating around the bush. Best to you and yours, too!
Glad you're still around to share advice and experience with us youngins.
Hopefully, no one else chimes in to turn this into a caliber war thread.
Back on topic!