How do you deal with "the gun guy" at work?

[Sam1911]

Hi all,

Just got to thinking about a guy I knew at a job a while back and it made me curious to hear how others may have dealt with similar situations.

Folks close to me know about my interest in firearms, firearms history, firearms mechanics / physics, reloading, competition shooting, etc. Other folks I know a little -- through work, for example -- may get only the smallest glimpse of that part of my personality, for all of the obvious reasons. I'm pretty content to be the "stealth gun-guy" who might offer advice or a factual nugget if it seems appropriate, but otherwise doesn't draw attention to himself in that regard.

I have ended up working fairly closely, once or twice, with someone or another for whom "the gun thing" was a primary part of their public persona. Sometimes it is simply a bit over-the-top and silly. ("From my cold, dead hands" t-shirts worn to client meetings. Gun stickers that take up the entire rear window of their car...etc.) But sometimes it gets down-right inappropriate.

The most jarring example in my experience was the son of a contractor we were sub-contracting to on a large historic project who would bring up his (modest) gun collection and/or shooting exploits at any opportunity. Most often this was at lunch when the guys and young ladies (especially the young ladies) were a captive audience. He was quite proud of his AR-15, which is just fine, but he quite obviously used it as a "personality builder" ( -extender?) and, while no one in the very liberal/urban group we were with was ever anything but polite to him, they found it slightly intimidating and it just contributed to their opinion of him as off-putting, weird, and perhaps even a bit dangerous.

To me, his tales were a combination of silly and alarming. One Monday he walked up slowly wind-milling his right arm and rubbing his shoulder dramatically. "MAN, I'm sore! Put 300 rounds through my AR-15 this weekend! You should see the bruise!" That actually got a laugh out of me, but I don't think that was his intent. Other times he'd describe blatantly illegal and dangerous activities like shooting stray cats in the alley behind his house -- in a desnely residential section of a good sized city.

I never called him out on any of that, and kept the gun-talk to a minimum because I just wasn't comfortable relating to him through that and really didn't want to encourage further discussion. After a few months the job ended and we parted ways.

I think about it because I found it very frustrating. We're both "gun guys." We could have really hit it off and extended the "brotherhood" as it were. Or maybe I could have been a calming influence that encouraged him to be better informed, safe, and a better ambassador to the non-gun-owners all around us.

Anyone else end up in this situation? Conflicted between reaching out and helping a fellow "enthusiat" to mature, and just distancing youself from an overbearing blow-hard who's doing public-relations harm to our cause? What did you do? How did it work out?

Thanks,

-Sam

 

[General Geoff]

I tend to keep my enthusiasm for firearms to myself unless someone else brings up the subject, and even then, I'll only join in if I have something pertinent to add to the discussion; not just "Oh yeah?? Well I just shot my (insert expensive rifle here) yesterday!"

My coworkers know I'm a gun nut, but once again I don't bring it up at work unless there's already a conversation about it.

This guy sounds like he just needs to grow out of the mall ninja phase.

 

[Fisherman_48768]

Arms length would be a good distance to keep him, in other words be polite but keep to yourself. Your gonna be judged by the company you keep and dogs tend to share fleas when they run together.

 

[CoRoMo]

Both of you are of the same race, but look at it from opposing positions.

The guy you described is likely looking for other 'gun-guys' to open up and discuss these topics with wide open comfort. You would prefer to go about it in the stealth way you do.

His behavior might embarrass you. Your behavior (or lack thereof) might also frustrate him.

You would like him to shut-up, he might wish you would speak-up.


Just my $0.02

 

[SsevenN]

I've been working at this sign shop for over a year and a half. At this point most everyone knows I reload, shoot, and generally enjoy talking about firearms. I don't bring up the subject often, but there are quite a few shooters here so a few times a week we get on a nice little rant.

Then we have the bosses son. Who is mostly likely bi-polar, and a bit of a duggie, (perscriptions, and what-not, lots of accidents when he was younger, he's definatly messed up)

He is truly a scary person, I'm technically his 'boss' and since I've delt with bi-polar types before, I do a very good job of keeping him focused on work. We, 'get along'.

BUT, he has a tendency to threaten his father, not to his face of course, but we very often hear. "blah blah blah blah, and then I'm going to shoot him in the head" (referring to his own FATHER). Not to mention his constant references to 'putting a bullet in his (own) head'.

Now I'm new here, more or less, and it makes me nervous. But his entire family has been hearing this type of rant most of their lives. It's disturbing, and not limited to his father either. His basic response to anything he feels 'demasculated' by is to announce his willingness to 'shoot 'em in the head'. (cops, people he doesn't like in town)

In the end there is nothing I can do, he is incabable of living on his own (lives in the 'shop' across the street that is part of the bosses property). His Dad isn't going to cut him off, so we all just have to deal with it. Most have written it off as just bluster, but I wouldn't be too suprised if he followed through one of these days.

Okay, rant over. I figured it was a wierd 'gun guy at work' story and worth sharing. In the end there is nothing I can personally do except quit, which I won't be doing until I have a better job lined up, and doesn't seem to be coming together in the current economy.

Regards,
7

 

[HoosierQ]

Your alarm may be justified...and not just an annoyance.

That business about shooting stray cats is pretty scary stuff...and more than a little cruel. I mean this didn't sound like "I had to shoot a feral dog who was harassing my calves" kind of a thing...a perfectly normal and necessary act. Nor was it "got a great buck this weekend" kind of a thing...another perfectly normal, traditional, and downright all-American activity. This sounds like the dude kind of got off on killing something that wasn't game, wasn't a threat, wasn't a varmint in need of control, or wasn't something he was going to eat...etc.

When animals start getting killed out of cruelty (again not game, not varmints etc), I begin to wonder where the "mall ninja" thing ends and predictors of criminality begin. I would not go for that kind of interaction either.

 

[Stirling XD]

"I just got into Amway and I can't wait to tell you ALL about it."

 

[wyocarp]

Sounds like a great work day. Don't be so thin skinned. You couldn't find anything to talk with him about? I'd rather have that than the other way around.

 

[jerkface11]

That business about shooting stray cats is pretty scary stuff...This sounds like the dude kind of got off on killing something that wasn't a varmint in need of control

No experience with feral cats I take it.

 

[CoRoMo]

shooting stray cats is pretty scary stuff...This sounds like the dude kind of got off on killing something that wasn't a varmint in need of control

stray cats = a varmint in need of control

True or False?

Don't mean to get off topic here though.
I'll agree with wyocarp. I'd rather have to "put up" with a guy like that than to walk on eggshells and hide my life from an office filled with rabid antis. Given the choice between the two... which would you choose?

I know a guy that was fired because he was a gun owner.
I'd rather work somewhere that would 'tolerate' this guy and myself rather than living in the shadows and conditioning myself into being ashamed of my hobby/interest/passion.

You are not a guilty criminal -- stop acting like it.

I'll stop my rant now.

 

[wyocarp]

To me, it makes for a great Monday morning to be able to say to someone, "So, did you shoot anything over the weekend?"

"Sure did. I shot my 50 BMG over the weekend and even got a gopher with it."

"Wow. The only thing I got was a stray cat that was acting like it was going into heat again."

 

[DHJenkins]

I like to play "one up".

Got a bruise after 300 rounds? My wife fired 1,000 and never complained.

Still talking about that AR-15? I just finished building my 7th.

etc, etc...

The more ridiculous your claim, the faster they quit playing.

 

[youngda9]

Serial killers generally start by killing cats and small animals. Stay away from this guy.

 

[hso]

Anyone else end up in this situation? Conflicted between reaching out and helping a fellow "enthusiat" to mature, and just distancing youself from an overbearing blow-hard who's doing public-relations harm to our cause?

We all end up in that situation. I always take the "helping to mature" approach. If I'm the good quiet respectable "gun guy" and the attention is going to the "weird slightly scary" gun guy that hurts our position.

 

[HoosierQ]

On the cat thing.

The OP noted that this cat shooting business took place in an urban area where shooting anything is illegal. That was my take away.

Yes, feral cats are a problem indeed and I would agree they qualify as varmints.

Perhaps I should have added "I had to take care of a feral cat problem around my place" as an example of "normal" behavior...which it would be...I agree.

I do stick with my original idea however...shooting things in the city where it is illegal to do so and very likely dangerous to people is a predictor (not a guarantee) of criminality. I don't think the OP meant to say that the guy had a feral cat problem...killing chickens kind of a thing which happened to us when I was a kid. He meant, as I read it, the guy shoots cats in the city for kicks. That's wacky.

 

[Water Garden]

There are clones of this type person everywhere I have ever worked. We had one fellow who would always wear some type of tell-tale gun gear to work for the sole purpose of wanting to express his supernatural knowledge on the subject. He would also (on casual day) wear a kung-fu uniform and ninja boots.

 

[CoRoMo]

He would also (on casual day) wear a kung-fu uniform and ninja boots.

LOL!!

 

[Funderb]

"MAN, I'm sore! Put 300 rounds through my AR-15 this weekend! You should see the bruise!"

hahahahahhaha.
it must have been a joke, or he doesn't own an AR.

I've done something similar with the mosins, you should have seen THAT bruise!!!

this guy sounds like he is new to shooting, and wants everyone to know.

just firmly remind him you aren't comfortable with that kind of talk.

 

[searcher451]

There are gun guys, and then there are "gun" guys. The second variety are easy to ignore, and I generally do, often with a small remark along the lines of, "Your boasts and braggings are out of line and not welcome here -- not today, not ever." On the other hand, the first variety are always welcome. The true gun guy at my work is a former 30-year LEO who was hired to do security. He's terrific: knowledgable, solid, stand-up, smart, funny -- everything you'd want and exactly what you'd expect from someone in his position. I always enjoy the time and conversation I get to spend with him.

 

[Sam1911]

Wow! Lots of replies! Thanks for the thoughts, guys!

I do really enjoy getting to talk shooting and hunting with my co-workers when that's appropriate, and I've been fortunate to work more places where that was acceptable than where it isn't.

The issue I'm mostly interested in is dealing with the (seemingly) mal-adjusted, or maybe just lonely, guy who likes to intimidate and unnerve people with his "gunny-ness." Even more so if he can get some "bad-boy" points by bragging about illegal and very unsafe activities like discharging a rifle within his urban neighborhood.

(Feral cats are varmints? Sure. Firing 5.56mm rounds in a city alley full of cars, people, and the windows of the surrounding homes is a completely illegitimate plan for dealing with them. Either way, it probably never happened. He just talks the talk.)

It is tempting to play the one-up game, and it would be pretty easy to "win," too, but I can't help feeling that this is buying into his game -- which I want no part of. One-on-one this is fine and probably will give him some needed perspective. In a public group of un-gun-educated young people who I might like to make a positive impression upon? Not so good.

I didn't mean to make this about that one guy I knew, either. As WG said, there are closes of this guy everywhere.

Part of why I opened this discussion is that I don't think I did what I perhaps should have done. I talked guns with him very briefly on one or two occasions but for the most part I just eneded up letting him ramble. I could have tried to shut him up. I could have tried to buddy up and reign him in. Instead I just let a month or two pass knowing he'd be gone soon. I'd like to think I could have helped somehow.

-Sam

 

[Zach S]

I am the gun guy at work.

However, I'm not the loud, obnoxious, "from my cold dead hands," "300 rounds from my AR gave me a bruise," "use birdshot for home defense" gun guy.

Other "gun guys" don't like me. Just like car guys, I call them on their BS. I figure if I can tell they're gonna get on my nerves, I can tick em off or make them look stupid early, and they'll leave me alone.

 

[Nuke8401]

Take them by surprise and hit them hard

I’ve been in this job about 3 months; I work with a loudmouth ex-cop, expert hunter, expert fisherman, expert on every subject in the book. He constantly talks about politics and guns. He essentially harasses everyone with a different political opinion than his. I normally don’t wrestle with pigs, because you both get dirty and the pigs like it (My use of this old saying is not in reference to COPs, I have respect for most COPs). But I had to make an exception for this guy. I told him I had a Glock 9mm, of course he said his Kimber was far superior and that .45 ACP was the only real man stopper. I shoot IDPA regularly, SSP EX, and think I am on the verge of making master; plus a little 3-gun (tactical) when I get a chance. So I told him I was a new shooter and interested in practical/action pistol shooting and asked him to take me shooting at his club, he reluctantly said OK. Well after our little club get-together he has become pretty meek about his expertise as a shooter. I did get the opportunity to shoot his Kimber (Ultra compact II?); I wanted to make sure he knew I could spank him with any gun, even his. Things are much better at work now; he has even backed off the political commentary. By the way, his Kimber was a jam-o-matic, are they all that way?

So the moral is, treat bullies like bullies, take them by surprise and hit them hard and they will leave you alone.

 

[mbt2001]

Uhhhh....

Usually people like that, I just nod my head and say non committal things and be polite and go on my way. Sometimes, if they are doing something that violates my principles, I will say as much.

But usually, I handle them like you handle crazy people... Just nod and make your escape.

 

[MagnumDweeb]

I'm probably 'that guy' but I wait for people to ask a question or saything blatantly anti and stupid. Otherwise I'm smiles and laughs. Bad enough (i've been told) I look like a serial prison rapist(meaning that guy you don't want to ever share a cell with), and have my head shaved at most times. I've talked about my builds, it's a lot fun and once you appreciate the PITA it really is and the maturity it takes to be patient and discplined at cutting a mm of steel minute and not to rush the job(rush equals really expensive paperweight). But I don't talk about them at school, "oh you build guns, call the ATF", I don't build guns, I refurbish them, but most people don't understand that.

I don't like people who run their mouths or make incredible claims, I'd take them and spank them at the range but that's part of my time to relax and decompress outside of going to the gym, it's my 'me' time. I do like telling them they are wrong and explaining to them how they are idiots but that's the extent. And a bruise from 300 of .223, yeah no, maybe forty rounds of fully-loaded 12 gauge or a hundred round of .308 Winchester (I've stopped shooting both because my cache is less than 2k of .308 and less than a hundred of 12 gauge).

I would have called him on the stray cats, but then again I'm the idiot who punched a man in the throat who had a 1911 pointed at his chest (granted he didn't have the hammer cocked, and it was definetly only a SA model, turned out to be a Llama, I hate Miami.

 

[DHJenkins]

...He would also (on casual day) wear a kung-fu uniform and ninja boots.

That I would pay to see.

Along the same lines, I used to work with a remarkably flamboyant graphic artist at a screen printing shop. No graphic descriptions, thankfully, but just on and on about their lifestyle. Every friday, this person came into work in full-on drag; and not pant-suit paula drag - more like 'looking for a good time' drag.