I just got my last essay back from my "Ethnic Studies" class (yes, that one again) and I got NO CREDIT. 
I have NEVER gotten such a low grade before on a writing assignment. I have always been an exemplary writer.
I strongly believe that my "professor" took a cheap shot at me because he doesn't approve of my opinions.
I know that there are some educators on this board, as well as many other intelligent people, and I request your assistance.
I am going to post the prompt the "professor" gave us, my essay as given to him, and his remarks.
Please tell me what you think, and of course be honest.
He is going to be so gracious as to allow me to rewrite it, but I honestly do not think I have to, and I don't have the time to. (School is over in two weeks and I've got other classes, believe it or not.)
I am willing to take it to his superiors if necessary.
I'd like to add that we discussed this essay A LOT in class, as most all of the class was very confused and lost on it. In addition, we even spent most of a class session after we turned it in discussing further what he expected from it.
THAT is how vague and ambiguous he is as to what he wants.
Anyhow, enough from me.
Essay Prompt:
Write a 5-page essay discussing the impact of political, legal, economic, and social obstacles experienced by racial/ethnic groups on their economic class, positioin, social status, and political power. Discuss similarities and differences among the groups.
Your analysis must be grounded in, backed up by, or explained in terms of the reading material. Although this paper will utilize the ideas in the readings, the analysis should represent your own articulation and synthesis of ideas in the readings. (Pay very careful attention to this last sentence. ALL of my ideas in my essay are garnered from, and backed up solely by the class reading materials. This last paragraph here is what makes me question his motives in grading my paper as he did. Again, as he said, its supposed to "represent your own articulation and synthesis of ideas in the readings." Since he doesn't agree with my ideas, I think he knocked my grade. His comments make me question his motives a ton too.)
My Essay:
“Perhaps what I value most in Western Culture has been this profound sense of “freedomâ€â€¦a freedom of movement and choice that is essential to any human being, and certainly essential for any writer†(Hagedorn 44). America is a country of immigrants; it was founded by immigrants and populated by immigrants. Most immigrants came to America in search of something they could not find anywhere else in the world: Freedom and a chance to better their condition. Unfortunately, all immigrants encountered barriers of some sort in their quest for true freedom as well as political, social, economic, and legal equality in this country. In this essay I will examine the impact of various obstacles that have been experienced by different ethnic groups on their current social, political and economic situations.
It is purported that one of the obstacles Native Americans encountered that most hindered their status in this country was that of “exclusionâ€; a result of which Native Americans were not allowed to become integrated into the major institutions of American society (Pedraza 16). This simply is not true. Beginning in 1882, the United States government began an “Assimilation Policy†that it imposed on many Native Americans. Under this policy, the government removed Indian children to boarding schools where their native language and cultural practices were replaced with those of America (Earth 136). The American “Assimilation Policy†is inclusion and assimilation forced upon the Indians; it is not indicative of “exclusion.†This inclusion that was forced upon Native Americans is further demonstrated by the lack of public education instruction on Native American subjects, which serves to further integrate Native Americans into American life (Churchill 247).
Contrary to the claim that Americans excluded Native Americans, if they have suffered from exclusion in any form, it is because they have chosen to not assimilate or include themselves. This is illustrated by the long history of lawsuits and militant skirmishes between Indian tribes and the United States Government (Earth; all pgs.). The Native Americans do not fight the U.S. Government in order to win “inclusion†for themselves; they fight to “free themselves and the lands upon which they depend from the grip of U.S. and Canadian colonialism†(Earth 146). This statement demonstrates that Native Americans do not seek social, political, legal, or any form of “inclusion†with the United States. They wish to remain separate and to regain sovereignty as nations separate from the United States, but while living within American borders (Churchill 149). There have been many legal battles over sovereignty issues throughout history between the US Government and various Native American groups, and the battles still continue today.
Like all immigrant groups who came to America, European immigrants faced many obstacles. However, in most cases the obstacles the European immigrants encountered served to strengthen and aid them. Anti-German sentiment existed in America from the time of the American Revolution, and culminated in anti-German hysteria during World War I. (Kamphoefner 152 & 160). German immigrants clustered together in cities, which helped them preserve their language, culture, customs, and otherwise protected them from a hostile America (Kamphoefner 154). Some Germans acted very differently from groups such as African Americans and Chinese in that they rapidly urbanized upon first arriving in America, and as they earned enough money they would purchase land and move to rural areas. The Germans proved to be very successful in agriculture, and were the largest immigrant group in agriculture. They were also quite isolated in the rural areas and the least assimilated, and since they chose to remain isolated they were able to preserve their traditional culture, language, and customs without much persecution (Kamphoefner 160). Throughout the twentieth century, most all Germans have assimilated fully into mainstream American society; politically, legally, socially, and economically (Kamphoefner 160).
The Irish immigrated to America in order to escape poverty and famine. The Irish faced obstacles to equality before they even left their home country. Like Native Americans, the Irish had their land taken from them by the English and became increasingly poorer as a result. The English barred the Irish from sending their children to school, they faced severe economic and religious persecution in Ireland, and most Irish first came to America as indentured servants or prisoners (Diner 162-163). Yet despite the many obstacles the Irish faced in Ireland and in America, despite their extreme poverty and the strong anti-Irish sentiment in America, these obstacles only served to help the Irish forge a stronger Irish identity (Diner 166). They banded together in the face of hardship and overcame it. The extreme poverty that plagued many Irish is evident from their amazingly high rates of mortality, alcohol-related deaths, and high infant mortality. Mainstream American hostility toward the Irish persisted well into the twentieth century, as did the fact that a disproportionate amount of Irish were imprisoned and in mental institutions (Diner 169-170). These are the same problems that Blacks face today: disproportionate imprisonment, rampant drug and alcohol abuse, and poverty (Glasser 88-90). However, in spite of the many obstacles the Irish faced, by the early twentieth century many had moved into the middle and upper classes of American Society (Diner 170).
Blacks came to America from Africa much like some Irish did: unwillingly through slavery. Slaves in the US had come from many different African cultures and were charged with the difficult task of adjusting not only to a whole new way of life under slavery, but also to each other; they essentially had to build a new culture. This new culture included a new church, language, value system, economic and political structure (Rawick 62). While slaves were not allowed to legally marry and families were often broken up, they did not breed promiscuously; they did form relationships. With the end of the civil war came the end of slavery, and thousands of freed slaves went to reunite with their family members from whom they had been separated.
In the late nineteenth and early twentieth century, many newly freed blacks migrated from the south in search of a new life. Many moved to the industrialized North, and it proved to be a perfectly timed decision; World War I was under way, and the demand for labor was huge, thus providing many blacks with jobs (Marks 73-74). Like Mexican, Asian, and European Immigrants, blacks faced much racial prejudice in the workplace. Many blacks were denied jobs because of their color, and often the most dangerous, low-paying, and “dirty†jobs were reserved for blacks (Marks 74). Blacks suffered from discrimination and segregation to a much greater degree than any other immigrant group. Discrimination, segregation, and political inequality were largely ended as a result of the Civil Rights movement of the 1960’s, and blacks have been able to assimilate into mainstream American society in ways that were impossible before the 60’s (Cohen and Kennedy 290-291).
Asian immigrants were drawn to America largely because of the huge labor demand created by the gold rush in the mid-1800’s. Because their reason for immigrating was hard labor, a disproportionate number of Chinese who came into the US were men. Chinese women were also discouraged from immigrating because of patriarchal control in China (Chow 113). In the later part of the nineteenth century, most of the Chinese women that immigrated to the US were either prostitutes, like many Japanese women, or indentured servants, like many Irish immigrants. Similar to German, Irish, and Mexican Immigrants, the Chinese lived clustered together in Chinatowns. The towns were formed as a self-defense mechanism to insulate them from racial conflicts and anti-Chinese hostility, and also served as a support system for the Chinese as well (Chow 114). The Chinese carved a niche for themselves in various “ethnic enterprises†such as laundries, restaurants, and all manner of retail stores. The Chinese viewed business ownership as a symbol of opportunity, just as the Irish viewed politics, and the Germans regarded land ownership (Chow 118, Diner 166, Kamphoefner 155). Despite the hardships they encountered, the Chinese lovingly referred to the United States as “the Gold Mountain†and found a much greater degree of social freedom in America (Chow 118-119). Chinese women, who suffered greatly from exclusionary immigration policies and other barriers, have been experiencing a dramatic increase in their labor force participation rate, which currently surpasses that of white women (Chow 120). Intrestingly, Chinese women did not have to resort to tactics of anger and agitation as advocated by some black women as means to gain inclusion and equality (Lorde 99).
Mexican immigrants have faced many of the same obstacles as European and Asian immigrants. Mexicans, like all other immigrant groups, have had to struggle for full economic, social, legal, and political rights and integration. Mexican Americans gained legal citizenship in 1848 as a result of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, and that is where their struggle for equal rights began (Romo 85). From 1930 to 1964, Mexican Americans began a movement to challenge their second-class status. They successfully desegregated schools in Texas and California, and gained broad legal protection with the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (Romo 85-86). In some New Mexican counties, Mexicans were able to influence the local political process, exactly like Irish and German immigrants did. For the Irish, involvement in politics complemented their climb into the middle class, as it has aided all immigrant groups (Romo 88, Diner 169). Again exactly like Asian and Irish immigrants with their Chinatowns and shanties, Mexicans set up communities called “barrios†which served as support systems on many levels for them (Romo 90). Largely due to gains from the Civil Rights movement and organizations formed since then, voter registration is up among Mexicans, and the number of Mexican American elected officials continues to rise. In Texas alone, the number of elected Mexican American officials has rocketed from 500 in 1973 to 2,000 in 1992 (Romo 96).
Every group that immigrated to America has encountered numerous obstacles to political, social, economic, and legal equality and success. Each immigrant group provoked frenzied bursts of xenophobia from the larger American society (Cohen and Kennedy 193). “Completely by the accident of racism, we have been bound together with people with whom we may or may not have something in common, just because we are ‘black’†(Gates 30). This sentiment applies equally to all groups of immigrants, as each have at one time or another faced persecution based on their ethnic background. Most immigrants came to America in search of a better life, and some came unwillingly. In spite of numerous obstacles, all immigrant groups have achieved levels of success and freedom unparalleled anywhere else in the world.
END.
My professors remarks:
Strati, unfortunately you wrote an essay which does not address the question of how obstacles affected the status of these groups. Instead, you wrote an essay on how these groups have experienced mobility despite obstacles. Thus, for the exception of AFrican Americans, the discussion throughout the entire essay is lacking.
So, no credit.
You have a lot of key info here in terms of the obstacles. If you wish to rewrite it, I will allow you to do so, but make sure to get your facts straight and not define terms in a convenient fashion. (THIS REALLY makes me question his motives in grading my paper!!!!!!)
***(This remark of his below here also is highly questionable, as it sounds exactly like the only reason he knocked my paper is because he doesn't approve of my opinion. As I stated above, ALL of my ideas and statements were backed up by, and "synthesized" from the books.)***
If there is any group that takes pride in, and has fought to be considered Americans, its native americans. There's probably more U.S. Flags per capita among native americans than any other group. Strange, huh? ***(See, he disagrees with my opinion set forth in my essay.)***
This is an ethnic studies class, one set upu to teach students the obstacles encountered by people of color and their impact. This essay in many ways glosses over taht fact. You make a good argument but you also neglect much of the info in Schneider (1997) and Cohen and Kennedy (2000). (I am not sure what the prof. is referring to here, I'll have to check.)
Regardless, there's the need to do the assignment. Don't dismay, Strati. You are an above-average writer, exemplary in fact. What's missing is the assignment.
END.
If you are still with me, you are awesome.
I would really appreciate any and all input as to what you think;
-Did I fulfill the guidlines stated in the essay prompt?
-Pay special attention to his remarks that I highlighted. I believe they show his motives.
Anyhow, of course be blunt and honest.
If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, and I'll redo the essay. I just want your opinions before I confront him.
Regardless, I REALLY don't think I deserved absolutely ZERO credit.
Thank you SO much.
Drjones
I have NEVER gotten such a low grade before on a writing assignment. I have always been an exemplary writer.
I strongly believe that my "professor" took a cheap shot at me because he doesn't approve of my opinions.
I know that there are some educators on this board, as well as many other intelligent people, and I request your assistance.
I am going to post the prompt the "professor" gave us, my essay as given to him, and his remarks.
Please tell me what you think, and of course be honest.
He is going to be so gracious as to allow me to rewrite it, but I honestly do not think I have to, and I don't have the time to. (School is over in two weeks and I've got other classes, believe it or not.)
I am willing to take it to his superiors if necessary.
I'd like to add that we discussed this essay A LOT in class, as most all of the class was very confused and lost on it. In addition, we even spent most of a class session after we turned it in discussing further what he expected from it.
THAT is how vague and ambiguous he is as to what he wants.
Anyhow, enough from me.
Essay Prompt:
Write a 5-page essay discussing the impact of political, legal, economic, and social obstacles experienced by racial/ethnic groups on their economic class, positioin, social status, and political power. Discuss similarities and differences among the groups.
Your analysis must be grounded in, backed up by, or explained in terms of the reading material. Although this paper will utilize the ideas in the readings, the analysis should represent your own articulation and synthesis of ideas in the readings. (Pay very careful attention to this last sentence. ALL of my ideas in my essay are garnered from, and backed up solely by the class reading materials. This last paragraph here is what makes me question his motives in grading my paper as he did. Again, as he said, its supposed to "represent your own articulation and synthesis of ideas in the readings." Since he doesn't agree with my ideas, I think he knocked my grade. His comments make me question his motives a ton too.)
My Essay:
“Perhaps what I value most in Western Culture has been this profound sense of “freedomâ€â€¦a freedom of movement and choice that is essential to any human being, and certainly essential for any writer†(Hagedorn 44). America is a country of immigrants; it was founded by immigrants and populated by immigrants. Most immigrants came to America in search of something they could not find anywhere else in the world: Freedom and a chance to better their condition. Unfortunately, all immigrants encountered barriers of some sort in their quest for true freedom as well as political, social, economic, and legal equality in this country. In this essay I will examine the impact of various obstacles that have been experienced by different ethnic groups on their current social, political and economic situations.
It is purported that one of the obstacles Native Americans encountered that most hindered their status in this country was that of “exclusionâ€; a result of which Native Americans were not allowed to become integrated into the major institutions of American society (Pedraza 16). This simply is not true. Beginning in 1882, the United States government began an “Assimilation Policy†that it imposed on many Native Americans. Under this policy, the government removed Indian children to boarding schools where their native language and cultural practices were replaced with those of America (Earth 136). The American “Assimilation Policy†is inclusion and assimilation forced upon the Indians; it is not indicative of “exclusion.†This inclusion that was forced upon Native Americans is further demonstrated by the lack of public education instruction on Native American subjects, which serves to further integrate Native Americans into American life (Churchill 247).
Contrary to the claim that Americans excluded Native Americans, if they have suffered from exclusion in any form, it is because they have chosen to not assimilate or include themselves. This is illustrated by the long history of lawsuits and militant skirmishes between Indian tribes and the United States Government (Earth; all pgs.). The Native Americans do not fight the U.S. Government in order to win “inclusion†for themselves; they fight to “free themselves and the lands upon which they depend from the grip of U.S. and Canadian colonialism†(Earth 146). This statement demonstrates that Native Americans do not seek social, political, legal, or any form of “inclusion†with the United States. They wish to remain separate and to regain sovereignty as nations separate from the United States, but while living within American borders (Churchill 149). There have been many legal battles over sovereignty issues throughout history between the US Government and various Native American groups, and the battles still continue today.
Like all immigrant groups who came to America, European immigrants faced many obstacles. However, in most cases the obstacles the European immigrants encountered served to strengthen and aid them. Anti-German sentiment existed in America from the time of the American Revolution, and culminated in anti-German hysteria during World War I. (Kamphoefner 152 & 160). German immigrants clustered together in cities, which helped them preserve their language, culture, customs, and otherwise protected them from a hostile America (Kamphoefner 154). Some Germans acted very differently from groups such as African Americans and Chinese in that they rapidly urbanized upon first arriving in America, and as they earned enough money they would purchase land and move to rural areas. The Germans proved to be very successful in agriculture, and were the largest immigrant group in agriculture. They were also quite isolated in the rural areas and the least assimilated, and since they chose to remain isolated they were able to preserve their traditional culture, language, and customs without much persecution (Kamphoefner 160). Throughout the twentieth century, most all Germans have assimilated fully into mainstream American society; politically, legally, socially, and economically (Kamphoefner 160).
The Irish immigrated to America in order to escape poverty and famine. The Irish faced obstacles to equality before they even left their home country. Like Native Americans, the Irish had their land taken from them by the English and became increasingly poorer as a result. The English barred the Irish from sending their children to school, they faced severe economic and religious persecution in Ireland, and most Irish first came to America as indentured servants or prisoners (Diner 162-163). Yet despite the many obstacles the Irish faced in Ireland and in America, despite their extreme poverty and the strong anti-Irish sentiment in America, these obstacles only served to help the Irish forge a stronger Irish identity (Diner 166). They banded together in the face of hardship and overcame it. The extreme poverty that plagued many Irish is evident from their amazingly high rates of mortality, alcohol-related deaths, and high infant mortality. Mainstream American hostility toward the Irish persisted well into the twentieth century, as did the fact that a disproportionate amount of Irish were imprisoned and in mental institutions (Diner 169-170). These are the same problems that Blacks face today: disproportionate imprisonment, rampant drug and alcohol abuse, and poverty (Glasser 88-90). However, in spite of the many obstacles the Irish faced, by the early twentieth century many had moved into the middle and upper classes of American Society (Diner 170).
Blacks came to America from Africa much like some Irish did: unwillingly through slavery. Slaves in the US had come from many different African cultures and were charged with the difficult task of adjusting not only to a whole new way of life under slavery, but also to each other; they essentially had to build a new culture. This new culture included a new church, language, value system, economic and political structure (Rawick 62). While slaves were not allowed to legally marry and families were often broken up, they did not breed promiscuously; they did form relationships. With the end of the civil war came the end of slavery, and thousands of freed slaves went to reunite with their family members from whom they had been separated.
In the late nineteenth and early twentieth century, many newly freed blacks migrated from the south in search of a new life. Many moved to the industrialized North, and it proved to be a perfectly timed decision; World War I was under way, and the demand for labor was huge, thus providing many blacks with jobs (Marks 73-74). Like Mexican, Asian, and European Immigrants, blacks faced much racial prejudice in the workplace. Many blacks were denied jobs because of their color, and often the most dangerous, low-paying, and “dirty†jobs were reserved for blacks (Marks 74). Blacks suffered from discrimination and segregation to a much greater degree than any other immigrant group. Discrimination, segregation, and political inequality were largely ended as a result of the Civil Rights movement of the 1960’s, and blacks have been able to assimilate into mainstream American society in ways that were impossible before the 60’s (Cohen and Kennedy 290-291).
Asian immigrants were drawn to America largely because of the huge labor demand created by the gold rush in the mid-1800’s. Because their reason for immigrating was hard labor, a disproportionate number of Chinese who came into the US were men. Chinese women were also discouraged from immigrating because of patriarchal control in China (Chow 113). In the later part of the nineteenth century, most of the Chinese women that immigrated to the US were either prostitutes, like many Japanese women, or indentured servants, like many Irish immigrants. Similar to German, Irish, and Mexican Immigrants, the Chinese lived clustered together in Chinatowns. The towns were formed as a self-defense mechanism to insulate them from racial conflicts and anti-Chinese hostility, and also served as a support system for the Chinese as well (Chow 114). The Chinese carved a niche for themselves in various “ethnic enterprises†such as laundries, restaurants, and all manner of retail stores. The Chinese viewed business ownership as a symbol of opportunity, just as the Irish viewed politics, and the Germans regarded land ownership (Chow 118, Diner 166, Kamphoefner 155). Despite the hardships they encountered, the Chinese lovingly referred to the United States as “the Gold Mountain†and found a much greater degree of social freedom in America (Chow 118-119). Chinese women, who suffered greatly from exclusionary immigration policies and other barriers, have been experiencing a dramatic increase in their labor force participation rate, which currently surpasses that of white women (Chow 120). Intrestingly, Chinese women did not have to resort to tactics of anger and agitation as advocated by some black women as means to gain inclusion and equality (Lorde 99).
Mexican immigrants have faced many of the same obstacles as European and Asian immigrants. Mexicans, like all other immigrant groups, have had to struggle for full economic, social, legal, and political rights and integration. Mexican Americans gained legal citizenship in 1848 as a result of the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, and that is where their struggle for equal rights began (Romo 85). From 1930 to 1964, Mexican Americans began a movement to challenge their second-class status. They successfully desegregated schools in Texas and California, and gained broad legal protection with the Civil Rights Act of 1964 (Romo 85-86). In some New Mexican counties, Mexicans were able to influence the local political process, exactly like Irish and German immigrants did. For the Irish, involvement in politics complemented their climb into the middle class, as it has aided all immigrant groups (Romo 88, Diner 169). Again exactly like Asian and Irish immigrants with their Chinatowns and shanties, Mexicans set up communities called “barrios†which served as support systems on many levels for them (Romo 90). Largely due to gains from the Civil Rights movement and organizations formed since then, voter registration is up among Mexicans, and the number of Mexican American elected officials continues to rise. In Texas alone, the number of elected Mexican American officials has rocketed from 500 in 1973 to 2,000 in 1992 (Romo 96).
Every group that immigrated to America has encountered numerous obstacles to political, social, economic, and legal equality and success. Each immigrant group provoked frenzied bursts of xenophobia from the larger American society (Cohen and Kennedy 193). “Completely by the accident of racism, we have been bound together with people with whom we may or may not have something in common, just because we are ‘black’†(Gates 30). This sentiment applies equally to all groups of immigrants, as each have at one time or another faced persecution based on their ethnic background. Most immigrants came to America in search of a better life, and some came unwillingly. In spite of numerous obstacles, all immigrant groups have achieved levels of success and freedom unparalleled anywhere else in the world.
END.
My professors remarks:
Strati, unfortunately you wrote an essay which does not address the question of how obstacles affected the status of these groups. Instead, you wrote an essay on how these groups have experienced mobility despite obstacles. Thus, for the exception of AFrican Americans, the discussion throughout the entire essay is lacking.
So, no credit.
You have a lot of key info here in terms of the obstacles. If you wish to rewrite it, I will allow you to do so, but make sure to get your facts straight and not define terms in a convenient fashion. (THIS REALLY makes me question his motives in grading my paper!!!!!!)
***(This remark of his below here also is highly questionable, as it sounds exactly like the only reason he knocked my paper is because he doesn't approve of my opinion. As I stated above, ALL of my ideas and statements were backed up by, and "synthesized" from the books.)***
If there is any group that takes pride in, and has fought to be considered Americans, its native americans. There's probably more U.S. Flags per capita among native americans than any other group. Strange, huh? ***(See, he disagrees with my opinion set forth in my essay.)***
This is an ethnic studies class, one set upu to teach students the obstacles encountered by people of color and their impact. This essay in many ways glosses over taht fact. You make a good argument but you also neglect much of the info in Schneider (1997) and Cohen and Kennedy (2000). (I am not sure what the prof. is referring to here, I'll have to check.)
Regardless, there's the need to do the assignment. Don't dismay, Strati. You are an above-average writer, exemplary in fact. What's missing is the assignment.
END.
If you are still with me, you are awesome.
I would really appreciate any and all input as to what you think;
-Did I fulfill the guidlines stated in the essay prompt?
-Pay special attention to his remarks that I highlighted. I believe they show his motives.
Anyhow, of course be blunt and honest.
If I'm wrong, I'm wrong, and I'll redo the essay. I just want your opinions before I confront him.
Regardless, I REALLY don't think I deserved absolutely ZERO credit.
Thank you SO much.
Drjones
)
