If Guns Were People... (Fun Thread)

[blarby]

Any rifle that shoots .308 Winchester is sister mary rap-your-knuckles.

Some of you may remember her- other may only rue the thought- and so are legends born.

She can hear you thinking of sin at 1000 yards, and she only misses with that 2x4 of a straightedge when the man upstairs judges you worthy- which ain't often.

She makes grown men rouse in the night, screaming of her memory, and even the mention of her memory keeps all the little despots in line.

 

[Teachu2]

My HS .22WMR derringer was like my then GF - short, loud, and uncontrollable...

 

[sleepyone]

A Glock is like a good wife. There might be prettier, newer, better dressed pistols out there but when it really counts you know what your going to grab for. A Glock like a good wife may not be as exciting as other offerings but you take comfort and have confidence in something your so familiar with, and has been dependable and by your side from day 1.

Southside830, I hope your wife does not read this!

 

[sleepyone]

A "Wilma" Combat or "Edna" Brown is like that drop-dead, gorgeous beauty queen you fell head over heels for at first sight and just had to have but upon acquiring her you discovered you severely overspent and could have had your every whim and desire completely satisfied by her younger and hotter sister; "Leslie" Bear.

 

[justice06rr]

The AKM is your dependable friend. You can always count on him to help you move your couch, fix your car, or bury a body! He always wears the same get-up, but it works for him, so he sees no reason to every change.

+100000 on this

The AK is a dependable, low-maintenance, but fun friend to have. Always up for a good time and not picky on what it eats.

May not be the best looking friend (gun), and sometimes looked down upon and misunderstood, but it has withstood the test of time. Does not always need those expensive high-end accesories like your other rich stuck-up friends (AR15's).

 

[justice06rr]

I would say that a M&P pistol is like a pretty young chick thats new on the block. Has not been around too long but has slowly gained popularity. All-American, not like some Eastern European girl from Austria who thinks she's perfect when obviously they're not.

A Mosin Nagant is that old friend you know that has been around for a while, always willing to help, reliable, and is not expensive to hangout with. Even if you don't call or hangout with this person for a while, once you call him he's ready to go and does not whine or complain!

 

[Indifferent]

Smith and Wesson 642, semi clean cut office staff, there to get the job done, doesn't care about office politics.

 

[MachIVshooter]

Remington 700 is the tall, stoic, well-dressed gentleman who doesn't say much, but when he does speak, it's succinct, correct and respected. The Winchester model 70 is the slightly shorter version of him.

 

[BigBore44]

My 1895 45-70 is like my 6'4" 290 lb best friend. And my stainless 7.5 SBH 44 mag is his little brother. Always there. Always reliable. And when we go places, if there's trouble, we don't lose.

HERE COMES THE BOOM!!

 

[sawdeanz]

A revolver is like your childhood bestfriend but nobody understands why you guys are together. You should've have moved on when you went off to college or got a job, but you always manage to catch up every once and a while. He only has like 5 or 6 stories to tell but they make you laugh every time. Though his jokes may be dated, you know that he is of a higher caliber than any other "bud."

 

[thepumpfaction]

Glock-the young attractive guy with a lot of money and 0 personality.
Ak and variants- Old man of from eastern Europe. Smells of hard work, potato, cabbage, and vodka. Very friendly, but will kill a bear with his hands.
AR-15- that guy that thinks he's better than everyone else. Everything he owns is "tactical"
Sawed off sxs- Your old Sicilian neighbor. You know the one. The guy in the wife beater undershirt, black socks, sandals, and suspenders. Probably tending to his tomato garden.
single action revolver-your awesome grandpa
1911- your even more awesome grandpa
Rem 870- The farmer with 3 kids, a wife, a tractor, and a golden retriever.

 

[BigDaddyNEB]

The Marlin 60 is the old dog on the porch that finds everything the young dogs ( 10/22 ) pass by....