You dudes don't have a monkey problem. If you want to see a monkey problem, head down to South Africa.
We had a house in Amanzimtoti. The monkeys got the best of the mangoes, avocados and lychees out of our garden. They are very destructive, they will take a juicy mango and have one bite of it then throw it to the ground and pick another one. They crap in the pool and they take slate tiles off the roof and throw them down, sometimes onto the car.
Once, my mother made me a toasted cheese sandwich and set it down on a plate in the kitchen to cool. When I came to get that sandwich a few minutes later it was gone. I looked out the window and saw a large monkey sitting next to the swimming pool, cool as a cucumber enjoying that sandwich. I was annoyed!
Another time I was on holiday in Amanzimtoti and heard a ruckus in the kitchen. Came down there just in time to see several grey monkeys escaping out the window into the trees outside. They had been eating the sugar and trying to get at the eggs:
Here's one of them with his loot of white sugar sachets high up in a tree outside:
In Natal they have an organised cull of these monkeys. They do it during school hours so the local kids don't get upset.
Some of those monkeys are large and aggressive. Their canines can be almost an inch long, you don't want to be bitten by them. The ones in Amanzimtoti know about guns. They'll happily ignore you shouting at them or throwing stones, but if you pick up a broom and point it at them they run away fast!
