Let's play, "what would the reporters say about me"

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by ECVMSparky, Jun 22, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Gordon Fink

    Gordon Fink Member

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2003
    Messages:
    2,322
    Location:
    California
    They would probably just misquote me as usual.

    ~G. Fink
     
  2. vnepilot

    vnepilot Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2006
    Messages:
    46
    Location:
    Kennesaw, GA
    Wow im glad I live in Kennesaw, GA. I got pulled over for speeding on the way to the shooting range.

    Officer "do you have any weapons in the car".
    Vnepilot "a few"....
    officer looks in back seat I had 7 pistols 2 ARs and my UZI and my shotgun.
    Officer asks me to call him next time I go shooting so he can play too and gives me a warning for speeding...

    I doubt the average "arsenal" would even make the local blotter
     
  3. DavidVS

    DavidVS Member

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2007
    Messages:
    87
    Location:
    Eugene, Oregon, USA
    He and his wife have widely different tastes in fiction novels. How could they have such a happy and healthy marriage?!
     
  4. ECVMSparky

    ECVMSparky member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2007
    Messages:
    67
    Location:
    Midwest
    Is "offshoots" still there? I know there are like a MILLION training schools there, some more reputable than most.
    Knew a guy from one of the schools, Last name of Little, said he LOVED it there, and i should consider moving there.
     
  5. vnepilot

    vnepilot Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2006
    Messages:
    46
    Location:
    Kennesaw, GA
    I dont know of an "offshoots" off hand. buti thought any city that has a law saying you most own a gun, is a good place to live... and it is. (not a thread hijack please share the original stories)
     
  6. ECVMSparky

    ECVMSparky member

    Joined:
    May 22, 2007
    Messages:
    67
    Location:
    Midwest
    Didn't think it would be, it was about ten years ago, those thing scome and go, i'm gonna seriously consider that, i've heard nothing but good things about that part of GA.
    Hey, i don't think it counts as a hijack if the person who started the thread was the one who got you sidetracked.. :)

    But please, MORE,MORE, This is funny stuff.
     
  7. vnepilot

    vnepilot Member

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2006
    Messages:
    46
    Location:
    Kennesaw, GA
    true true I failed to notice you started it
     
  8. Nameless_Hobo

    Nameless_Hobo Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2007
    Messages:
    191
    Depends on which paper, if it was the local paper it would probably be "frigging cops arrested an innocent person for ownership of a gun."
    If it was from the People's Republic of Mecklenburg County if would probably be along the lines of
    "Young male arrested for ownership of of a "gun cabinet" full of boxes of ammunition and gun. Included were a Saiga assault weapon, a type of AK47. Several shotguns were found, including a single barrel that can be made to conceal easily, and a semi-automatic weapon called 1100, both are capable of spraying bullets. A .44 caliber black-powder revolver was also discovered, in a "cowboy" holster for speedy drawing. Police say the most deadly device was a Russian should-fired field artillery piece called a "Mosin Nagant M38." This weapons fires a 7.62 caliber bullet that is capably of penetrating body armor and shooting down planes.
    Police also recovered ammunition, including steel bird-shot that is capable of blowing off a person’s torso. The person had two 20 round boxes of Wolf FMJ cop-killer bullets, a box of Winchester FMJ bullets and a box of PMC-brand jacketed soft point bullets that expand inside the body to cause extra damage. The Male had over 400 rounds of 7.62x54R full metal jacket and jacketed soft point for the Russian military rifle.
    His computer had been used to research weapons, ranging from 9mm cop-killer pistols to long-range sniper rifles in calibers from .30-30 to .308.
    In addition to the weapons, police recovered a library of books on combat and history. Several books that were found were pro-evil-capitalism, including Adam Smith’s Wealth of Nations. The male also possessed books such as Plutarch’s Lives Darwin’s Origin of Species and works of John Locke. Locke is famous for implying people have “rights.” These books are highly dangerous to Government, as they can cause thinking in the populace. Thinking is evil.
    Police Chief Joseph “Pol Pot” Lenin is stated to say “This young man obviously was troubled. Rather than watching Television he was reading books, which he may have later used to educate peers. We feel that if he may have gone on a shooting spree, but he cannot be blamed, it’s the weapon’s fault for making him do so.”

    Heh, I had to much fun typing that.
     
  9. Sage of Seattle

    Sage of Seattle Member

    Joined:
    May 24, 2006
    Messages:
    773
    Nationwide Manhunt Ends With Arrest

     
  10. ryoushi

    ryoushi Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2004
    Messages:
    293
    Location:
    California
    Upon a complete forensic analysis of his hard drive and ISP records, Police revealed Mr. Ryoushi spent hours and hours on internet gun forums engaging in hypothetical conversations such as "What gun for the mall?" and "RON PAUL vs Predator?".
     
  11. Avenger29

    Avenger29 Member

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2005
    Messages:
    2,728
    Location:
    SC
    A South Carolina college student's house was raided today. He had an arsenal of military assault rifles (an old Mosin 91/30 and an 870), several bananna clips (for the 10/22). A large stockpile of ammunition was discovered. with several hundred bullets for each weapon. The student was later revealed as a racist (cause I'm white and a Southerner, of course) loner, with access to small airplanes that are particuarly deadly tools for terrorists (A Cessna 172). He is believed to be a member of several militias and terrorist groups. He was killed in the raid. Unfortunatly, several brave federal agents (BATFE JBTs) were killed as they tried to surround the compound.
     
  12. WolfMansDad

    WolfMansDad Member

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2006
    Messages:
    235
    Location:
    California
    Around here, the papers usually throw in something about meth possession or stolen credit cards, charges which mysteriously never make it to the arraignment.
     
  13. Tom Servo

    Tom Servo Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2004
    Messages:
    1,324
    Location:
    The hilly SE
    Officers responded to a call that Mr. F was running around his front lawn, complaining loudly that "the Man" had taken away his tinfoil hat.

    Mr. F explained to the responding officers that he used the hat to "keep out the government's mind-control rays."

    "It might have been an easier situation if he'd been wearing pants," said Officer Snertly. "Also, he was covered in a silky sheen of Eezox and Hoppe's No. 9, which as we all know, are chemicals used to clean and maintain firearms. Firearms, like the ones that kill baby harp seals and Bambi's mother. With all that lube, he was certainly hard to grab ahold of."

    Upon searching Mr. F's house, the police found a stash of "assault weapons," including several bolt and lever-action rifles--the same types used by Charles Whitman in the 1966 University of Texas massacre.

    They also found numerous pistols, some of which resemble pistols used by famous movie villains, and all of which should therefore be banned. A stockpile of ammunition arranged to "eerily resemble a Frederick's of Hollywood advertisement" were also found, claim onlookers. A library of violent videogames and outdated college textbooks were present, indicating the possibility that he might have been planning a school shooting.

    The contents of Mr. F's sock-drawer remain classified until scientists can determine whether he has achieved Cold Fusion or simply committed a terrible sin against nature.

    Mr. F is currently unreachable for comment as he disappeared following the appearance of strange lights over Kennesaw mountain last night. His last recorded utterance was, "Bigfoot and Jimi are a'comin' to take me home."
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2007
  14. flynlr

    flynlr Member

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2006
    Messages:
    549
    Location:
    Earth
    quit spying on me will ya!
     
  15. .cheese.

    .cheese. Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2007
    Messages:
    3,808
    Local man's home found with excessively large DVD collection of terrible movies. - Also found was an unbelievably large cache of weapons and ammunition including assault rifles, sniper rifles, and a number of Glock handguns. Police are currently questioning a rubber duckie, found inside the residence. If you have questions or comments about your corn dogs, please call customer service.
     
  16. jeepmor

    jeepmor Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2005
    Messages:
    2,825
    Location:
    Stumptown
    Story at 11, I got to stay up late that night.

    I was on the news when I was 6, boy puts xmas ornament on tree at local Denny's for some charity he can't remember. My 15 minutes has been over for 30 years. May yours be too.

    Plus, my back was to the camera. Elvis lives...:)
     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2007
  17. Phaetos

    Phaetos Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2005
    Messages:
    562
    Location:
    Hattiesburg, Ms.
    Now that's interesting. I almost bought a hardcopy of that at the last gunshow I went to :rolleyes: Along with several other books/pamphlets about improvised munitions and survival help. Wonder what that write up would look like?
     
  18. Seancass

    Seancass Member

    Joined:
    May 1, 2006
    Messages:
    952
    Location:
    purdue, indiana
    Local Student Has a Gun.

    A local college student was found to be in possession of a revolving assault firearm today, along with many high powered assult weapons, shotguns, sniper rifles, grenades, explosive, thousands of rounds of explosive ammunition, hundreds of rounds of non-explosive ammumnition, several hundred John Deere tractors, many books about tractors, and one tactical assault cat. Investigators are trying to search his computer but having trouble getting past the hundreds of gigs of porn and viruses. His family is currently making plans to convert his bedroom into a game room in his absense. Police say he will probly never see the light of day again,... because his eyesight is very bad.
     
  19. dm1333

    dm1333 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2005
    Messages:
    971
    I don't know what the reporter would write but I can hear the crime scene technicians "Man, all this guy ever looks at is TFL and internet porn!"
     
  20. Torque

    Torque member

    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2007
    Messages:
    75
    Location:
    Minnesota
    So Damn true.

    You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

    This is how the miranda warning SHOULD be read.

    If they raided my house I don't know what they would say. I'd rather not find out.
     
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2007
  21. gunsmith

    gunsmith member

    Joined:
    May 8, 2003
    Messages:
    5,906
    Location:
    Reno, Nevada
    an incredibly handsome man

    was interviewed by police today after it was discovered
    that he is also incredibly intelligent.
     
  22. BobCav

    BobCav Member

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2007
    Messages:
    132
    Location:
    Springfield, VA
    "...he is survived by his wife, daughters and grandchildren..."
     
  23. G36-UK

    G36-UK Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2004
    Messages:
    490
    Location:
    Bo'ness, Scotland
    I thought it would be the old copy of Mein Kampf and the SS dagger that people might wonder about.
     
  24. collateral

    collateral Member

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2007
    Messages:
    419
    Location:
    michigan
    Monroe County police raided the home of a right wing militant today uncovering a shocking arsenal of high-powered military weapons. The house contained several SKS assault rifles which have been used against American soldiers in conflicts such as Vietnam and the current war in Iraq, a long range sniper rifle (ruger 10/22 with scope) with a 90 round drum, and a high capacity assault shotgun (870 with 2 round mag extension). The militant was also said to have possessed several hundred rounds for each of the weapons as well as 40 (stripper) clips for the assault rifles. The suspect's harddrive contained photographic evidence of himself and other insurgents taking part in guerrilla warfare training (pictures from the range).
     
  25. coyote_jr

    coyote_jr member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2006
    Messages:
    456
    Location:
    Providence, RI
    Pissing. Oh man this thread is hilarious.
     
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2007
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice