Acting on an anonymous tip about the possibility of stolen autos being dismantled in outbuildings on the property in Union County, Ohio, federal agents attempted to raid the compound of a noted right-wing separatist using a midnight no-knock warrant. The owner of the property, Evan Price, was known to carry weapons on his person at all times, necessitating the no-knock warrant. Officers initially stormed the home and outbuildings, finding no-one home, but were forced to put down a ferocious dog chained in the yard. While no stolen autos or parts were found on the property, police did locate and seize a cache of military-style weapons, knives, swords and many tens of thousands of rounds of ammunition stored in a bunker below the house in GI-style ammunition cans and wooden packing crates. Agents also discovered boxes of machine gun parts stored in various locations on the property and various spiritous liquors. Also in the bunker were a large freezer filled with various types of meats which could possibly have come from endangered species. Agents seized the meat for further DNA testing. Upon searching the large barn-like outbuildings, agents withdrew and called the bomb squad when they discovered large, cylinderically shaped metal objects that could have been bombs stored along one wall. The items were removed by the Bomb Squad robot and detonated in a nearby quarry. Police later determined that these items were in fact oxygen, acetylene, propane, carbon dioxide, and argon tanks and drums of kerosene, racing gasoline, Diesel fuel and mineral spirits. Also found and seized were several vehicles modified to exceed normal power-to-weight ratios or else specially equipped similar to military vehicles to cross rugged terrain or ford deep water. Federal agents also discovered and seized a large tracked vehicle equipped with a digging blade which could possibly have been used to create fortified firing positions or bury more munitions. Federal agents called in the US Army Corps of Engineers to sweep the property with ground-penetrating radar and metal detectors to locate any more caches of munitions which might be concealed on the property.
"It boggles the mind that his neighbors probably didn't even know what was being kept near their houses, their children," Special Agent Schmuckatelli related to this reporter. "The simple fact that this person felt the need to own all of this, these things, when there is no real clear need to have any of it, I can't understand. People don't need all-terrain vehicles in modern America any more than they need stockpiles of fuel and arsenals of weapons and ammunition."
When contacted for comment, Mr. Price refuted the government agents' statements. "You [expletives deleted] killed my dog! Those so-called 'machine gun parts' are actually BATFE de-milled FN/FAL rifle components. And who is going to pay for blowing up most of my machine shop and digging up my yard and garden? Have these guys never seen a Case 350D bucket loader before? A mud-bogging Jeep? Since when does two garages, a shed, and a house make a 'compound'? When did a root cellar become a 'bunker'? You guys got to be kidding me!"
This reporter tried to interview other members of the assault team but they were testing the capabilities of the seized property by riding around on the seized off-road vehicles and test-firing the seized weapons and consuming the seized spiritous liqours and meat products. This reporter was then told in no uncertain terms to leave the premises as the investigation would be taken to new levels. Shortly thereafter a car full of escort-service workers pulled into the driveway and was met by the federal agents. One agent stammered out that they had called the young women in to "Gain insight... into.. umm, womanly things, ya know, like women's intuition... because he may have hidden stuff somewhere only a woman could figure it out. Like, on the mattresses or couches. Or in the hot tub. You know. I mean, it's a hard business we have here, saving the citizens from people like Mr. Price."
--Richard Stroker, AP News.
