Looking for my first handgun

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Based on what you have said, I would say a revolver of some type is the way to go. Now, you can shoot something like the SP-101, a nice heavy, soft-shooting and accurate revilver with some reduced recoil .38spl and probably be ok. If you still think that is too much recoil, then you can use your .22lr bearcat. While few would reccomend such a small caliber for self-defense, if you are practiced with it, and you can shoot it, then it may be the best choice for YOU in the end. Whatever you end up with, become proficient with it.
 
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