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Maintaining your privacy WRT your status as a permit holder

Discussion in 'General Gun Discussions' started by Trunk Monkey, Dec 25, 2011.

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  1. Trunk Monkey

    Trunk Monkey Member

    Dec 25, 2011
    When I first got my handgun permit I made the mistake of telling a friend of mine that I had it. This friend is a nice guy and all but I found out the hard way that he has some serious maturity issues and to make a long story short he ran off at the mouth and has told several people, including people I don’t even know, as well as people I specifically did not want to know, that I have a permit and that I am usually armed.

    Now, I know that some folks are very open about their status as permit holders but I’m not and if I were I still feel that this information is mine to disclose at my discretion. I guess this is more a rant than anything else because the water is over the dam and I can’t call it back.

    Are there any other forum members here that try to keep their status as permit holders as private as possible?
  2. The Sarge

    The Sarge Member

    Dec 24, 2009
    South Texas/Grand Cayman
    My wife knows. My kids know. I do not talk about it. Nothing to talk about really.
    If you "told your friend" you may as well have taken an ad out in the local paper.
  3. bergmen

    bergmen Member.

    Feb 14, 2011
    Ukiah, California
    I think it is appropriate to be discrete. I am careful who I inform as to my holding a license and have kept it to close family and trusted friends that I have known for a long time. There are certain individuals that I brag to since they have no chance of ever getting a permit because of the county they live in. I always carry my biggest, baddest when I visit those guys (gotta rub it in a bit).

  4. Seanpcola

    Seanpcola Member

    Jun 12, 2011
    Pensacola, FL
    I try really hard to keep it low key. Wife mentioned it to some family members that I didn't want to know. Not mad at her though, she was proud that I did it and just doesn't know the in's and out's and all the angles.
  5. Ringolevio

    Ringolevio Member

    Sep 17, 2011
    Where the Kaw meets the Mighty Mo
    "Always carry, never tell"

    I think we've discussed this before (or maybe it was on that other firearms forum), from the angle of "when is it appropriate to tell someone you're dating that you are a permit-holder?"

    Personally, I treat it as a "need to know" issue. I try to be guided by the maxims "Loose lips sink ships" and "Don't put your business in the street".

    I have lifelong friends who are like family to me (they have keys to my house) but I have never told them that I carry.

    Of course, my gunsmith and the folks at several LGSs I frequent are aware. But outside of such "members of the firearm community", I strive to keep it sub rosa, even with acquaintances who admit in casual conversation that they carry.

    I guess it's ironic that I have acquaintances who know, but close friends who do not. I do have a couple of close friends who know, but they are not local.

    I once revealed to a woman I was getting pretty serious with, and she told her teenage son. I guess it wasn't fair to expect her to keep secrets from her own son, but I nevertheless felt that my privacy had been compromised, because I frankly didn't trust the young man to not tell his friends. I wish I hadn't told her, but I do like to practice "full disclosure" in intimate romantic relationships. I guess it's a predicament.
  6. MacAttack

    MacAttack Member

    Sep 1, 2008
    I took the CCW class with a good friend. Little did I know and against the advise of the instructors he blabbed to everyone at work. Including my boss who I never really hit it off well with. Not only that but an individual who was in trouble with the law and, one I pissed off for not siding with him, made for a touchy situation. He threaten to claim that I had been threatening him.....In short one should keep the carry status to ones self.
  7. Fred_G

    Fred_G Member

    Dec 25, 2010
    It is concealed carry for a reason. My immediate family knows, and a few friends. Said friends are trying to find the gun an holster combo they can carry.

    I see no advantage in knowing who carries and who does not.
    From the criminal's pov. From my pov, big advantage.
  8. mljdeckard

    mljdeckard Member

    Jun 5, 2006
    In a part of Utah that resembles Tattooine.
    I've been carrying for sixteen years now, and I've made a few realizations about the process. I don't worry too much about who knows anymore.

    A couple of weeks ago, I was in a suburban Super-Wally with my wife, and there was a big tough-looking guy with a stainless 8-inch k-frame on his hip looking through the $5 DVDs. When we left the store, I asked her about it, and she hadn't even noticed. People see what they want to, and they don't bother themselves too much with other people's details. (Except for those of us who have trained ourselves to pay attention to such things.)

    And yeah, there are plenty of people out there who have no ability to practice discretion. They are on their own to learn, and they might get into some trouble in the process. Best to steer clear of them. Don't do it again.
  9. chhodge69

    chhodge69 Member

    Jun 19, 2011
    CLT, NC
    I'm not terribly guarded about it, I just go about my life as normal. It usually doesn't ever come up and I don't talk a lot, so by default I'm discreet. Anyone who goes to the range with me will find out I carry.
  10. Steve Raacke

    Steve Raacke Member

    Aug 13, 2008
    Baton Rouge, La
    While I have a CHP for the rare time I need to cover up, I live in state that allows permitless open carry. The CHP does fulfill the Feds requirements to carry within 1000' of a school so it's a good thing to have. I carry openly everywhere legal to do so and am a board member in a state wide gun rights group. I post photos of myself at USPSA matches with the gun/holster I wear to my Facebook page. I often have copies of Army Times and Police Magazine for light reading in the break room at work. I'm pretty sure that, WRT to anyone knowing I'm armed on a regular basis, either openly or concealed, it's a nonissue.
  11. The Lone Haranguer

    The Lone Haranguer Member

    Jul 30, 2006
    Johnson City, TN
  12. 230RN
    • Contributing Member

    230RN Marines raising the left-leaning Pisa tower.

    May 27, 2006
    I only tell folks if I'm carrying three or more guns.
  13. Standing Wolf

    Standing Wolf Member in memoriam

    Dec 24, 2002
    Idahohoho, the jolliest state
    Obviously, it is—and I predict you'll be more cautious in your choice of friends from now on.

    If I had a permit in California, say, I'd probably be discreet, since there are lots of criminals and anti-Second Amendment bigots there; living as I do in the non-Denver part of Colorado, I not only don't care who knows I keep and bear arms, but carry openly a third or half the time.

    People who don't respect your confidences don't respect anything else about you; fortunately, there's no shortage of worthy people in the world.
  14. Nushif

    Nushif Member

    Mar 21, 2010
    Corvallis, OR
    As long as the fact that you're armed isn't the most prevalent part of your personality, it usually isn't much of an issue, I found.
    I'm not terribly secretive about the fact that I love shooting, as a matter of fact, our car has survived the gauntlet of american criminality now for several years with (gasp!) two Beretta stickers on it.
    But what is important is that your personal skills are up to par to not intimidate people with the fact that you're armed. Both me and the wife are friendly, fun-loving, non judgmental and open about just about ... every avenue of our lives and because of that people rarely perceive us as a threat, or even a worthwhile target, it seems.
    As a matter of fact, people very much against any kind of firearms ownership tend to ask me after gun raffles whether I won it, because they feel is *someone* has to have guns, it should be people like me, as they usually put it.
    In my experience around here, the people who are looked at twice for being armed are usually very reserved, quiet, socially awkward, rude or very "conservative"/judgmental or even plain rude.
    I know we as a whole may *think* that having to buzz your neighbor in through a barred gate and past two guard dogs, with a a cracked door (chain still attached, videomonitor on all the way) is a normal thing to do, when they asked if they could borrow a cup of sugar.
    But around these parts and pretty much anywhere I've ever gone, that speaks of paranoia, not safety consciousness. I guess I'm too community minded here, but limiting your social availability is hardly an asset in keeping yourself safe within a community.
    In ensuring one's safety subtlety can be just as much of an asset as overt protection. And that is something we don't seem to discuss much. If your house looks like a fortress,... chances are you're hiding something. If you're dodgy about your personal life .... you're hiding something .... at least that's the thinking among pretty much all the people I tend to be around.
    And this has included anything from rancher sons, over active duty military, "Solar Ambassadors," up to newly minted Officers.

    Think about it, when was the last time we saw a thread titled "How do I still appear as part of the community, despite doing my best to keep them out?" Never underestimate popular opinion, or rather your community as a resource, rather than a liability.
  15. medalguy

    medalguy Member

    Mar 20, 2009
    New Mexico
    I don't openly discuss my status with many folks, but I have found that most of my good friends are also permit holders so it's really no big deal with them. However I am somewhat careful who I mention this to, as it's simply none of their business unless I choose to mention it.
  16. bhk

    bhk Member

    Jun 17, 2006
    Wooded acreage in rural midwest
    I don't bring it up unless asked, but am not shy about being honest about carrying. It may have something to do where one lives and what their occupations are.

    Most of my hunting/shooting buddies know I carry. All my relatives know I have permit, but probably don't know that I carry almost 100% of the time. My wife has a permit, but usually just car carries. She also carries when road biking. She is not shy at all about either fact. Recently her employer (30 or so employees) adopted new policy handbook that included a rule against firearms on company property. She and another female employee protested and gain permision to keep their firearms in their cars during the day.
  17. GMcBoozer

    GMcBoozer Member

    Jul 28, 2011
    Northern MN
    Me and a few friends were bar hopping last night and one of them practically yelled that I had my PTC to a complete stranger. A quick slap on the back of the head made it clear he shouldn't have done that. I wasn't carrying at the time because I was drinking, but it's still something I don't want everyone to know about, ESPECIALLY at a bar.
  18. snorky18

    snorky18 Member

    Sep 6, 2008
    A good portion of my peers af work know as some of us shoot together and roughly. Half of them carry. Few family know, especially the liberal sister in MA. I'm certainly not ashamed but I'm cautious of who I tell.
  19. CoRoMo

    CoRoMo Member

    Sep 21, 2007
    Californicated Colorado

    A while back, I was sitting with a group of men around a table at church. At one point in the conversation, we start talking about guns and one old fellow metions that he got a carry permit, way back when Colorado first began issuing them. He also told everyone what he carried and then proceeded to give some very inaccuracte information about the laws around carrying. One by one, other men began to chime in that they also had obtained a permit and that they carried as well. A few personal 'carry stories' were exchanged and the discussion went further and deeper into Colorado and Federal gun laws.

    I just sat there silently and listened to them spill it all out. I know that these men were in somewhat of a "safe setting" and were amongst friends, true friends.

    But I'm still not going to say something that needs not be said; there's no reason to give this information out.
  20. NavyLCDR

    NavyLCDR member

    Dec 14, 2005
    Stanwood, WA
    I don't understand what the big deal is on either side of the issue: tell everyone or keep it a deep dark secret. My CPL is simply a piece of paper in my wallet, nothing more, nothing less. It lets me legally carry a gun loaded in my car, and lets me conceal my gun on my person for those few times when I choose to, nothing more, nothing less.

    The gun I wear in a holster on my belt is no different than the cell phone in my pocket on the other side, it's only a tool that I carry to be used for a specific purpose, nothing more, nothing less. I don't understand what all the hooplah is about.
  21. Mousegun

    Mousegun Member

    Dec 9, 2005
    Having a driver's license is more dangerous than having a carry permit IMHO. There is more of a chance you will do damage with a driver's license than your gun.

    I tell people that I feel are responsible enough to handle it and I now have about 3 people who now carry to my name as a result of careful explanation and level headed conversation about it, much of which has been started by them after a short period of digesting my carry status.
  22. jimmyraythomason

    jimmyraythomason Member

    Dec 19, 2006
    This. Around here,a CCW permit is almost as common as a driver's license.
  23. Paris

    Paris Member

    Sep 5, 2011
    People I care about know about it. The people I know would blab, don't.
  24. Hardtarget

    Hardtarget Member

    Dec 21, 2002
    Nashville, Tn.
    At work, several carry. After a short time a new co-worker will be let into "the loop" about this. We have discussed this and feel it better than it being an accidental discovery. A bit more control of what is ,(and is not), said. Looking back, there are reasons I wish it had never been let out...concealed in all ways.

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