Met 1911 Tuner

[1911Tuner]

Tuner's Place

Oscar, mah fren...Jes' go to Memphis and pick up I-40 Eastbound. When ya get to Winston-Salem, hang a northbound on U.S.52 and when ya get to Pilot Mountain, pull off'n the side of the road and fire three shots into the air. I'll come getcha in the pickup truck, less'n it's rained hard and then we'll jes' hafta hike back up the hill.

 

[Oscar Orum]

Mercy trip

Tuner,
Will get to making the chili and have some of the orginal Texicans gittin' the belly wash made. Will give you advance notice and ETA to be sure you are clear. You are back in the short list for cannonization maybe Spring or Summer.

 

[1911Tuner]

Cannonization

Oscar...Ah sho' nuff hope ya like dogs. Let me know when ya get ready to make the trip and I'll give ya specific directions straight to the front door.
That neighborhood in Austin, Tejas you hail from...Has it a name?

 

[Oscar Orum]

Friends

As Tom T Hall wrote, Ole dawgs, children, and watermelon wine are the only things you can depend on when your down.
I live in the Northwest part of Austin called Northwest Hills. A stone's throw from the intersection of Steck and MoPac (Loop 1). Have any connections in the area? I have an old friend in Durham who I havent seen in years and want to go visit. We spent a lot of time together 30 years ago in Houston.

 

[R.H. Lee]

Would you guys please speak in English?

 

[1911Tuner]

Contacts

Oscar asked:

Have any connections in the area?
*************************

I got a couple of Scottish cousins that'll treat ya rite. Durham ain't far...
Just down the road a piece. You might be able to find suitable lodgings if ya
talk to'em in a meaningful way.

Riley...We'uns is speakin' Reb-Bonics. I'll give ya a crash course if'n ya ever git out this way.

Lesson 1: Dog is pronounced "dawg"...not "dahg".

 

[BluesBear]

It don't matter what style you prepare.

Now you can Barbeque Pork, You can BBQ Beef, You can even Bar-B-Q Mutton and Goat.

But you CANNOT Barbeque Chicken. Or any other bird (except Ostrich).

Why, you ask? (Yes you did I heard you.)

Because the flavors will not permiate the meat.

You can COAT chicken with BBQ sauce, you can smoke it for hours, and in some cases it will even taste good, but it still ain't barbeque.

 

[Jammer Six]

I don't believe either one of them speak English.

Therefore, no, they can't speak English.

 

[Fed168]

Mind that, proper BBQ sauce is vinegar based, on pork, not that stuff basted in tomato base. And certainly not cooked with gas.

 

[np15cgg]

Fed, Fed, Fed

Mind that, proper BBQ sauce is vinegar based, on pork, not that stuff basted in tomato base. And certainly not cooked with gas.

It's poor misguided souls like Fed168 that makes me glad Al Gore invented the internet. No, Fed, that pig that you get at Bullock's or anywhere else in the Bull City ain't BBQ. It's real good, but it ain't BBQ. I understand your confusion. Heck, before I moved to NC, I thought I understood the game of basketball.

For my NC brothers/sisters - and anyone else who'd care to learn - I would gladly provide a tutorial on what BBQ is and ain't at the 'Que Shack.

A bottle of real bygod Mezcal wouldn't hurt none either...

Tuner, again, God bless Al Gore. Mezcal is fine, but it is not meant to accompany chili. Well yes, in Hollywood it does, but remember their 1911s just fire blanks. It is beer, most likely Shiner or another premier brew, that brings out all of the Lord's best intentions in chili. Mezcal should go before or after.

A warning, Tune. I'm sure Oscar is a fine individual and means well. But unless you've played ball or coached at UT, cannonization in Texas just ain't possible. Unless artillery is involved.

 

[1911Tuner]

Mexicali Mezcal

np15cgg said:

Tuner, again, God bless Al Gore. Mezcal is fine, but it is not meant to accompany chili.
******************

Mah fren...my experiences with Tex-Mex chili and Mezcal have proven two things to me...

One is that when the chili hits ya, you don't give a rip what you use to wash it off your palate.

Two is that, after about 5 hits of real Mezcal, all thoughts of "Which wine with which meat" go out the window. It numbs the pain and I can eat mo'
chili. Then I soon need more Mezcal...and I can eat mo' chili...and so on.
Pretty soon, I can not only execute a fine hat-dance...I don't care who will remember it the next day. Plus, the chili has the added advantage of gettin' rid of any life that may be left in that little worm that brought on the feelings of invincibility.

Tequila! The milk of amnesia! Ariba!!!!

 

[Fed168]

No, you can't really get good stuff unless you hit Wilburs, Stephensons, Speedys, Allen and Sons. Bullocks is blah!

 

[np15cgg]

Fed said with some pretty impressive authority:

No, you can't really get good stuff unless you hit Wilburs, Stephensons, Speedys, Allen and Sons.

OK! I still don't think it's BBQ, but in the spirit of honest inquiry and an open mind, I promise to go and eat a bunch at all of these establishments. It's dangerous duty but I'll take the mission.

As for that reprobate, Tuner. Sure, you can wash down chili - aka the Gift - with mezcal (another gift, but recalling several mornings/afternoons after, I'm not so sure of the Giver ) but why? Chili is more than heat and meat. Man, there's taste there! I mean you can mix good scotch with Coke and it'll work, but why would you do it? Oh the tragedy of it all ...

 

[BluesBear]

Heinz vs Massengill

I think the real debate of tomato based vs vinegar based boils down to the fact that REAL Barbeque sauce doesn't start out as CATSUP or KETCHUP or however you happen to spell that condiment in your area.

Most store bought glop that impersonate Barbeque sauce started out as reject catsup/ketchup.

Now a REAL Barbeque sauce CAN be tomato based and vinegar is an important component, in the proper porportion.

But ketchup based sauces are just too sweet and sissyfied.

And to say they taste just like real BBQ sauce would be like saying Franco-American Spaghetti-O's taste just like REAL Spaghetti.



And while Mexcal IS quite good with Barbegue if you're eating REAL Barbeque Bonded Bourbon is really the best way to go.






(sadly I just found out yesterday that Old Fitzgerald Bonded Bourbon isn't sold in Washington State. Now I have nothing to toast the memory of my dear late Father on his birthday. [Jan 25] If anyone out there happens to have some please drink a short OF & 7up on Tuesday to the memory of a great man for me.)

 

[Oscar Orum]

English?

Ya'll makin' fun of me? I'm only fluent in two languages and Southern is one of them. I nev'r been to NC but been told they only barbeque pork, there. That is fine but in Texas we barbeque most anything. Don't tell the Methodist and Baptist churches that you can't barbeque chicken, they been selling it as fund raisers for years. Build a lot of churches with it, too.
BluesBear- I'm on your side as to barbeques sauce. Ain't got no catsup in it, at all. But it does have some vinegar and a multitude of other things. It just depends on what the maker wants to put it it.
You can get cannonized in Texas without being born he'e. Crockett and Fannin were. Cuzin Darrell, 'xcuse me, Coach Royal is next on my list and he's from North of the Red River. Tuner has done nothing but make us proud of his work and helpin' folks. If he wants his drink from the Spoetzl Brewery or from the cactus plant it's his choice. I hope to carry him what he wants.

 

[sm]

Riley...

They wuz speaking English. We just prefer the name "Southern".

I doubt you have any Moonshine in CA...Try a straight Bourbon Whiskey ( non of that blended crap) . Put on some stuff recorded in Luckenbach , TX ( Willie, Waylon, and the Boys) , Then find a Album of Jerry Jeff Walker, David Allan Coe.

Sure wish Art's Grammaw was not around...I'd share some "language" lessons...

Next thing you'll be posting about Momma, getting drunk, prison... and ...err..."tinkling in the wind"....I got past Grammaw with that - right?

 

[Bill Z]

Here's the answer to real BBQ, ya'll ken quit fussin' now, you jus' have to come to Georgia for the real thang.

http://www.sconyersbar-b-que.com/history.htm

 

[saltydog452]

Food in Augusta..

About the only places in Augusta that I remember was 'Snappy's Hamburgers" next to Richmond Academy, the 'Waffle and the 'Brass Rail' downtown. And the 'Varsity Drive-In'.

salty.

 

[19112XS]

Oh NO! Chili and Mezcal together? Somebody needs to start filing the environmental impact statement. I’ve heard the quote for years that computers let mankind make more mistakes faster than anything else except handguns and tequila. Looks like all three are coming together in King. The place will never be the same.

No offense at all to Gus, but Mrs. Tuner will be almost impossible to surpass. Guess that’s why her and Tuner are together.

Cactus and corn squeezins are OK, but for a good time call Lagavulin or Dalwhinnie (legal age of course.) As is stated in another thread, about another subject, the "Glock is (Cactus and corn squeezins are) a cheap hooker. 1911 (Lagavulin or Dalwhinnie ) is a professional escort. both will get the job done, but one just makes the process so much more enjoyable. "(and treats you better the next day )– Borrowed from a thread on THR that quotes something posted on Glock Talk by p01ic3m4n 12-31-2004.

Tuner, howzit goin’?

 

[Fed168]

Chili + mezcal = weapon of mass destruction and a haz mat cleanup crew.

 

[bratch]

Corn...Fluids... I experienced that once lasted two days.

Time to run across the street to the little trailer house with a giant ceramic pig out front.

 

[Phyphor]

...

You're not the demographic, Tuner. Starbucks clientele are more Glock-packin' ..

HEY!
I'll have you know, even though I *DO* own a Glock 19 (along with a genuine Colt 1911A1, ) I sure as H*LL never set FOOT in any Starbucks, and I sure ain't gonna do it. Please don't tar all us Glock packers with such a wide brush...ya makin' me feel like one of them tree-huggin' beret wearin' poetry writin' coffee shop fools.

 

[carpettbaggerr]

Pretty soon, I can not only execute a fine hat-dance...I don't care who will remember it the next day.

Because you certainly won't remember!

Mezcal, the Mezkin Water of Lethe.
Ai Chihuahua!