My wife hates guns

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I like you springmom.


Don't worry, my admiration is genuine but innocuous. I've been married to one woman for 25 years, ...and my wife is a better shot (with a handgun) than I am.

Les
LOL. After almost 28 years, we also have learned a thing or three about staying married and keeping a good relationship. Guns are a great hobby, a necessary tool for self defense and hunting, and most importantly a constitutional right. But it's not an either/or, marriage or guns. Sounds like the OP has a pretty good idea of how to proceed, actually.

Jan
 
I am amazed when someone coins the phrase "anti-gun" after watching the history hannel a few years, some of the early battles had like 65,000 men killed in eight hours with swords, spears and arrows. Seems like guns were hardly needed at the time. You think men change, our survival instincts are the same as thousands of years ago; this administration will learn that we will not be backed against the wall without repercussions. 30
 
My ex hated them, my new wife bought me a black hawk for my birthday,and she owns a 642 smith, well she thinks its her's . Give her time maybe she'll come around.
 
Be completely open and honest with anyone you get with. My fiancee was pretty clueless about guns but was not anti. However, I took her to the range with me enough that she caught on.

My younger brother on the other hand, he has to deal with a fiancee who is actually a part of the Brady bunch. She thinks that guns jump up and shoot people.
 
Well part of me agrees with Babb, you should have know that when you married her, but they say love is blind. And little things are offten overlooked when you fall in love and get married(even though guns are no small thing)

But, I grew up in a house were my mother does not like guns and my dad grew up with them. My mother never like the fact that I had a BB gun or even my first 22 but my dad put his foot down and said no son of mine will grow up without knowing how to use a gun, so he tought me and my brother. My mom still does not like guns but she has learned to live with them. My dad always said guns are for ever and once you buy one there is no reason to sell it. I think he would loose the house and like on the street befor he would sell his guns and I think I would to. But my dad is very, very passinet about his guns and he bestowedthat in use boys, so.

And I dont want to come off wrong but people who do not like guns are very "ignerent" I guess is the word. They are affraid of things they dont understand, so talk to her teacher thing, and sneak little things to conversation. Like "wow I love that white dress, remindes me of the pearl handles on my revolver":D or whatever.


I have always said this"my guns were her befor you and they will be hear after you" every girl I have ever dated knows I have guns and that I am strongly passion for them so if they dont like it they can find the door. In this case you should be able to work it out fine.
 
.22 lr rifle, brick of ammo, sand bags, 50 ft. slow fire pistol targets at 25 yards,and last but not least, family. or at least good friends that she trusts. Make a compition out of it. keep it light, three shot groups,this way she can see others shooting and notice the world is not comming to an end. And just like a kid, she probably will pick up more instruction from watching and listening the others than "the old man". also, NO MAGNUMS! You can bust'em out after she comes around. Luckily, My gal is a fine shot w/ most calibers!
 
If she was able to read any of the accounts of women defending themselves or their children with a firearm she might begin to change her mind. Problem is getting her to read something she is anti about from the get go.
 
It an irrational/emotional fear probably from her parents. Did you ever consider going to councelling together where a third party can try to get her reason for hating guns? You'll never do it but a councellor might. Maybe he/she can get to the root cause and display that her fear is irrational.
 
Did any of you who keep saying "you should have known" even pay attention to the fact that the OP increased his interest in guns AFTER they married? You know, he....oh good heavens....he.....

CHANGED.

So can she. And if he ignores some of you, maybe she will.

Jan
 
the OP increased his interest in guns AFTER they married?

He didn't say that in the OP, but now it has come up, let's see... get married, get a new hobby. Hmm.

If he wants to keep her and his guns I think the only thing he can do is to keep them separate. He doesn't have to hide them, but he doesn't have to push them in front of her. He goes shooting, she does something else. Live and let live.
 
Mastercard "Priceless" moment...

Before I launch into the MasterCard "Priceless" moment that occurred today some background is in order.

I had to give some "Big City"attorney a ride after the company I was with acquired a competitor down in Key West. Little did I know that she would end up my wife. When she asked if I'd be attending the "Western" themed acquisition party I said sure. Not one to miss an opportunity to walk around (on private property) open carrying I strapped on my tooled leather "Cowboy" rig and dropped in my unloaded 44-40 Colt SAA. So right off on our first "date" she saw what she was getting into, especially when asked "Is that real?" when it was discovered that the caterer had forgotten to bring mallets or nut crackers for the Stone Crab appetizer and I drew my Colt (the faint of heart may wish to skip this part) and for some unknown reason (testosterone probably) spun it, caught it by the barrel and used it to crack her stone crab claws :banghead:.

I mentioned during the small talk that I was excited about attending Mas Ayoob's LFI-II the following week and explained what that was all about. and how I had completed the NRA Security Firearms Instructor class the previous month. She mentioned that she had fired an Uzi when she was in Israel as a teenager but was basically a "New York City Liberal"...

I guess we both thought "I'll get them to change" somewhere in the back of our minds while in a state of emotional and hormonal overload.

We later married and it was on our first anniversary that I realized something was amiss. I was working for one of the major firearms distributors by then and I had bought her (in addition to the prerequisite jewelry, I'm not that dumb) a gold in layered & engraved Beretta 950 mouse gun. When she opened the box she recoiled like it had a live rattlesnake in it and I received the first "The Looks" of our marriage. At the time I had only brought up my 6" Colt Python to Miami with the others stored at my parents house. It seemed that she could not comprehend why anyone would ever need more than one gun in a household so I must be crazy to think she would want a 2nd in the apartment.

When married to a lawyer the marriage vow "Until Death Do You Part" takes on a whole new meaning (and somehow the "Obey" part got left out...)

Fast forward 24 years of marriage. I am allowed multiple firearms under the condition that they are stored in the gun safe located in my garage workshop. We still have a different definition as to the meaning of a gun being carelessly left about. Especially since I had thoroughly "Gunproofed" our children at around 5 years of age, they're now 17 and 18. It came up at a counseling session that the 1911 I have on top of the wall unit next to the front door, the 624 Velcroed to the back of the box spring in our bedroom and the shotgun in my meagerly allotted portion of "our" closet were left carelessly lying around the house. It was decided that we would ask the Rabbi what his views on guns in the house and CCW were.

We attend Chabad, a Hasidic sect (very orthodox, what I call the "Black Hats" who wear long black coat and black fedoras and very observant of the "rules" of Judaism). There are levels of observance, I wear regular clothes and some attend services very casually dressed. A few weeks I thought I saw one of the Black Hats "printing" and casually "bumped" into him at the end of services and with felt confirmation I said "Carrying?" and he winked and said "I'm a 1911 kinda guy and have a double mag carrier on the other side" and found out that several others also carried at services.

So today after services we "Asked the Rabbi" about firearms in the household. My wife grinned when he replied that he did not have a gun in his house but then he elaborated that it was only because they had so many small children that held him back. This was the start of about a half hour discussion which ended with me promising that I would bring the Rabbi to the range the next time we brought the NFA's for a day of rock & roll, He was grinning ear to ear while my wife had the "Other" look on her face and the only thing she would say on the matter was "You guy's are all alike..."

Priceless :neener:

Sorry about running at the mouth here but I just had to share that. Let's see if she brings it up at our next session, I'm not, discretion is the better part of valor :evil:
 
For a home invasion a revolver would most likely be the best choice for defensive counter measures with someone who is not used to handguns, especially in a stressful situation.

My wife used to hate firearms also, she was at the opposing mind set that she did not want to even see a bullet. But after a few years I can at least get her now to go to the shooting range. Having her watch episodes of the first 48 hours may of changed my wifes way of thinking.
 
Nobody mentioned having kids yet. My wife, who gave up her career to be home with our 3 y/o before he was born, has turned into a total control freak about EVERYTHING!

She was bitching that I was around the house too much on my few days off, so I started shooting skeet at a local public range, using rental guns.

Like all of us, I used to own numerous types, but due to career, moving, having to live in commie areas like NYC, and the flat guns prices back in the '90s making trading them not so much fun as the 70's-80's (wish I'd heald on to them until just before this Obamrecession), I'd sold them off by the time she showed up.

I had long ago told her all about my collection and fun times a-shootin' and reloadin', so I was pleasntly surprised when she encouraged me to get back into it recently.

She's a texas gal and her dad had a gun or two, but he was irresponsible, leaving loaded revolvers in the bottom dresser drawer, where her younger brother almost blew his own head off as a small child. Later an illegal-alien maid they had tipped off her buddies, and the guns were stolen.

So now my wife says shoot all you want, buy what you want, but you're not storing any guns in our house!

I'm hoping when my son gets old enough, he'll be interested and then she'll be too.
 
I think you might benefit if you can show her that self defense (in all forms including situational awareness) is something your whole family needs to be practicing. More specifically, I think too many women think handguns are only for police and young thugs ... and not something honest people, especially women, could manage. So you may need to start working on those issues slowly and methodically ... giving her time between the steps.

My wife went from being ambivalent about handguns to a licensed CCW holder who now carries all the time, every time.

Several things helped me take her in that direction. In AZ, home invasions and assaults are becoming more common every day, often more than one a week in the city where I live. And they are not by some unarmed cat burglar that slips in an open window while you are away. These invasions are small groups (of young thugs) that kick in doors whether anyone is home or not. If that isn't the case where you live, just give it time. Our country is changing and changing rapidly.

Reading the newspaper accounts put my wife on edge even though we realize the odds were against any single home being invaded. Then we sat down together and watched the Crimson Trace CD (available free) together and she saw that self defense is not something impossibly scary but something very much worth considering ... and practicing.

Then we made a trip to the indoor range where she could see all sorts of shooters from young girls to white haired seniors firing their handguns. This convinced her that handguns were not just for young thugs, but for anyone who has made up their mind they don't want to be prey for those young thugs.

In AZ it was informative to give her the numbers of CCW holders ... broken down by age groups (available from DPS website). She began to realize that firearms and self-defense were "in" and that she was a little behind the curve on learning to look out for herself should the need arise.

She quickly became a very good shot and passed her CCW course with ease. I know I worry less about her when I am not with her. And now that she understands all this, she worries less about me too.

And we have a hobby we can enjoy together ... recreational shooting ... to keep our skills up. And women love things they can do with their husbands.
 
Rethinking this thread... For those of you under 40-50 years old: The PC groupthink politics that came into vogue in the 1990's is probably something to be really aware of in choosing a spouse. I was born in Chicago, and still appreciate big-city amenities at times, for short visits. Having moved to NC in the 1960's, Dad saw firearms acceptance as one of the many attractions that convinced him to move the family.

I married a southern girl a long time ago, and her mom's basically a Tammy Wynette, her dad is a sports-freak, but not a hunter, and she had no predisposition for or against firearms. She started guns with me because I enjoyed them, and then became a real momma-bear when we had kids. Like I've said before, she's very proficient now. It's just that she started with no prejudices.

It's a different world out there politically now. A lot of young folks do start out steeped in brainwashing about guns. Choose your spouse and other relationships with that in mind.

Les
 
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Lone_Sheep_Dog,

No offense meant, but could it be that your wife is afraid of YOU, or of you with guns?
 
My problem is worse. I changed a propane tank and the little bit that got loose when I took off the regulater caused me to have the cops and the firedepartment come visit. I haven't touched a gun around here in 4 years. I just keep them locked up and vist sites like this one and a couple others I belong to. She gets upset that i watch cops shows and the Unit as I am getting ideas about guns. Owell I get to use a chainsaw still.
 
Top 10 reasons a gun is favored over a woman
#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

# 9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

# 8. If you admire a friend's gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

# 7. Your primary gun doesn't mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

# 6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

# 5. A gun doesn't take up a lot of closet space.

# 4. Guns function normally every day of the month.

# 3. A gun doesn't ask , 'Do these new grips make me look fat?'

# 2. A gun doesn't mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman....

# 1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN
:D that's good stuff right there

Develop a phobia of shoes and handbags.

See how she reacts when the tables are turned. =)
2nd that
 
My wife was not crazy about guns before we met. She had personally seen an accidental discharge kill someone. She knew that I had been shooting basically since birth, and I was seriously into guns. I taught her to handle a firearm safely, and basic shooting skills. Now she is fine with them. I did pick her though because she is a lot like me-conservative, no nonsense, etc...She is very feminine, but she could mop the floor with your basic peace sign carrying, granola eating liberal.
 
My problem is worse. I changed a propane tank and the little bit that got loose when I took off the regulater caused me to have the cops and the firedepartment come visit. I haven't touched a gun around here in 4 years. I just keep them locked up and vist sites like this one and a couple others I belong to. She gets upset that i watch cops shows and the Unit as I am getting ideas about guns. Owell I get to use a chainsaw still.
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That is just flat out brutal man. My wife doesn't even look twice when I have a holster and gun on, and I'm practicing drawing 500 times from a surrender position, using a stop watch to see how fast I can change a magazine, etc...
 
Some people are telling you that it is good for your marriage to be up front, that hiding your hobby is bad. I say being like your wife is bad for your marriage, too. If I "accidentally" married a gun hater, I would politely tell her that my indulgence is part of my psyche, and I believe in self reliance, self protection, and gun ownership, and that she is free to have her opinion, but that she does not run my life. I would tell her that I will continue to keep and own guns, and that she can accept it or not, but the discussion is closed. If she persisted in badgering me about the guns, I would give he the silent treatment over that subject. Closed is closed. If she felt inclined to leave, well it would be like the Brad Paisley song, "I'm gonna Miss Her", but the issue is guns instead of fishing. It takes two, and when one is telling the other one what to do, then the marriage is alread under attack. You are not telling her how to be in her life, you are just telling her how it is in yours. You will not be happy if you "compromise" (really, this would be caving in to her wishes), as she is not giving up anything for you.
 
My problem is worse. I changed a propane tank and the little bit that got loose when I took off the regulater caused me to have the cops and the firedepartment come visit.

Excuse me?

Are you saying you caused an incendiary/pyrotechnic incident or was this an "air-quality infraction" ??

Les
 
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