Permission or Forgiveness?

[Ky Larry]

The Boss Lady and I have reached an understanding. When the gun safe was full and we had guns chained to the bed frame in the spare bed room, she said if something new comes in, something has to go to make room for it. That's about the only rule she has with my purchases.
We also have an agreement about my purchases. Nothing on credit.I work 40-60 hours a week. One hour of overtime pay ($42.50) a week is mine to spend. I save it in an old fruit cake tin until I have enough to cover a new gun or whatever. We're both in our fifties and are honest with each other. One lie usually leads to another so we have always tried to be straight up with each other.

 

[Rembrandt]

Call Dr Laura.....(we'll be listening)

 

[defjon]

the the poster about three posts back- when you get married, its "OUR" money not so much mine/yours. Most folks generally have ONE joint bank account.

 

[hso]

We've had this discussion before (pages and pages and pages) and you'll find most every opinion out there. As a responsible adult you're expected to have a budget that pays all the bills, puts some money away for retirement and keeps some for entertainment. If there's money left over the people who earn it should keep it and keep it separate from these other budgeted moneys. There should never need to be a discussion about what's done with it. If there's no money left over for personal use then any purchase is a joint decision since it takes away from budgeted funds.

You should never have to "bribe" your spouse or have to hide things from them. If you do you're either doing something you shouldn't or you haven't budgeted properly.

 

[Sav .250]

I have hobbies and my wife has the plastic. She takes care of all things
that includes......money. In my case, If there is something I want , I just save up and when I`ve got the cash........I buy it.
She never has said, you have to many or you don`t need that or why do you need another one? Life is good........

 

[rattletrap1970]

No, my money is my money. Which may explain why I'm not married.
I've seen too many of them fail, marriages that is. And I will not put myself in a position where if things failed I would have to fight to keep the things I've worked for.

 

[sourdough44]

The wife & I have a good relationship but I don't put everything on the table for discussion. Yes, I've bought some guns under the radar. I've also bought land & vehicles without asking. If the deal is right & the $$ for everyday life,(+ a safety net) is there I don't see a problem. The dynamics of the relationship plays the biggest part. What works for some would be disaster for others,YYM very well vary.

 

[Victor1Echo]

I'd like to help you out, but I never learned how to compromise; thus, I am not married. However, honesty goes a long way. An alternative would be to start trading you less desirable arms.

 

[SWDoc]

Good advice here. Original question regarding safe; explain it took years to fill the first one, guns cannot be left lying around, and you both know you will be buying more guns over the years. In addition, as your life progresses, you will (and probably already HAVE) accumulate jewelry, papers, and other valuables that should be locked up. You both need more secure storage. You need another safe.

Best advice given; be honest. Going on 34 years here. Bought 3rd safe 2 months ago.

It's possible the biggest obstacle will be where to put it....

Steve

 

[M2 Carbine]

I echo what's already been said about lying to your Wife.
If there's a need to lie, there's a much bigger problem than spending money for a gun.
I use to take great pleasure in showing my Wife what I bought at the gun show.

Just looking for creative ideas.

This, and a few other little money ideas worked well for my Wife and I.

Each payday my Wife and I got a fixed sum of money.
This money was strictly our own personal "Mad Money". This money was to be used for hobbies, buying "toys", whatever.
It was NOT to be used for "house stuff", gas, haircuts, etc. It was strictly "fun money", although it could be used to buy something for the partner, like a present.

The use of the money was not to be criticized by the other partner.

This system worked great for years.
If I saw a gun I wanted, I bought it, with no worries that I was using money we needed for a new washing machine, etc.

Generally I was broke and my Wife usually had several thousand saved.

 

[brboyer]

Permission or forgiveness? Neither.
I buy what I want, she buys what she wants.
If I was going to buy something that costs more than $2K - $3K I would let her know just out of courtesy - in the event she was going to make a purchase too, we might need to transfer more money into the checking account.

 

[Patriotme]

I buy what I want. There is no asking permission or begging for forgiveness. They bills are paid, there is extra and I'll buy the occasional toy when I want.