Rules for teen gun ownership

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Hey all,

Need some advice from my fellow gun parents. I will be gifting a firearm to my brother in law this Christmas, I live with my in-laws at the moment and he's been coming shooting with me for a long time now, he is 14 and will be given an H&R Topper 12 ga. It will be modified with a shorter barrel, a sling, and butt pad before given to him. His grandfather requested I make a rules list for him to sign and make sure he understands it. Here's what I got so far if there's anything youve done similar in the past with your kids lemme know what kinds of things I can add:
Keep the muzzle in a safe direction.

· Treat every firearm as if it were loaded.

· Be sure of the target and what is in front of it and beyond it.

· Keep your finger off the trigger until you are going to shoot.



Unless we are out shooting, the weapon is needed, or you are cleaning your weapon, the lock will be on at all times. Both you and I will have a key.

In the event that a friend comes over, you WILL give your gun to either to Grandad or Myself, too many “show me the gun” accident stories.

You will inspect and oil your gun at least once a month.

At ANYTIME your gun is requested by your grandparents or myself it will be given to us, no questions asked.

Under no circumstance is the gun to leave the house without the express permission of your grandparents. If a friend invites you shooting then you must run it by them
 
Good rules; I would add something about not loading it until you are ready to shoot (certain hunting scenarios excepted)

I will opine that a single shot 12 is going to thump him good unless very light loads are used. Also, by cutting the barrel, you will have eliminated any choke it would have had, so he will be left with a cylinder bore.

He will need a cleaning kit and someone to show him how to clean it properly.
 
Good rules; I would add something about not loading it until you are ready to shoot (certain hunting scenarios excepted)

I will opine that a single shot 12 is going to thump him good unless very light loads are used. Also, by cutting the barrel, you will have eliminated any choke it would have had, so he will be left with a cylinder bore.

He will need a cleaning kit and someone to show him how to clean it properly.
Yeah this is just a "fun gun" maybe hunting for hog and deer which I do with an cylinder bore. He's shot other singles and he likes them, I am including a cleaning kit and lock as part of the overall gift.
 
If his Grandfather requested a Rules List, then that must be done and the rules outlined above seem to cover things well.

If you remember being a teenaged boy, rules delivered by grown ups tend to sound like the teacher did on the old Peanuts cartoons "Whamwhampumwhamwhampwha..."

It's actually a developmental thing, exacerbated by the limited attention spans now made worse by technology. And boys, especially, simply have trouble thinking through to consequences.

So, in addition to the Rules, you should have a quiet, one-on-one, low pressure discussion with him where you just ask him some questions and let him draw some conclusions:

"Why do you think that one of the key rules about gun safety is to treat every firearm as if it were loaded?"

"How do you think that always pointing the muzzle in a direction that would avoid injury came to be a rule?" Etc.

I assure you that I am not some New Age Svengali. If you want teenage boys to think about consequences, you have to get them to think things through and draw their own conclusions. And then, it is just possible that they might avoid doing something very stupid/dangerous/harmful.

It's a nice thing you are doing, introducing the boy to firearms. I suggest using 7/8 oz light training loads in that Topper while he gets used to shooting or else you may find his interest wanes. Good luck.
 
Lemme be clear that he's not new to firearms. This is simply the first gun he's going to actually own. He has a .22 that rarely gets used and in a safe at his uncle's house and he shoots .44s and .45s with me regularly and shoots 12ga 3 inch mags with me.
 
I'm not a parent, but I have been a 14 year old.

To be honest, signing a written rules list doesn't mean anything, cause anyone can sign a piece of paper. If I was a kid in that situation and I wanted a gun, I'd be willing to say I agree to whatever regardless of how seriously I actually took it.

The behavior he's demonstrated so far around guns would be about the only factor I'd look at in being willing to give him one. If he's been safe and mature around guns, he'll most likely continue to be. If there's any doubts you or his grandfather have, a pseudo-contract isn't going to resolve them.

And tbh, I don't know if I'd give any 14 year old their own gun outright anyway. 14 is awfully young to be thinking through the kind of consequences that can entail. If one of his friends does the "show me your gun" thing mentioned above, then if he's like a lot of teenagers, peer pressure/approval is the #1 thing he'll be thinking about, "is this safe" will probably take a back seat to #2, and "that contract grandpa made me sign X years ago" will probably be around #50.
 
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I'm not a parent but I have been a 14 year old.

To be honest, signing a written rules list doesn't mean anything. Anyone can sign a piece of paper. If I was a kid in that situation and I wanted a gun, I'd just be willing to say I agree to whatever regardless of how seriously I actually took it.

The behavior he's demonstrated so far around guns would be about the only factor I'd look at in being willing to give him one. If he's been safe and mature around guns, he'll most likely continue to be. If there's any doubts you or his grandfather have, a pseudo-contract isn't going to resolve them.

And tbh, I don't know if I'd give a 14 year old their own gun outright anyway. 14 is awfully young to be thinking through the kind of consequences that can entail. If one of his friends does the "show me your gun" thing mentioned above, then if he's like a lot of teenagers, peer pressure/approval is the #1 thing he'll be thinking about, "is this safe" will probably take a back seat to #2, and "that contract grandpa made me sign X years ago" will probably be around #50.
I'm not a parent but I have been a 14 year old.

To be honest, signing a written rules list doesn't mean anything. Anyone can sign a piece of paper. If I was a kid in that situation and I wanted a gun, I'd just be willing to say I agree to whatever regardless of how seriously I actually took it.

The behavior he's demonstrated so far around guns would be about the only factor I'd look at in being willing to give him one. If he's been safe and mature around guns, he'll most likely continue to be. If there's any doubts you or his grandfather have, a pseudo-contract isn't going to resolve them.

And tbh, I don't know if I'd give a 14 year old their own gun outright anyway. 14 is awfully young to be thinking through the kind of consequences that can entail. If one of his friends does the "show me your gun" thing mentioned above, then if he's like a lot of teenagers, peer pressure/approval is the #1 thing he'll be thinking about, "is this safe" will probably take a back seat to #2, and "that contract grandpa made me sign X years ago" will probably be around #50.
Of course the list of rules isn't going to keep anyone from doing something they're not supposed to, gun laws anyone? His grandfather who is his primary guardian requested it as part of the deal. He has proven himself to be trustworthy around weapons with me and what I've taught him, it wasn't so long ago when 10 year olds were able to take their .22s on bikes through town and shoot at the local dump, what's happened now has been a change in societal degradation if you ask me, that doesn't work out for the the individual who can handle the reaponsibility though.
 
Of course the list of rules isn't going to keep anyone from doing something they're not supposed to, gun laws anyone? His grandfather who is his primary guardian requested it as part of the deal. He has proven himself to be trustworthy around weapons with me and what I've taught him, it wasn't so long ago when 10 year olds were able to take their .22s on bikes through town and shoot at the local dump, what's happened now has been a change in societal degradation if you ask me, that doesn't work out for the the individual who can handle the reaponsibility though.

I get that, but it seems like a false reassurance to me. Why does he need a contract telling him to give you the gun if you or his grandfather ask for it, or to put it away if his friends come over, for example? Those are the kind of things that should go without saying, and the fact that they even have to be put to paper is a bit concerning.
 
I get that, but it seems like a false reassurance to me. Why does he need a contract telling him to give you the gun if you or his grandfather ask for it, or to put it away if his friends come over, for example? Those are the kind of things that should go without saying, and the fact that they even have to be put to paper is a bit concerning.
Very good point.
If he is responsible and mature enough to have a gun his word, and maybe a handshake, should be enough to assure you he will handle the gun safely.
 
Very good point.
If he is responsible and mature enough to have a gun his word, and maybe a handshake, should be enough to assure you he will handle the gun safely.
I agree wholeheartedly, but as I am not his guardian, he may spend most of his time with me shooting and fishing and all manners of "man stuff" but I am not his parent and must respect the rules of the ones that are his guardians.
 
You are doing a great job in being a mentor to him.
Mentally and morally this is a teaching aid to teach him to keep his word via a contract.

Regarding the size 12ga. nothing wrong with that at all. A healthy physically fit male teen of average to larger build ought to be able to handle it just fine.
You know him in that regard much more than I.
And things like that are a pet peeve of mine. As when exactly the same age my parents bought a Mossberg/Revelation 500 for me for Christmas. But , taking advice from the FKIA's at work got me a. 410 full choke version. Thank God it wasn't a youth model to boot as I was already 5'11" by then. Yep, I was grateful for a new gun but it was virtually worthless for what I wanted it for. At that time we had a ton of qauil out on the back acres and they'd bust out at close range. Plus he got it in his mind .410 shells were cheaper . ...Not.:confused:
 
My boys were shooting with me at 10. They received their own first guns at 16. They were perfectly observant of all the safety rules. But, until they married and moved out, all the guns stayed in my safe and I was the only one with the combination. Never was a problem.
Don't give him a key. There is too much temptation and peer pressure from friends.
 
You are doing a great job in being a mentor to him.
Mentally and morally this is a teaching aid to teach him to keep his word via a contract.

Regarding the size 12ga. nothing wrong with that at all. A healthy physically fit male teen of average to larger build ought to be able to handle it just fine.
You know him in that regard much more than I.
And things like that are a pet peeve of mine. As when exactly the same age my parents bought a Mossberg/Revelation 500 for me for Christmas. But , taking advice from the FKIA's at work got me a. 410 full choke version. Thank God it wasn't a youth model to boot as I was already 5'11" by then. Yep, I was grateful for a new gun but it was virtually worthless for what I wanted it for. At that time we had a ton of qauil out on the back acres and they'd bust out at close range. Plus he got it in his mind .410 shells were cheaper . ...Not.:confused:
He was never taught on anything truly light, he shot his .22 once or twice , I have taken him shooting since. I trained him on light .44 specials and now he handles mags fairly well. The 12 will be used on bigger game and he can shoot a slug accurately from that same 500 within 75 yards. Btw that Mossberg was also a chopped up field barrel.
 
Here is my take and a little backstory.

I grew up with Hunters, LE, Military, etc in the household. I had cap guns and pop guns growing up and was allowed to shoot real guns at a very young age. I also knew that if I did something i wasn't supposed to id get whooped really good and god forbid I actually get caught sneaking around trying to find the guns to just look at or hold because I was fascinated by them!! 13yo I was allowed to stay home alone and would sneak and look at my brothers guns that were "locked" in the closet! I would pull them out and shoulder them and what not. I moved to the country 13yo and took a hunters ed class and my BIL purchased a shotgun for me to barrow when we went hunting. I was then at age 15 allowed to have the shotgun at my house and guess what? I would mess around with the stupid thing! I didn't act like an idiot with them around anyone cause I knew it would be trouble, but you bet sitting in the deer stand or blind i was messing with the thing. You bet I was messing with it in my room too. It took me a lot of rounds down range and time hunting and being about 16yo or so when i didn't get the urge to just mess with the thing! Now at almost 31yo the guns stay in the safe and don't get touched until its time to use them. I got out of the faze around 16yo or so cause the new I have my own gun" faze wore off.

Buy the gun for the KID and keep it at your house but tell him it is his gun but it stays with you! If your the only one he shoots with then there is absolutely no need for him to have it in his possession and im pretty sure its illegal. I see this going very badly regardless of how the kid acts when an adult is around. Hey Jimmy check this out and then Jimmy goes and tells his parents or the school. I was about 8-9yo and my buddy climbed on top of his parents china cabinet and grabbed his dads gun to show me and pointed it at me. I told my dad and i got the chit beat out of me and i didn't even do anything! At 16yo when i was allowed to drive and go pheasant and rabbit hunt with my buddies man we were doing all kinds of dumb stuff with guns! Try shooting a 3'' turkey load or slug one handed in a single shot 12ga. I got bullied a lot as a kid and carried knives and knight sticks around to protect myself from being beaten up by the bigger kids. The way the world is now days i would fear he would threaten someone or someone take this and run with it. I'm not saying your nephew or BIL would do this but I've heard it too often than not.

A paper isn't going to do squat and giving this kid a lock to a shotgun he cant legally possess without an adult just screams bad decisions. Someone said kids used to ride their bikes down the road with a 22lr in the basket. I cant remember the last time I've seen a gang of kids riding their bikes down the road to the park or what not and back then kids had respect, morals and if they screwed up got beat half to death and everyone in town knew the kid or parents. Now days a kid screws up and the parents afraid the kid will beat them up. lol.
 
I raised 7 kids, as a hunter, making a living with guns.

As small kids, whenever they asked to see a gun, I let them, and soon the curiosity was gone, so looking at what dad has when dad was gone wasnt a problem.

My kids started out early, as I scaled down firearms to their size, and showed them what I expect then to act like, basicly the same as you outlined above.
However, when they started hunting, I had them do so alone, because with a long arm, they wouldnt shoot themselves, and alone, their hunting partners/brothers/sisters cant shoot them accidentally.

Besides, a lone hunt teaches a fella alot more then the distractions of an electronics :D

When they got a bit older, and I knew their habits, I let them hunt together.
 
Here is my take and a little backstory.

I grew up with Hunters, LE, Military, etc in the household. I had cap guns and pop guns growing up and was allowed to shoot real guns at a very young age. I also knew that if I did something i wasn't supposed to id get whooped really good and god forbid I actually get caught sneaking around trying to find the guns to just look at or hold because I was fascinated by them!! 13yo I was allowed to stay home alone and would sneak and look at my brothers guns that were "locked" in the closet! I would pull them out and shoulder them and what not. I moved to the country 13yo and took a hunters ed class and my BIL purchased a shotgun for me to barrow when we went hunting. I was then at age 15 allowed to have the shotgun at my house and guess what? I would mess around with the stupid thing! I didn't act like an idiot with them around anyone cause I knew it would be trouble, but you bet sitting in the deer stand or blind i was messing with the thing. You bet I was messing with it in my room too. It took me a lot of rounds down range and time hunting and being about 16yo or so when i didn't get the urge to just mess with the thing! Now at almost 31yo the guns stay in the safe and don't get touched until its time to use them. I got out of the faze around 16yo or so cause the new I have my own gun" faze wore off.

Buy the gun for the KID and keep it at your house but tell him it is his gun but it stays with you! If your the only one he shoots with then there is absolutely no need for him to have it in his possession and im pretty sure its illegal. I see this going very badly regardless of how the kid acts when an adult is around. Hey Jimmy check this out and then Jimmy goes and tells his parents or the school. I was about 8-9yo and my buddy climbed on top of his parents china cabinet and grabbed his dads gun to show me and pointed it at me. I told my dad and i got the chit beat out of me and i didn't even do anything! At 16yo when i was allowed to drive and go pheasant and rabbit hunt with my buddies man we were doing all kinds of dumb stuff with guns! Try shooting a 3'' turkey load or slug one handed in a single shot 12ga. I got bullied a lot as a kid and carried knives and knight sticks around to protect myself from being beaten up by the bigger kids. The way the world is now days i would fear he would threaten someone or someone take this and run with it. I'm not saying your nephew or BIL would do this but I've heard it too often than not.

A paper isn't going to do squat and giving this kid a lock to a shotgun he cant legally possess without an adult just screams bad decisions. Someone said kids used to ride their bikes down the road with a 22lr in the basket. I cant remember the last time I've seen a gang of kids riding their bikes down the road to the park or what not and back then kids had respect, morals and if they screwed up got beat half to death and everyone in town knew the kid or parents. Now days a kid screws up and the parents afraid the kid will beat them up. lol.
I guess my upbringing was the similar but without the whole messing with guns part. I am the son of a Vietnam vet. My father slept with a Winchester 1300 by the bed and a .38 m&p revolver in a shoulder holster around the headboard. I never messed with them and never gave into peer pressure if friends were around. I knew my duties and followed them the way my father set his rules. I'm only 25 so I didn't grow up in that time frame i stated about kids doing stuff like that and yet I didn't turn out that way. I know adult men that do nothing but fondle guns and he's not that way. Not every kid nowadays is a bleeding heart dumb liberal.
 
I raised 7 kids, as a hunter, making a living with guns.

As small kids, whenever they asked to see a gun, I let them, and soon the curiosity was gone, so looking at what dad has when dad was gone wasnt a problem.

My kids started out early, as I scaled down firearms to their size, and showed them what I expect then to act like, basicly the same as you outlined above.
However, when they started hunting, I had them do so alone, because with a long arm, they wouldnt shoot themselves, and alone, their hunting partners/brothers/sisters cant shoot them accidentally.

Besides, a lone hunt teaches a fella alot more then the distractions of an electronics :D

When they got a bit older, and I knew their habits, I let them hunt together.
That's pretty much the way my father went about it. Used to have a saying, "can't kill the cat if you take away the curiosity."
 
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